Thread by @_PorcelainBlue

I just think...killed-my-own-heart-to-survive bodyguard wwx is sexy..... in debt and devoted until his master is dead

Maybe he was just a bodyguard to the Wens??? Maybe he took the place of Zhao zhuliu... but kind of like Wen Qing he manages to manipulate wen xu decently, trying to circumvent the most of his cruelty

He's stronger than Wen xu, of course. Has to be, otherwise he wouldn't be a good bodyguard. So he actually sits nicely in the cloud recesses, trying to absorb all the info cuz he actually really likes studying but his master is kind of a bitch

Wen xu gets into trouble for sneaking alcohol in so he sends wwx to get punished in his stead. Lwj is fuming and about to go give Wen xu a talking to about humility or whatever, but wwx just grasps at the hem of his sleeve

'Please, er-gongzi. I would prefer the beating here by your hands than later at his, if you push the issue." He murmurs, quiet and imploring. Lwj hates this, but he will not subject an innocent peer to more punishment. He pulls his blows as much as he can.

Wwx takes Wen xu's punishment well. Kneeling, back beautifully straight. He recites the rules dutifully and lwj hates this perversion of their precepts. But then wwx stands and bows, back bleeding, and smiles at him in thanks.

"How can you thank me?" Lwj asks, jaw tight.

Wwx smiles again. His lips are cracked.
"Er-gongzi, only a free man can live as uprightly as you. The rest of us must be like bamboo, and sway with the storm." He teases, and is gone.

The thing is. Lan wangji has always thought that the world was depraved, that everyone could and should follow the rules and morals closely. He feels foolish for failing to consider that good men can be under duress, that not everyone has the power He has, as second young master.

(OK back)
Anyway, lwj keeps an eye out for thr Wen wuxian, after that. Notices him trailing after Wen xu, his loping grace at odds with his masters stomping stride. Wwx seems to be treated both well and terribly

He has freedoms, breaks from Wen xu when young master Wen wants alone time with his girls. He eats at the same table, is allowed to attend classes and join in on activities, but Wen xu also sends him to get whipped for every infraction he himself earns

After one such night, wwx is on his hands and knees, breathing harshly.
Once the disciples leave, uneasy, lwj kneels to help him up.

"Heavens, my master sure knows how to misbehave, doesn't he?" Wwx pants

"Can you stand?" Lwj asks, gingerly placing a hand on his shoulder.

Blood is seeping into the white of wwx's undershirt.

Wwx heaves himself up.
"I'm alright," he says, listing to the side.

Lwj makes a decision.

"Come with me." He says, and drags wwx bodily out of the discipline hall. Wwx sputters, but does not try to wrest free from lwj's grasp on his wrist.

"Ah, Lan zhan!" (He had started calling lwj that, after one too many conversations that involved lwj disciplining him)

"Wen gongzi will be expecting me," he says. He's not actually afraid. Wwx trusts lwj. He really does.

"Tell him you angered me, and recieved additional punishment. He will believe it."

Wwx laughs, a little affronted, very fond.

Lwj leads him to the cold springs, and gestures at it, a little helplessly.

"It will soothe your wounds," he says.

Wwx blinks. Are lwj's ears a little pink? It's hard to tell.

"Aww, er-gege, do you do this for every disciple you whip?" He teases, even as he strips

Lwj makes a strangled noise. "What are you doing?"

Wwx snorts. "Taking a dip, gege. I don't have that much time before my dear Master is done with wang-guniang, and I don't want him to find put ive been enjoying this instead of getting beaten all night, do i?"

He takes off everything- no point in being shy when lwj has been beating him (consensually! Kindly, even!) For weeks now.

Also, he really doesn't want Wen xu to know about this place. He feels protective of it, that lwj would show it to him.

"Ai, where are you going, er-gongzi! Surely you're not going to leave me here in your back hills without a chaperone!"

Lwj, who has been silently trying to escape the smooth expanses of wwx's naked body, feeezes.

He absolutely shouldn't leave wwx here alone in the middle of the night. He is with the Wen, and technically shufu told him to keep an eye on them. He turns, steeling himself to Not. Look. Down.

He looks down.

He hisses, a quick indrawn breath through his teeth as he registers the litany of scars all over wwx. A brand, over his chest, of the Wen crest. A myriad other burn marks, like someone had tapped ash out of a pipe onto his skin.

