Thread by @Maria_Tureaud

Woohoo! It's time for the first of my #RevPit #10Queries!!

What is it? Non-specific notes on my submissions, with hopefully helpful advice to help ALL writers. At this time, I can't guarantee feedback to these entrants, but I sure will try!

The key:
A: Adult
YA: Young Adult
MG: Middle Grade
#RevPit #10Queries

Genre Key:
HF: Hist Fiction
H: Horror
T: Thriller
F: Fantasy
HR: Historical Romance
SF: Sci-fi
#RevPit #10Queries

Q1: HF. Interesting premise--I'm intrigued. I'd like to see more of the plot vs the character's personal conundrum--which is so endearing! But we need to know the arc AND the stakes #revPit #10Queries

P1: Excellent voice! Really engaging/witty...but I'm not sure why our MC's getting this kind of reaction. Ground us a little more and give us the why. Who/what/where/when/why--the essential recipe for every opening #RevPit #10Queries

Q2: AH. Query needs to be restructured, It reads like a dual POV mss, but isn't. Keep it focused on the MC and main plot. This story combines 2 of my absolute fave things ever!!!! INTRIGUED #RevPit #10Queries

P2: Begins with a prologue, and from the info gleaned in the query, I already know most of it can be peppered into the story to create a twisty reveal later. Excellent writing, and wonderful voice. Wish I could've met the MC #RevPit #10Queries

Q3: MG T. The concept theme kends itself to Upper Mg. Super fun concept, but the plot sounds intense. Lighten the way and show some of that MG hope by experimenting with MG voice in the query #RevPit #10Queries

P3: Very relatable opening for MG. Watch your vocabulary and write from a kid's perspective. What words would they use? How would they say things/express themselves? #RevPit #10Queries

'Kends' isn't an Irishism...it's a typo. *lends lol Apologies!

Q4 AF: Query is vague--more a back-jacket blurb to entice vs a snapshot of arc and plot. who is MC? What do they want? How do they go and get it? What are the stakes? #RevPit #10Queries

P4: A prologue done well! However, we need some grounding in the first chapter. Where are we? What's happening? We begin with introspection, then MC wakes up. Was it a dream? Who is MC? What's happened? What do they want from life? #RevPit #10Queries

Q5 HR: Stakes introduced later don't tie in with Mc's intro. Why are these stakes an issue? Give us their hopes, wants, stakes, journey, and the hard choice that shapes the plot #RevPit #10Queries

P5: GORGEOUS! Excellent balance of show vs tell and an injection of Deep POV that left me breathless. Prime example of how important a good query is when querying. An agent might have overlooked the pages. I MUST keep reading!!!!!!!!!! #RevPit #10Queries

Q6 AH. Really intriguing concept, but I need to know more about the plot: What does MC stand to lose? How does meeting this other character create this situation? #RevPit #10Queries

P6: We need grounding here. The prose begins with action, so give us the Who/What/Why/Where/How/When to settle us into the story. A sentence or two will go a long way #RevPit #10Queries

Q7 YA SF: Umm....HELLOOOOO! This feels like a fast-paced concept, and the stakes are HIGH. It feels fresh and new, and **POPCORN** WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?? #RevPit #10Queries

P7: Now THAT'S how you open a mss! In a few brief sentences, we have: stakes, who, what, where, when--all upfront! Excellent writing, & I feel like I know the MC after 5 pages. I'm hooked...and really, really worried about our MC #RevPit #10Queries

Q8 MG H: We need a little more clarity on MC's goals. How is she able to accomplish this? Is it permanent? Excellent comps! I'm in my feels right now! #RevPit #10Queries

P8: We need more grounding in the pages. There's a lot happening here. Why does she need this object? Slow it down a bit. I now have clarity on the why behind MC's goals. Make it clear in the query, and these pages will fulfill the promise of premise #RevPit #10Queries

Q9: MG F: Fun concept! MG voice present in the query! Family theme prevalent! Stakes are clear! WELL DONE!! #RevPit #10Queries

P9: Fun Mg voice--nailed it! I'd like to see a paragraph at the beginning to connect the reader to the MC a little more. A few sentences to tell us where we are, and what the MC hopes/wants, versus dropping us into action #RevPit #10Queries

Q10 YA HF: This author is no stranger to querying, methinks. Excellent structure. Arc, plot, and stakes are present. Flawless! #RevPit #10Queries

P10: Well-written pages. Wonderful descriptions! Dig a little deeper into MC's POV and give us the 'why.' Why does she long for this? Why is she so desperate to get away? What's her Emotional Wound #RevPit #10Queries

That's all for this round! There'll be another round from me next week. If anyone has any questions, feel free to comment and I'll get to them when I can! #RevPit #10Queries