Thread by @TheSpoonyOne

Okay, so in the "World of Darkness" RPG series, God punishes Caine for the murder of his brother by... *checks rulebook*

...making him immortal, invincible, and giving him the power to do literally anything just by thinking about it.

Then God punished the rest of humanity for... *checks Bible* ...no specific reason, by flooding the entire world and killing everyone.

I think one of my favorite parts of the Bible is when Moses leads his people out of Egypt, miraculously parts the waters of an ENTIRE SEA, and the moment he goes up a mountain to talk to God, they make a gold bull and start worshipping it.

But Moses is up on this mountain talking to God, and he comes back down with the Ten Commandments and he's like "I'm back, everyone! God told me the rules we all need to live by! Number One: thou shalt not worship other gods or create graven idols-- OH COME ON!!"

And the Israelites are like "OOGA CHAKA OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAKA" and Moses is all "where the fuck did you find enough gold to create a fucking bull idol?" and they're like "I CAN'T! STOP! THIS! FEELIN'!"

Moses must've been feeling like "I mean, I was the one who parted the sea. You'd think they'd make a statue of me because it was the awesomest thing ever."

Mob: GOLD-EN-BULL! GOLD-EN-BULL!

Although I sympathize with the Israelites, like, I don't suppose God gave you a map that isn't a motherfucking desert while you were up there, did He? Oh, Commandments, neat. Let's eat those.