He is beaufiful.

Wwx smiles at him, even as he yelps at the cold of the water as he slowly submerges himself in the spring.

"Ah, please forgive this one for marring your view with his ugly body," wwx says, unselfconscious.

"Will you stay, Lan zhan?" He says, softer this time.

Lwj hesitates, but eventually folds himself down to a seat on the ground. Wwx swims over, resting his arms on a rock as he peers at lwj.

The haphazard pile of his hair is coming undone. Wwx huffs, reaching up to stabilize it with a hand.

"Wen wuxian, come here," lwj says, softly.

Wwx startles, but obliges, one hand holding his hair up as he makes his way closer.

"My family name was wei." He says settling in front of lwj, back facing him as directed.

"If you'd like, you can call me wei ying. I'm not- I don't like to consider myself a Wen, even if they did pluck me off the streets."

Silence.

"Wei Ying, then." Lwj says, as he reaches to take wwx's hair into his own hands.

Wwx jumps, but a hand on his shoulder holds him still. The hands are combing through his hair, getting the snarls out, twisting his hair into a neat bun. He can hear a slight rustling of lwj's sleeves, and then a pin is being slid into his hair, and lwj let's go of him with a hum

"There. It will not be wet, now." Lwj says, and steadfastly does not meet wwx's eyes.

Wwx reaches a hand up tentatively to feel at the impeccable knot of his hair, the simple wooden pin thats holding it together. It really is quite sturdy.

When wwx's back has stopped stinging, he makes his way out of the spring. Lwj averts his eyes from the sight of a naked and dripping Wei Ying standing around waiting to air dry.

When wwx pulls his robes back on, he reaches up to pull the pin from his hair, letting it fall

He ties his hair up again with his ribbon, and holds the pin out to lwj.

"Thanks for letting me borrow this, Lan zhan. Here."

Lwj makes no move to take it.

"Keep it. I have others," he says, and turns to walk the path back to the dormitories.

Wwx should protest. He looks at the pin in his hands. It's wooden, and unadorned. All the gusulan disciples probably have one to keep their hair up when in the spring. There's a faint carving of clouds on the wood, a few pits and dents. It looks well used. Well loved.

He slips it into his robes, throat tight.

Wen xu doesn't seem to notice that he's not as injured as he should be, so wwx dutifully winces and limps a little when Wen xu prods at him for fun.

The days seem.. fairly peaceful. He takes to running his fingers over the hairpin lwj gave him, daydreaming about being free.

He assumes the summer will end, and they'll go back to qishan and he'll go back to being Wen wuxian, errand and wen-dog till either he or wen xu dies. It's been nice, though, to have made a friend. He likes lwj a lot. Maybe, in a different life, they could have been equals.

But his plans to quietly fade into obscurity in qishan and die an ignoble death while fondly remembering his first and only friend and love lwj is, of course, thwarted.

Wwx is good enough at acting insubordinate and rude and flirtatious that wen xu assumes that they are more similar than not. For all the suffering wen xu inflicts on wwx, wwx is pretty sure he is favored.

And being favored means wen xu is careless around him

He is in the midst of tuning out another coarse diatribe about the female disciples when he hears wen xu say "of course, when we burn this place down, we'll have our pick. Even you could have a few of the girls, after im done with them, eh? If you kill enough Lans, that is."

He forces a smile. "Wen gongzi is too kind to this one," he says. "Wen zhongzhu tasked gongzi with this?" He asks, modulating his voice to be a little awe inspired, even as his hands are shaking behind his back.

"Of course. Father was very clear. By the end of summer the Lan will be no more."

Wwx thinks about stabbing his charge. Let's the bloodlust show on his face.

"Perfect. That Second Jade won't know what's coming. I'd like to pay him back for all the whipping he gave me,"he says

Wen xu barks a laugh, and slaps him on the back in approval.

Wwx goes to bed, and starts planning furiously. He needs to find a way to warn the Lans without getting caught by the Wens, nor getting killed by the Lans for being suspicious and untrustworthy.

He has no idea if whatever is between him and lwj is strong enough to make lwj believe him, and it's not like he as time to take him aside and speak to him in private.

