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darth™

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3 Aug, 6 tweets, 1 min read

https://twitter.com/SweeneyABC/status/1422537706173775875

do all planes just carry a bunch of duct tape

https://twitter.com/SweeneyABC/status/1422537706173775875

also do u say duct tape or duck tape

if u are sitting at your desk whispering 'duckt...tape.....ductape...ductktape...' u are my kind of panda

also was duct tape your dads magical can-do anything most important tool in his toolbox or was it WD-40

https://twitter.com/SweeneyABC/status/1422537706173775875

also did any body else get total 'austin powers doctor evil' vibes from the whole 'my parents are worth two million fucking dollars' thing

https://twitter.com/SweeneyABC/status/1422537706173775875

i just checked and i have no duct tape nor duck tape all i have is two rolls of bright blue 'painters tape' like i was going to actually repaint the kitchen walls at some point lol

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darth™

@darth

4 Aug

https://twitter.com/washingtonpost/status/1422873476734595076

https://twitter.com/washingtonpost/status/1422873476734595076

they could have merely loosened mask requirements in april when things were looking better but they went with the grand and performative bans on mask mandates to look tough and placate the idiots

the toxic politicization of health policy

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darth™

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3 Aug

https://twitter.com/TSA_Gulf/status/1421858864807489543

give me the self confidence and optimism of whoever tried to carry on the chain saw

https://twitter.com/TSA_Gulf/status/1421858864807489543

https://twitter.com/TheRealWBTC/status/1422659551321497600

“i am sorry sir but the carry on limit is two juggling pins u will have to leave one of the juggling pins behind”

https://twitter.com/TheRealWBTC/status/1422659551321497600

https://twitter.com/TheRealWBTC/status/1422659551321497600

if it makes any body feel safer i believe that is not an actual hand grenade but merely a hand gun disguised as a hand grenade

https://twitter.com/TheRealWBTC/status/1422659551321497600

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darth™

@darth

3 Aug

https://twitter.com/ChelseaCirruzzo/status/1421122682809200640

i am kind of curious about this as well tbh also not for a story but also please do not DM me

https://twitter.com/ChelseaCirruzzo/status/1421122682809200640

https://twitter.com/vanweezer/status/1422568122511503360

i opened my DMs once and it was like the wild west out there

https://twitter.com/vanweezer/status/1422568122511503360

https://twitter.com/Sir_Matt68/status/1422568945333178370

california has this and is just waiting for apple to release iOS 15!

https://twitter.com/Sir_Matt68/status/1422568945333178370

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darth™

@darth

30 Jul

https://twitter.com/BleacherReport/status/1421197963800444933

who did they give up tho

https://twitter.com/BleacherReport/status/1421197963800444933

wait
was it me

do they have good french fries in chicago

Read 6 tweets

darth™

@darth

29 Jul

https://twitter.com/aanand/status/1420749514055503874

why don't i get dreams like this

https://twitter.com/aanand/status/1420749514055503874

does any body else get really stupid dreams

last week i dreamed i was going to work and realized i had forgotten to put the top on the thermos of coffee i carry so i started to walk really slowly to avoid spilling the coffee and that was literally the entire dream i woke up