Thread by @Wizarab10

NOBODY OWES YOU ANYTHING: I AM A HYPOCRITE

I was taken in the smell of summer when my mind harangued me with the early Twitter discourse on nobody owing you nothing. I reflected on it and realized, I wasn't just a hypocrite, it is a dangerous mindset to have.

In every sphere of human relationship, there is an acceptable code of conduct and you don't breach that.
- Arsene Wenger

Man was not created to live in isolation. We owe family everything. We friends love, support and the best of us. "What are friends for" is not just an obiter

While telling people that nobody owes a them anything is motivating to be self reliant, it creates a precedent where everyone live for themselves alone. I can understand not feeling entitled to people's positive responses but it is the norm to expect it from those close at heart.

I don't think I am in the best position to hold such a view because my lifestyle is contrary. In further hypocrisy, my values are basically making friends by being friendly. For someone who was voted as most generous person in a University hostel, this position should not be mine

We owe family everything. They are our life bond. We owe friends the best of us. We owe strangers civility and protection. We owe the poor charity as it is convenient. We owe our partners, commitment. We owe our kids parental responsibility and a better world to live in.

I think of Kuzi. My friendship with him is one where he has access to my wallet and just take it from my back pocket and goes "make I use this one chop lunch." I think of Elemi who told me in Law School that I was the nicest guy he had met.

I think of Osahon who was a hostel mate but wasn't close then. He needed a thousand naira to go home and couldn't get it having patrolled the hostel and I gave him my card to withdraw and bring the card before leaving. He stammered to express his shock.

I think of U I, the first friend I had in Uniben who needed 100 naira to go home and ask him to bring back 500 later and he never returned it but I let it pass. However, I didn't give him again because he couldn't be trusted.

I think of a hot afternoon in LT2 in my faculty during a free period where someone needed cash and having asked others, I overheard a friend saying "if you really want this money, you have to ask...." Yes, you guessed right. ME!

I think of 500L resumption. I opened my box to get something & my roommate shouted that I brought supermarket to school and asked if he could get a drink and chocolate, I said yes. He stepped out and like ant, those who saw him came over - "I heard you are sharing stuff for boys"

They were like 20 but they left with something. I think of Kuzi who told me I was different when he realized my wardrobe wasn't locked in a public hostel. I had the most movies in my laptop and it was common for it to disappear before my arrival but they watched over it for me.

I think of my hostel friends who couldn't cook and hung around knowing I always had a full pot or would cook soon. After a while, I stopped serving others my food and asked them to contribute while I cooked for everybody and dished it - everyday.

Even when he wants to say no, he is empathetic.
- Eric (200L room mate)

I think of the many others whom I had to buy food for who asked me to ignore meat and add more food but I ended up adding to the food & buying meat because as I told them - I won't have you eat without meat.

I think of E who a dangerous ex-hostel mate who wanted to date a friend and wanted me to use my closeness to her to get her to date him, having lied I was his cousin and I had to flip the game on him to protect her.

I think of L, a Law School mate now brother who needed to leave 9ja asap and I put him through everything and offered him my place to stay till he was settled.

I should stop thinking at this point because I am beginning to sound sanctimonious which is the opposite of my intent.

Suffice it to say that I have been the best of son and sibling. I have been the best of friend and acquittance. I have been a faithful lover to a good woman and I have opened my heart to strangers because in this world, we need each other to survive.

You worked hard for your money and privileges. Perhaps, it is a right of inheritance but be that as it may, be ye kindhearted to one another. Of all the etiquette of human values, none equates with love.

Please be kind to family, friends, love ones and do right by your partner.

Ifyou cannot be kind to friends, then starngers have no hope with you.

I'll leave you with two songs to show you the importance of sincere love in friendship

LEAN ON ME - Bill Withers
I NEED YOU TO SURVIVE - Hezekiah Walker

I retract my earlier stance on owing people none

As a beneficiary of kindheartedness, be grateful & never talk down on people's effort by calling it little. The world is not nice and money is not easy to make. Do not forget those who helped you and extend this grace to others when you are privileged

Peace, Love and Spaghetti🍷