Thread by @gradydoctor

1/
#HumpDayHumanism

I'd just gone hard on some #motivationalinterviewing about smoking cessation with a Grady elder one day. We talked about his grandbabies and his life. We even talked about his "nature."

He was looking deep into my eyes--like it was really resonating.

Yup.

2/
Me: "Well?"
Him: "Well what?"
Me: "What're your thoughts?"
Him: "My thoughts 'bout what?"

I groaned. He was tickled.

Me: "Sir! About quitting smoking?"

He raised one eyebrow at me and laughed again. This raspy, gravelly chuckle.

Him: "Miss Manning?"

3/
Me: *listening*
Him: "Tell me. Have you ever had somebody piss you off on a hourly job real, real bad--then step outside, flick your lighter, and then take a good, hard drag on a menthol cigarette?"

I shook my head no. Because I had not.

4/
Him: "What about when you come home and your lights is off 'cause you ain't paid the bill--and you know you ain't gon' have the money for it for like 3-4 more days--so you sit on your porch and you light you one just to ease your nerves?"

I twisted my mouth and said nothing.

5/
Him: "Or this--you ever played a late night hand of spades with a good, shit-talking partner and some Jack Daniels?" *snaps finger* "Oooh! Or pressure-washed your driveway all day on a Saturday?"

*silence*

Him: "No?"
Me: "No."
Him: *chuckling* "I ain't thank so."

6/
Him: "You ever got stuck in traffic behind a jackknifed semi on 285 after a long-ass day? Looking all through your glove box and pockets and then felt glad as HELL to find 3 looseys and a pack of matches?"

He was amusing himself. I heard him mumble something under his breath.

7/
Me: "What's that, sir?"
Him: "I just said that y'all doctors is funny sometimes."

*silence*

Him: "See, if you knew what you was REALLY asking somebody to do when you try and get 'em to quit smoking, you'd know it ain't easy as some peptalk 'bout how folk love you."

Ooph.

8/
I sat there thinking about the principles of #motivationalinterviewing--and one of the main strategies being to highlight the discrepancy between goals and current behavior.

But also a big piece is #empathy.

Yeah. That.

Him: "You ain't never been a smoker have you?"

9/
Me: "Uh. No, sir." *squinting an eye* "Wait. Unless you count the semester me and my college roommate used to play dominoes and smoke Virginia Slims after really big exams."
Him: "Dominoes with. . . Virginia Slims? Why?"
Me: *shrugs*

*laughter*

Me: *now serious* "Sir?"

10/
Me: "I'm thinking about what you said. And I'm wondering how you think I should talk to people about smoking instead."

He narrowed his eyes.

Him: "Well. I say part of it is just understanding. Shit. Sometimes easing your nerves feel more urgent than anything else."

11/
Me: *listening*
Him: "You could start out finding out what the smoking do for the person. And who they smoke with. Not just at home but period."
Me: *listening*
Him: "Ooo--and which one is they favorite."
Me: "Wait. What?"

I cocked my head in confusion.

12/
Him: "Like. . . . is it when you first get up? The one with coffee? After a meal? In your car? And so on and so forth. 'Cause see that's the one that's hardest to let go of."
Me: "Hmmm."
Him: "And you got to ask about situations. Which ones always make you want to smoke."

13/
*silence*

Me: "Okay then."
Him: "Okay what?"
Me: "Which one is your favorite?"

He stared skyward, then glanced back at me with a mischievous smirk.

Me: "Oh Lord."
Him: *laughing* "Naww. It ain't that. I promise."
Me: "Okay. . . ."

He paused. Then shrugged.

14/
Him: "It's when I'm on the can. I take me a ashtray, some piping hot coffee, and a newspaper and settle right on into it." *shaking his head* "Whew. My best time to think!"

I stared with out blinking. He threw his head back and laughed.

Me: "Eww sir."

*laughter*

15/
Him: "Shiid. Just ask your patients who smoke. They'll tell you. Half the world's problems could get solved on a commode with a good smoke. Plus you already got the matches in there."
Me: "Huh?"
Him: "You don't know 'bout matches? That's the old school air freshener!"

16/
Me: "So once you know, what should you do next?"
Him: "Well. I say make that the last one they give up. Like I could see me not smoking before bed or after dinner. But I'd need to ease into the other ones."
Me: "Hmmm."
Him: "And think up some stuff to ease your nerves."

17/
Me: "Gotcha."
Him: "I ain't a doctor but I DO know about smoking."
Me: "I like this advice."

*silence*

Me: "Okay. So can we start by cutting out your 2 least favorite cigarettes?"
Him: "I can do that."
Me: "Bedtime and after dinner?"
Him: "Okay."

Okay.

18/
Me: "And your nerves? What about that part?"
Him: "I'mma have to think on that."
Me: "Okay."

*pause*

Him: "My grandson got this fidget spinner thing. What you think?

He was serious. I did an internal pirouette.

Me: "I think that's great."

19/
And that was pretty much it.

I saw him checking out a few moments later.

Him: "Virginia Slims?" *shaking head* "Why?"
Me: *shrug* "We liked the slogan."
Him: "You come a long way baby!"
Me: "Exactly."

Exactly.

Damn, I love this job.

Yeah.

#humanismalways