A talisman message? Too easy to intercept, and he is with Wen xu almost 24/7

He waits, biding his time. Soon enough Wen xu asks him to leave him for a shichen, retreating into his rooms with one of his serving girls.

Wwx saunters deliberately into the west gardens, where the chrysanthemums are still budding. Lwj is usually out and about at this time.

He waits till lwj is rounding a corner, before deliberately bending down to rip a bunch of chrysanthemum buds from the plant.

A bunch of outraged gasps follow his actions, and sure enough, lwj is sweeping towards him, expression stormy.

"Ah, Lan er-gongzi! What a pleasant surprise." He drawls, internally begging lwj to play along.

Lwj narrows his eyes. Wei Ying hasn't called him er-gongzi for a while now. He grits his teeth.

"What is the meaning of this, wen wuxian," he asks, controlled.

"Ah, gongzi, if the Wen clan sees something they like, who is to stop us?" He crowds lwj, leaning close to leer at his perfect face.

"Lan zhan, please, pretend I said something awful and drag me off," he breathes, as he taps the side of the chrysanthemum onto lwj's cheek.

The hilt of bichen slams into his cheek, and wwx topples to the side.

"Wen wuxian, you will come with me to the discipline hall for the rest of this shichen," says lwj, every inch the head disciple of the Lan clan.

Lwj's grip is tight on wwx's wrist. The both of them are too tense. As they near the hall, they pass Lan xichen. Wwx shoots him a Look, and somehow, wonder of wonders, lxc follows along smoothly, perhaps intrigued enough that his baby brother is dragging someone around like this.

Once in the room, lwj shuts the door and releases wwx. Wwx massages his wrist, his face unusually serious as he regards the twin jades.

"Is our privacy garaunteed, Lan zhan?" He asks, dropping the act. Lan xichen's eyebrows raise.

Lwj slaps a privacy talisman on the back of the door, turning to face wwx.

"Wei Ying, what was that about?"

Lxc stares at his baby brother now. "Wangji, what is going on? Why is Wen gongzi here?"

"Wei ying?" Lwj asks again.

"You might not believe me, but the Wen clan is planning to attack GusuLan."

Xichen takes a step forward.
"Why should we believe someone who belongs to the Wen clan?" He asks, perfectly polite.

"Look, you don't have to believe me. But I have to try. All I know is that by summers end, the cloud recesses are meant to burn" Wwx says, stubborn, desperate.

"You will be in danger, if this gets out," lwj says, brows furrowed.

He believes wwx, then. Wwx sags with relief.
"I'll figure something out. Don't worry about me, Lan zhan. You have to let the other clans know. I think my sect leader is going to start a war."

Lwj looks at him, then his brother for a long moment. He nods.

"Okay, I have to get back to Wen gongzi soon." Wwx says, handing the bamboo rod to lwj.

Xichen stares in horror as he watches his younger brother flail at a boy xichen is sure that he is half in love with.

When wwx stumbles off, he moves forward to grab at his brother.

"Do you trust him, wangji?" He asks.

Lwj just nods.

"We must tell shufu"

Lqr, as it turns out, has been suspicious of the wen clan opening hostilities on the jianghu for quite a while. He interrogates lwj on how trustworthy this Wen wuxian is.

"Wangji, shufu trusts your judgement. An overabundance of caution should serve us well."

Discreetly, senior disciples are called back from night hunts. Wards are updated, and the whole Lan clan approaches the end of summer with grim determination.

"What will happen to Wei ying?" Lwj asks.

Lqr strokes his beard. "If you are sure of his character, then his only fate remaining in thr wen clan is death. Either by our hand or theirs."

Lwj sits back in horror at the thought.

"Would he defect?" Lxc asks.

Lwj startles. Defecting is inherently a dishonorable act- but to secede from a dishonorable clan.. perhaps.

He would have to speak to Wei Ying. He remembers when wwx spoke to him of free men. He does not want to be another yoke around wwx's neck.

(Pausing here for a bit!)

They do not get a chance to speak. The end of summer comes, chrysanthemums blooming as the Wen clan stands at the gates of the cloud recesses.

As one, the disciples of the Lan draw their swords. Obviously prepared, with the full strength of the clan ready and waiting, GusuLan does not fall.

