Can we talk COMPLEMENTARIANISM? What happens to marriage when couples act out the commonly taught doctrine that husbands make the final decision in marriage?
After surveying 20,000 women, we now know!
A thread with fun stats stuff:
After surveying 20,000 women, we now know!
A thread with fun stats stuff:
Let's start with beliefs: 62.2% of Christian wives believe that a wife submitting to a husband's leadership is a way that she can love him. And 39.4% of wives believe that the husband should have decision-making power in the marriage.
And you know what? When women believe this, it doesn't affect their marriage. It's neutral--not good or bad.
UNLESS--and this is a big unless--they actually act it out.
You see, most people who believe this do not practice it.
UNLESS--and this is a big unless--they actually act it out.
You see, most people who believe this do not practice it.
In only 17.9% of Christian marriages do wives report that husbands make the final decision (even if they consult with the wife first). The vast majority of Christian couples practice collaborative decision-making, where they work towards an agreement.
What happens to those who let the husband decide? The chance of divorce skyrockets--it's 7.4 times higher (similar to the Gottman Institute's results: these types of marriages have an 81% divorce rate).
These women are also far more likely to say that their opinions don't matter in marriage as much as their husband's do. And when that happens? Sexual satisfaction plummets.
When wives feel their opinions don't matter, they're:
* 6.74 x less likely to say their husband prioritizes their pleasure
* 3.24 x less likely to be aroused during sex
* 1.31 x more likely to experience sexual pain.
* 3.61 x more likely to have sex only because they have to.
* 6.74 x less likely to say their husband prioritizes their pleasure
* 3.24 x less likely to be aroused during sex
* 1.31 x more likely to experience sexual pain.
* 3.61 x more likely to have sex only because they have to.
In summary: believing husbands should make the final decision doesn't hurt marriages. But those who act it out are more likely to get divorced, & the husbands are far more likely to be selfish lovers. If a belief is only benign if it's not practiced, is it a belief worth keeping?
Why not instead teach couples to seek the Holy Spirit? To do the hard work of wrestling through a decision, rather than taking shortcuts? To value each other? That points people to Christ. It helps the marriage. And it creates stronger families.
You can read even more stats about decision-making in The Great Sex Rescue, along with even more data about the obligation sex message, the "all men struggle with lust" message, the gatekeeping message, and more!
tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-resc…
#greatsexrescue
tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-resc…
#greatsexrescue
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