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kilgore trout, dna harvester Profile picture
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2 Jul, 5 tweets, 1 min read
listen if you think it’s so easy how about YOU try making a car that won’t spontaneously lock you inside and barbecue you
this is revolutionary technology, we only invented the car door last week. there are going to be glitches
tesla owners are more than willing to accept being flame broiled like a whopper because they know that is the cost of moving forward with the jetsons dream of not having caveman tech like analog door locks
broke: don’t barbecue, cook inside

woke: barbecue yourself inside a tesla
door lock software available in 2024 for premium users

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More from @KT_So_It_Goes

kilgore trout, dna harvester Profile picture
1 Jul
any “free speech” social media platform is doomed to fail spectacularly because normal people don’t want to read a bunch of nazi shit and the freak users who don’t mind reading a bunch of nazi shit are only using the platform to trigger the normals
if you ban the nazi shit you’re violating the core feature of the concept, and if you don’t, the platform winds up just being a bunch of nazis posting the same horrible shit and starting wars with each other
the lib-owners who are cool with the nazi shit have no libs to trigger, and with no libs the nazis start off by waging war with the lib-owners for not being hardcore enough. it’s really a very funny death spiral if these weren’t the worst people on the internet
Read 8 tweets
kilgore trout, dna harvester Profile picture
29 Jun
gonna start a gofundme to hire 500 national guard troops from north dakota to go down there and kick their ass
the second civil war started on june 30, 2021, when joke account “kilgore trout, dna harvester” accidentally crowdfunded a firefight in south texas
everyone involved in this should go to jail. the billionaire, the governor, the hacks and aides and flunkies who helped it happen
Read 5 tweets
kilgore trout, dna harvester Profile picture
27 Jun
every st patrick’s day me and the boys get together to bloody our knuckles on a union jack taped to a heavy bag & piss on photos of cromwell but when someone else holds a grudge? well now they’ve gone too far
very weird to me how anyone can be irish and not understand dragging around a grudge for oh I dunno five hundred years
fuck the IRA but I mean I get where they were coming from because it was drilled into my brain why hey there’s some pretty good reasons. god forbid anybody who had it even worse get the same leeway
Read 5 tweets
kilgore trout, dna harvester Profile picture
25 Jun
ImageImage
sopranos is the greatest single predictor of what american politics would devolve into fight me
also the absolute minute-to-minute howlingly funniest show ever widely regarded as heavy drama
Read 4 tweets
kilgore trout, dna harvester Profile picture
24 Jun
I’ve got major problems with the beige trim on the bucks’ court logo. if you’re gonna use a trim this color you’ve gotta go with a darker court color so it pops. just a waste of paint
logo would actually look pretty great with zero trim tbh
anyway this is what I do now that the sixers stuck my head in a toilet. I’m a logo complainer now. when does college football start.
Read 6 tweets
kilgore trout, dna harvester Profile picture
24 Jun
politics absolutely but would be interested to see this plotted against states with strong industry in medical schools & healthcare work. PA infamously has pennsyltucky to contend with but even there you can’t turn over a rock without finding a family member in the field
I run into plenty of anti vaxxing MAGA nuts but even in the reddest counties they’re outnumbered five to one by MAGA nuts who still ran out to get a vaccine because they had a lot of external pressure from family & friends working in a medical field
kinda suspect that is not so much the case in, like, oklahoma
Read 4 tweets

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