I don't care about any of these people, but if you can make 7 figures from 10,000 subscribers on Substack I am fucking out of this dump
I'm optimistic enough to believe I can con 5% of you idiots into tithing for my word garbage
*use coupon code DAVENEEDSAGULFSTREAMG650
After 20 years of failing to make money from my blog and twitter, if Substack and NFTs don't work out I'm going back to real estate
On a serious note, I think 99% of the Substack hatred by blue check bylines from the New York Toff and Washington Poobah is based on the crippling fear that no one outside the New York Toff and Washington Poobah would willingly pay for their brain farts
I mean it's exactly the same reason that the Weepy Channel and the Curling Network lose their shit at the very idea of cable TV cafeteria pricing
honestly, if newspaper columnists focused more on serial killing instead of third rate Twitter snark, at least they'd be somewhat interesting
And if I'm gonna be killed by a newspaper columnist, I prefer a quick evisceration by pruning shears than being slowly, excruciatingly bored to death
Go ahead and say what you want about my shtick, but you're never going to find a generic equivalent at the National Orthodox Opinionator website
semi-serious #DavePoll: suppose I had a $3/month Substack for Car IDs, a $3/month Substack for my old long form blog style stuff, and $5/month package for both. Would you subscribe to...
did I mention the exclusive subscriber-only candid boudoir photos
did I also mention you can opt out of the candid boudoir photos for an additional $1 fee

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More from @iowahawkblog

12 Apr
Saving this one for my next accidental liquor store crash
I think we need a Hoover Dam for the dictionary
Technically your contributions to my Patreon are now infrastructure spending, so alert your accountants
Read 4 tweets
10 Apr
How's this for a barn (OK, container) find? After 35 years in storage, 1955 Porsche 550 Spyder chassis # 0069 (nice). Hat tip to my pal @oldcrowspeed who found the 550 and is seen here bringing it out of its tomb into the sunlight.
btw for you non-car people, the Porsche 550 Spyder is (sadly) best known as James Dean's "Little Bastard" death car. Dean's 550 was VIN 550-0055, built 14 cars ahead on the Stuttgart assembly line. Image
oddly enough James Dean died in 1955, in a Porsche 550, serial #550-0055.

I guess you could say that James Dean.... can't drive 55.

I'll show myself out now
Read 7 tweets
10 Apr
Today's Hill Country garage crawl featured a pair of Deuces... ImageImageImageImage
first one is a box stock, AACA class winner 1932 Ford Model B roadster; second is same thing after applying some genuine old-timey 1950s hot rodding techniques.

Then a pair of 6s... ImageImageImageImage
First one is a 1936 Ford 3 window coupe, second a 1936 5 window coupe. First motor is an early Olds Rocket with a vintage 6x2 drag race intake, second is to trigger the dopes who think small block Chevys don't belong in hot rods.

Also, how about a pair of 9s? ImageImage
Read 4 tweets
10 Apr
Ahh, spring returns to the familiar crack of hickory on horsehide. Today's #DavesCarIDService is brought to by the Des Moines Cubs, KRNT, and the Tucker Corporation, who invite you to vote your favorite Cub to win a sensational 1948 Tucker Torpedo! Image
A the winner is: Bob Borkowski! The lanky outfielder led the Cornfield Bruin Nine with a .296 BA in 1948. Unfortunately, due to production problems at Tucker's Chicago plant, Bob will get a cash award of $2000 in lieu of the car. Congrats Bob!

(the car is worth $1.5M-$2M today) Image
It's amazing how many of my soft spot synapses are triggered by that image: Iowa, the Cubs, and of course Tucker Torpedoes- so please indulge me in a brief meandering tangent before getting to the car IDs.
Read 39 tweets
7 Apr
If it needs somebody to operate it, is it really a robot?
ELEKTRO SPEAK
ELEKTRO SMOKE
I am hereby changing my job title from Janitor to AI Floor Bufferbot Engineer
Read 9 tweets
6 Apr
C'mon, she's no villain, she's a femme fatale
I don't care how many people she murdered, she has far too high a va-va-va-voom factor to be labeled a "villain"
if the difference between "crazy" and "eccentric" is money, then the difference between "villain" and "femme fatale" is looks
Read 6 tweets

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