Ultimate test of whether I like someone:
How do I feel after talking to them?
⚡️Energized or 🥱exhausted?
If you ever feel mentally bagged after meeting someone, it should set off your spidey sense.
In my experience, it's a sign that someone:
How do I feel after talking to them?
⚡️Energized or 🥱exhausted?
If you ever feel mentally bagged after meeting someone, it should set off your spidey sense.
In my experience, it's a sign that someone:
- Best case: they just aren't interested in the same things as you. It's a personality or energy mismatch. Not a fit to work together or be friends.
- Covertly or overtly wants something from you (a favour, investment, introduction, etc)
- Covertly or overtly wants something from you (a favour, investment, introduction, etc)
- They are being manipulative (dark triad personality - Psychopath, Narcissist, Machiavellian) and there is some cognitive dissonance or subtle lying or manipulation that your brain is picking up on subconsciously.
psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-sa…
psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-sa…
I find this to be one of the best screens for people.
I could have a candidate for a job who ticks every box and says everything right.
They could even have great references.
I could have a candidate for a job who ticks every box and says everything right.
They could even have great references.
But if I feel mentally exhausted after talking to them, it tells me there's something off and I always pass on working with them.
I speak from experience, unfortunately.
I have worked with psychopaths and narcissists a few times and there is no greater way to make your work (or personal) life hell than to bring one into the mix.
I have worked with psychopaths and narcissists a few times and there is no greater way to make your work (or personal) life hell than to bring one into the mix.
They are very hard to spot but here's a few key things that I like to watch out for to help me screen out dark triad personalities:
1. Hazy background lacking clear details
2. Use of flattery
3. Gift giving/favours that seem out of place (you don't know them well enough)
4. Lack of close friends/deep network (often have a very superficial network)
2. Use of flattery
3. Gift giving/favours that seem out of place (you don't know them well enough)
4. Lack of close friends/deep network (often have a very superficial network)
5. Lots of jumping between jobs
6. Subtly implying their last boss/business partner was a bad person and you shouldn't talk to them
6. Subtly implying their last boss/business partner was a bad person and you shouldn't talk to them
They are easily identified with a deep reference check—especially when you call the names they didn't give you—but trust your gut.
If you repeatedly feel bagged after meeting them, just steer clear.
If you repeatedly feel bagged after meeting them, just steer clear.
This is a lesson best learned by reading about others experiences. It's hard to imagine how bad it can be until you experience it.
Stay frosty out there, folks 👁️
Stay frosty out there, folks 👁️
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