R: YOU PUSSIFIED LEFTISTS CAN’T MAKE ME WEAR A MASK! THE PLANDEMIC IS A HOAX! IT’S NO WORSE THAN THE FLU! I WILL NOT BE BRAINWASHED BY THE DEEP STATE FAKE NEWS MEDIA! LIARS! LIARS! LIARS!

CDC: How do we get these people to take the vaccine

NRO: Maybe you should be nicer to them
ERICKSON: First Dr. Fauci said we didn’t need to wear masks, & LATER he said we did! How are people who refuse to listen to the CDC in any sort of good faith supposed to know who to trust?

D: That was over a year ago

E: AND IF GLOBAL WARMING IS REAL, THEN WHY IS IT COLD OUTSIDE
R: Clearly it is in your best interest to tailor your pro-vaccine message to reach as many of us as possible, whereas it is in our best interest to stick our fingers in our figurative ears and scream “FAKE NEWS!”

D: How is that in your best interest

R: I meant politically
BIDEN: The vaccine rollout is available in all 50 states with minimal long-term side effects

R: YOU CAN’T MAKE ME TAKE YOUR DEEP STATE VACCINE

⭐️ FALL, 2022 ⭐️

CNN: Outbreaks of Coronavirus variants continue in heavily-unvaccinated regions of the country

R: Biden failed LOL

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More from @Dreamweasel

17 Jul
I’m wondering which of your unspoken premises is less grounded in reality:

1. That Trump would do the right thing and urge his followers to become vaccinated

2. That there is a pro-vaccine message that would resonate with the “THE GOVERNMENT CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” crowd
Listen to the backlash against Dr. Fauci if you seriously think there’s a better technique for Telling Trumpers What They Don’t Want to Hear
As a counterexample, remember that Trump was an early advocate of hyroxycholoquine, a malaria medication that was only experimental in the treatment of the Coronavirus. The CDC never endorsed it (and warned of risks), but MAGAts were bullish because it was fully backed by Trump.
Read 4 tweets
16 Jul
Ah yes, the classic “It’s YOUR fault we’re acting like irresponsible children” argument we’ve heard so many times before
TRUMP: (says or does something insane)

DEMS: Jesus, that guy’s an idiot

FOX: THE DEMOCRATS THINK YOU’RE ALL IDIOTS!

GOP: Just for that, we’ll vote for Trump even harder

DEMS: But

NYT: Stop being so condescending, Democrats

TRUMP: (says or does something insane)
There was a Politico article last year which consisted of interviews with multiple Trump supporters in attendance at a Michigan gun show; it featured numerous permutations of this same observation: ⬇️
Read 4 tweets
13 Jul
THIS JUST IN: Dreamweasel Inexplicably One of World’s Wealthiest Men. Also: Moon Gone

PUBLIC: Hmmm... there is nothing suspicious about this at all
BOB: So where’d you get all that money?

ME: (wearing top hat & monocle) What money?

BOB: That swimming pool filled with thousand-dollar bills you’re building for your “Scrooge McDuck” party

ME: Oh, THAT money

BOB: yeah

ME: Er, I just invested wisely
BOB: Does this have anything to do with the moon being gone

ME: What are you suggesting

BOB: Well, it seems like an interesting coincidence

ME: What kind of crazy conspiracy would lead you to such a ridiculous conclusion

COURIER: Where should I park your new Lambroghini, sir
Read 4 tweets
8 Jul
You can’t just reclassify Facebook & Twitter as “government entities” because reasons
The “Big Tech” boogeyman is clearly intended to facilitate this confusion, but no.

Facebook & Twitter are simply the end result of the “free markets” conservatives have supported throughout our entire lives.
I also will note that Trump refrained from filing his lawsuits against Facebook & Twitter until AFTER his competing forum (by which I mean “blog”) crashed and burned.
Read 4 tweets
28 Jun
R: We authorize the Anti-CRT Task Force to remove all tigers from American neighborhoods

D: That seems alarmist

R: You’re pro-tiger?

D: No, but there are no tigers in our neighborhoods

R: Then why is our task force a problem? HUH?

D: sigh

R: (points at cat) Look! A tiger
D: That’s not a tiger; that’s a kittycat

R: Yes, but it has genetic similarities to tigers in its DNA

D: That doesn’t make it a tiger

R: You can’t be too careful! How can we subject our children to such a dangerous menace?

CAT: mrowr?

R: Quiet, you Marxist
R: So there are clearly tigers present in millions of homes, provided that a “tiger” is whatever I say it is

D: That sounds dishonest

R: Anything to avoid traumatizing our children

D: Why not just say that you’re coming for our cats

R: Surprisingly, people find that divisive
Read 4 tweets
26 Jun
Isn’t the entirety of modern conservatism based on inventing largely imaginary culture-war grievances so you can disingenuously claim you’re “punching back” at liberals
I mean, the GOP regularly claims to be “fighting back” against...

- critical race theory
- transgenders in public restrooms
- rioting, looting, etc

And of course, the rigged & corrupt election that inexplicably ousted the most unpopular President in American history from power.
I could go on...

- “cancel culture”
- a noun, a verb, Hunter Biden
- the Orwellian dystopia of mask requirements and vaccine passports to compensate for Dr. Fauci’s massive coverup of the sinister Chinese origin of the Coronavirus, which incidentally was no worse than the flu
Read 5 tweets

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