Thread by @EduEngineer

This is a thread about the dangers of narcissism.

This is not about casual narcissism suffered by people coddled a little much in childhood. This is about a more serious defect...

Have you ever read a news report about some man or woman who killed their kids or their whole family? Most all of us have, but perhaps we grimace with disgust, think "WTF", and quickly let the story drain from our minds. I did that for years.

But at some point, I read an article in an old anonymous blog called The Last Psychiatrist (worth looking up) that made me think deeper and read more. A personal experience made me dig even deeper...

We might simply dismiss the man or woman who kills their family as a "psychopath", but that's not likely correct. The dumb psychopaths who kill are mostly in prison, and were never capable of engineering a life of pleasant-looking family portraits.

The high IQ career-oriented psychopaths typically know how to better engineer life than to find themselves in such a position as to risk everything on such an illogical act.

But empathic people...don't kill their families. Obviously. So, what goes wrong that would make anyone kill their family?

It's about the commitment to the lie: the fake life.

Some of these people have secret other relationships or entire families. Some lost their careers and spent all their savings for two or three years carrying on a charade without their spouses or children ever knowing. There are other scenarios, but you get the point...

Their failures are unacceptable images, but they are incapable of owning up. It's an absolute mental barrier. The only solution is to eliminate any reception of the truth, meaning to kill those closest to them.

Does this remind you of anything at all that's been going on these past 18 or so months? Has nothing crossed your radar that didn't pass the sniff test, but could only be explained by...a serious psychological commitment to a [the] lie?

Don't worry so much that you cannot figure out what went wrong with the system, or why deeply narcissistic people are what they are. It's hard to step into other people's minds. Just be aware of the model. It can tell you a lot. It can help you see through the bullshit.

And use that knowledge to protect yourself. After all, the reason your mind wants to resist full recognition of the truth about other people is that...your nation is your family. A larger "Dunbar number ring" certainly, but there is shared experience and trust to some degree.

And you looked for ways to find the best in the leaders [on your team] and for many people, that is now shattered, too. Few in power are trustworthy. The structure is not well set up to select for honesty. Hence, it selects primarily for those committed to the lies. Narcissists.