Thread by @Wizarab10

SEX/LIFE: My views in conformity with reality

Brad was a fantastic playboy who knew what to say, what to do, where to go and damn well how to fuck. He was unapologetically toxic and noncommittal but of course, the bad guys always wins because the rush is more pleasing than peace

Cooper is a nice guy. Perfect career, gentleman, intentional man, family values, faithful, dream husband and perfect father but of course the good guys get nothing.
This is no canon but it is what hold sway most times when a toxic ex/lover is an option

Can you have it all? Maybe yes/maybe no

But the goal of marriage isn't to have it all. The goal of marriage is to strive for healthy family structure in which you can heartily love, be vulnerable but safe and raise children successfully.

People rarely have it all & that is fact

Sex in Marriage

I have seen people say sexual compatibility is a myth but that is just self deceit. It is an absolute lie. You can't talk your way into sexual satisfaction. You need to experience it. Reports shows that sex is a top 3 reason for marital crisis.

When people pick celibacy and convince themselves they would have a perfect sex life if they communicate, it is convenient theoretically but factually, the body wants what it wants. You can't force yourself to be satisfied but you can endure or not depending on what matters more.

In Billie's case, Brad was the perfect lover. He gave her the rush, the orgasm, the exploration, the thrill, spontaneity till they had coital alignment - a sexual bond that goes beyond emotional attachment. This bond is why people are stuck with toxic partners or return to Exes.

Capricious as it might have been, Billie was bound to return to Brad. It was all written in her disposition. The marriage was in perfect pieces and she was trying too hard to hold on to the fragment of the home she she was lucky to have and didn't deserve.

Why did she return to Brad?

Women will 100 times forgive a toxic Ex who is commanding than a perfect lover who is weak. You have a higher chance of being forgiven for cheating than for being weak. Brad had a hold over her and Cooper was just too nice. Nice guys don't win.

Throw in the sex - it was perfect with Brad. Double crisis for Cooper. People talk about size and I agree in this context because it was projected as a factor for the sex they had but generally, it isn't always about size. Big penis are good for those who can handle it.

Not every woman can handle a big penis and if you are good in bed (read as long lasting) she would start begging you to cum because she is hurting or might just fold up because she can't take it anymore and for a guy, nothing is as terrible as cumless sex.

Big Dick Energy is perfect for someone and tribulation for another.

In this instance, Brad's cock was cocky and the sex was gelato. Cooper lost his sexual drive by focusing on what he thought mattered most - building a home and having a career.

His sexual absence gave Billie room to think of what she could have had with Brad. Bad enough, the sex was nothing close to what she had with Brad and Billie went on a vagina soul search - a longing she documented on her journal that only Brad can fill.

The fault of Cooper

Having read the journal, he should have ended the marriage. Like I always say, if you wait to catch her, you waited too long. But Cooper is a nice guy and nice guys learn the hard way. That journaling of hers is disrespectful & factually, counts as cheating.

He tried replicating everything her Ex did for her just to please her. Please don't do that. That is stupid. Will Smith is competing with a man that died 25 years ago. Don't compete with her Ex. A woman is not a mountain, she can be moved. Move her out of your life.

He stalked her Ex to find out what it was about him. Again, don't do that. If they are better, you feel insecure. If they are less, you feel insulted. There is no point.

A heart gone is gone forever. Accept it. That should be your only concern not if they still get in bed.

"You're the type of guy women screw in their 20s because you are wild & dangerous. You are fun till they get you out of their system. You are a placeholder till someone like me comes along. Someone real."
- Cooper to Brad

A real man🤦‍♂️. This whole quote is not a compliment!

Don't put yourself out there trying to rescue the damsel in distress. Just because she is in distress don't make her a damsel. There is no compliment in being a real man.

Don't be the B-grade consolation prize Cooper was.

Being rich and successful don't make you strong if you can't see your own value.

Be kind, do right by your partner, esteem your woman highly (you chose her), defend her honour in public, be a good father and a good husband BUT in so doing and more importantly, be strong - MANLY

In my 2nd year in Uni, my friend Kuzi did tell me - "You're a nice guy. Everybody likes you. If I had a sister, I would want you to be with her. You are the guy every lady wants when they are done with guys like us. They prefer to marry you"

But I knew I wasn't that guy.

I was single by choice. I was kindhearted because it is who I am but I also knew how to play the game. I just didn't want to. I also knew I would never rescue anyone from a toxic relationship or Ex. That is your cup of tea.

I knew what I wanted. It just wasn't time.

If you must be a Cooper, you must not be weak or vulnerable. Be firm and mean it. Do not swallow insult and never let infidelity slide. Don't go competing with a woman's Ex. Easier and better to send her away because if her heart is there, it is all over.

Billie always wanted to live. Sex is powerful. The thrill of orgasm overrode every abuse and toxicity she suffered from Brad.

I see guys promising to love a lady more than her toxic partner or Ex while begging to be accepted. You go promising heaven and earth for a YES.

Understand this. People accept the love they think they deserve. If she is with that toxic guy, it is because she wants it. That is what makes her happy.

You are not the rescue service and there is no soul mate anywhere. Pitch your tent elsewhere.

Cooper is a nice guy, he would be fine. Francesca has been waiting on the side-line and I hope he takes it

Billie is like many women - you have a good guy but you want to fuck someone else. For all the talk about wanting a good guy, many ladies don't value them. The street knows

I would stop here unless you have question or want to share. I hope this doesn't come as a surprise but here is letting you know that in real life, Billie broke up with her husband of 11 years for Brad whom she met on set.

So much for coital alignment.

Shout out to Sasha. She was everything a best friend should be and she killed her role. She is pretty and has a lovely accent. She reminded me of Issa Rae

The other wives at school? Miserable women want others to be miserable because misery loves company. Respect your good lover

I hope you enjoy the series if you haven't seen it and I would like to discuss it further with anyone.

Peace, Love and Spaghetti 🍷