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Dreamweasel Profile picture
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22 Apr, 4 tweets, 1 min read
“DEBATE ME, YOU COWARD!” is always the sign of a serious thinker
Same As It Ever Was: ⬇️
As always, only reason the dogmatists want public “debate” is to lend unearned legitimacy to their views by rattling their opponents in public.

MTG is less a public servant than a 24/7 shitposter, so any publicity she gets is a net gain for her.
Another vintage thread where my opponent’s arguments are apparently lost to the ages: ⬇️

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More from @Dreamweasel

Dreamweasel Profile picture
18 Apr
Yes, we all remember President Obama with his incendiary and notoriously divisive rhetoric, particularly when it came to race
rawstory.com/barack-obama-j…
For the record, I’m giving you all credit for recognizing the intrinsic absurdity of my premise without having to explain my sarcasm
Because if there’s one thing that never happens on Twitter, it’s deliberately absurd statements being taken 100% at face value
Read 4 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
14 Apr
It does not matter.
I’m thinking about writing a science-fiction screenplay where a cynical TV commentator who reliably repeats white-supremacist talking points is replaced with a bona fide white supremacist who believes every word he says and NOBODY NOTICES THE DIFFERENCE BECAUSE IT DOES NOT MATTER
ALIEN 1: There is conservative commentator Tucker Carlson; let’s scramble his brains to make him a bona fide racist

ALIEN 2: Wasn’t he already—

ALIEN 1: No, it was just for ratings

(ZAP)

CARLSON: We have too many immigrants

FOX VIEWERS: Something seems...not at all different
Read 4 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
9 Apr
But is he up to the responsibility of making 60% of the country furious every day for four years
We’re never gonna see a Republican like Bush, McCain, or Romney again. The GOP might as well replace their goddamned elephant with an actual poop-flinging monkey.
CHARACTERISTICS OF GOP RISING STARS, POST-TRUMP:

- Don’t know jack about shit
- Make headlines for boldly ignorant sloganeering and/or smug putdowns
- “How triggered are the liberals” is primary measure of success
- Defended by wave after wave of Whataboutism on Fox News et. al
Read 4 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
6 Apr
I have several questions
1. Why was the “DRAKE” caption on his forehead needed; the tattoo was perfectly recognizable without it

2. Was Drake recently in an accident where he had a MEMENTO-style memory affliction

3. Was Drake cancelled for some reason
4. Did somebody who was desperate to hide their Drake tattoo imagine an enormous snail in its place and think “Eureka; the perfect crime!”

5. Who in history has ever had a giant snail tattooed on their body

6. Why not stamp “SNAIL” on its forehead so we don’t get the wrong idea
Read 4 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
28 Mar
Wake your spouse up at 6:00 AM and say "Honey, I'm pregnant!" This will be particularly effective if you are a man

#AprilFoolsPrankTips
At the grocery store, buy a box of Raisin Bran when you secretly wanted corn flakes

#AprilFoolsPrankTips
Tell people your cat's favorite color is orange when you secretly know her favorite color is green

#AprilFoolsPrankTips
Read 4 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
15 Mar
BILL BURR: (makes joke about feminism)

FEMINISTS:

BURR STANS: TRIGGERED!!! FEMINISTS CAN’T TAKE A JOKE!!!
It’s almost as if there were a subset of the population that took such pleasure in making liberals angry that their own wishful thinking rendered the actual reactions of liberals irrelevant Image
I can easily imagine a brand-new Turning Point USA podcast where the theme of the very first episode is “Look at How Much I Triggered the Liberals Last Time”.

Doesn’t matter if it’s true. “Triggerer of Liberals” is now the imagined status of all modern conservative commentators.
Read 4 tweets

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