Thread by @diaryofa9jagirl

I remember that time I tried on a love that wasn’t mine.

I convinced myself that it fit. Also, love itself told me, it belonged to me. I’d watch the real owner wear it while I waited for my turn to try it on.

I had only a short time to try it on though, because it wasn’t mine.

Then I’d pray to God, ‘let this love fit me. My heart wants it, love wants me, love had said to me many times, “I don’t belong there, I’m not happy there, I belong with you.”

Still, it didn’t fit.

So, I took love to a seamstress, “fix it for me,” I said.

The seamstress turned it inside out, looked at me with pitiful eyes and said, “The owner has fitted it perfectly on herself, there’s no space left to adjust for you.”

I knew the seamstress told the truth, deep in my heart it was clear, this wasn’t my love to have.

I looked up at love, waiting for the promise made to be fulfilled, asking when it would be my turn to permanently fit into it.

Love said, “If you can’t be patient, maybe both of you can fit into me.”

Eyes heavy and filled with truth serum too stubborn to drop,

I said to love, “ I DO NOT SHARE.”

Love said, “but you’re already sharing.”

The truth serum that welled up in my eyes dropped, along with it, the scale that blinded me.

Love was wrong though, I wasn’t “already” sharing, I was borrowing as the owner of love lived in ignorance,

I, who tried on a love that wasn’t mine lived in false hope and a promise land of lies.

I had sustained so many scars while trying to forcefully fit into a love that wasn’t mine, my heart had become torn, worn out and wary. I didn’t do anything about it because I was promised,

it would all be worth it at the end. So I continued to hurt, as I believed.

My heart bled, it caused me to throw a tantrum, love got so tired of the drama, it finally went back to the “original” owner where he said he didn’t fit.

I know now, if love doesn’t fit, not to force it.

I know now, if love belongs to someone else, to let it go. I do not have to squeeze myself between two people because I’d be the only one that’ll be crushed.

I know now, unless love is unencumbered, never to try it on.

If you’re with a married man who’s told you he’s having a tough time in his marriage and on the verge of separation, read this.

All signs may show that he’s telling the truth but bear in mind, those signs could be placed strategically just FOR YOU.

#DANG

This was first posted on June 16, 2018.