Thread by @ResilienttHuman

Do you feel powerless and manipulated?

8 Foolproof Steps to Set Personal Boundaries

(Reclaim your power and space)

///THREAD\\\

A world gone mad with a deadly virus.

That's the premise of Sweet Tooth (I was watching it on Netflix).

So, a world not unlike our own.

But there's a twist.

The virus caused some babies to mutate.

Imagine babies with the wings of a heron

or with the quills of a porcupine...

These children were hunted mercilessly.

But one father chose to move away from this madness.

He went into the wilderness to raise his deer-hybrid son in a cabin.

He fenced off a section of the jungle and built his own beautiful world within.

And that's when it struck me...

Isn't it the same with personal boundaries?

They also keep the madness of the outer world away from your mental space.

They also keep your inner world beautiful.

So how do you go about setting personal boundaries?

Do what the dad did:

1. Scope Out the Inner Terrain

A boundary marks where you begin and the other person ends.

So how do you know where to place it?

Find out your:
- beliefs
- emotions
- feelings

What you can tolerate?

What makes you uncomfortable?

This is where you place your boundary.

2. Put up Some Signs

Now to put some signs on the boundary.

Let others (and yourself) know about them.

Don’t expect others to be mind readers.

When they have crossed a boundary, let them know.

This will make you uncomfortable.

But it gets easier as you do this more often.

3. "Trespassers Will be Shot"

Start by making a request.

- what's acceptable to you
- what's not acceptable

Then state the consequence if they are unable to keep your request.

A boundary has no use if there are no consequences.

4. Expect Pushbacks

People will push back on your boundary.

You have let them have their way with you forever.

But resist and hold fast.

Resist the urge to over-explain.

Identify the repeat offenders who don’t respect your boundaries.

Consider cutting them off if possible.

5. Monitor the Sensors

Your body knows when your boundaries are being crossed.

Pay attention to signs like:
- sweating
- clenching of fists
- tightening of jaws
- changes in heart rate
- tightness in the stomach or throat

It’s a wake-up call to retreat and regroup.

6. Decode the Message

Decode the message that your body sends you.

What's stressing you out?

- Is it something verbal?
- Is it something emotional or psychological?
- Is it something more physical or visceral?

What can you do about that?

What can you still control?

7. Start Small

Setting boundaries and enforcing them is a skill.

You get better with practice.

So start with something small that doesn't scare you.

Set it, state the consequences, and follow through.

See how good it feels.

Then graduate up to a new, more difficult one.

8. Adjust the Boundary

Boundaries are fluid.

Your mental terrain and your needs change as you grow.

So will your boundaries.

Get rid of the ones that are not serving you.

Set some new ones if you need them.

You are in complete charge of your choices.

TL;DR
1. Find out your beliefs, emotions, and feelings.
2. Let others (and yourself) know about them.
3. State the consequence.
4. Expect pushback
5. Pay close attention to the signs from your body.
6. Decode the message it sends.
7. Start small
8. Adjust the Boundary

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https://twitter.com/ResilienttHuman/status/1411746135157313536?s=19