Wwx is fighting. He is in wen red, after all. But he fights with the flat of his blade, his prodigious skill just good enough to subdue and knock out his classmates instead of killing them. Wen xu is furious, slashing away at everything and anything he can reach.

He knows he's been betrayed. Wwx has been trying to outrun this particular end for himself for quite some time, now. But wen xu finds him, and lunges at him.

Its an ugly scuffle. Wwx is stronger, yes, but he's been fighting for longer than his coward of a master.

Wen xu is spitting with rage.

"You dog," he snarls, pinning wwx down into the loose gravel. The air is thick with smoke.

"/this/ is how you repay the clan that raised you? I'll gut you like the pig you are!"

The glint of Wen xu's sword isn't as beautiful as lwj's, wwx thinks

He braces for the slide of a sword in his gut, and shuts his eyes. Hopefully Wen xu will lower his guard enough for wwx to kill him after he gets stabbed.

No pain comes. Instead, he feels the wet splatter of blood against his face. He opens his eyes, confused.

There is Lan wangji, tall and lovely like an avenging angel, bichen thrust through Wen xu's torso like a skewer through those roasted mushroom kebab things that the Lan clan serves on Fridays.

His master makes a gurgling sound.

Lwj sends a fission of spiritual energy down the length of his sword, and Wen xu gives a last lurch before he dies and slides off bichen, right onto wwx.

"Wei Ying," lwj says, and shoves Wen xu off of him.

"Lan zhan," wwx says, warily. Are they enemies now? So much is unclear.

"Wei Ying. Wen wuxian must die." Lwj says, eyes serious, pleading.

Wwx lurches.

"Ah. Lan zhan. I suppose that's what I deserve for serving the wrong clan." His heart is tight. He had thought.. well.

Lwj takes hold of wwx's shoulders.
The sounds of battle are tapering off now.

"Wei Ying. You misunderstand me. Strip." Lwj says, tugging at his red outer robe.

"Wha?" Wwx manages, as he is stripped down to his white undershirts in the early autumn night. He shivers.

And ah, is that Lan zhan's blue over robe draped over his shoulders? Lan zhan's quick hands divest him of his red ribbon, his red bracers.

"Wen wuxian is dead now, killed in battle." Lwj says, looking him dead in the eye. "Will Wei Ying remain in the cloud recesses?" He asks.

Wwx is bleeding into lwj's lovely pale robes. He's a disgraced clan-betrayer, nothing more than a servant. He doesn't deserve-whatever this is.

"Lan zhan, I don't- I can't?"
Lwj looks at him patiently.

"You saved hundreds of lives by telling us of the attack. I have spoken to shufu. GusuLan would grant you amnesty, if you.. if you would trust us with your care."

Lwj looks uncharacteristically hesitant.

"Wei Ying. I would like.. if you stayed."

Wwx nods faintly. He is not good enough of a man to deny himself this. Safe harbour, proximity to lwj.

So what if people will look at him with distrust? So what if that makes him dishonorable?

"Okay," he says, faintly, and lets lwj usher him towards the main hall.

He's not expecting Lan xichen, Lan qiren, and a handful of desciples waiting for him. He kneels before them, and waits.

"Wei wuxian," Lan qiren barks. Ah, Lan zhan must have told him.

"GusuLan is in debt to you." He says, and wwx jerks upright in shock.

"Ah, xiansheng, please. I didn't-"

"Wangji judged right, and your warnings were true. The Wen clan would have burned gusuLan to the ground, without your forewarning."

Lan qiren bows.
Lan xichen bows.
Lan zhan, and the other disciples bow.

Wwx squawks.

He can't very well go around the whole room pulling everyone up, but it really is very surreal.

When the Lan raise from their bows, everyone sits.

"GusuLan would like to offer shelter and amnesty. In exchange for your loyalty and honor, we would claim you as our own."

In other words, Wen ruohan would have no claim to him. Granted, the moment wen xu died, wwx's life was forfeit.

Wrh is not the sort of man who notices the faces of his men. It would be.. laughably easy, to dissappear.

"The name of Wei is still to dangerous as of right now, xiansheng." he says.

"If it is acceptable... this one requests to go by Lan Ying."

A pause. "Acceptable. You will report for duty tomorrow. Wangji, you will be in charge of Lan Ying from now."

And so he is.

The cleanup from the battle is hard work, but ironically wwx is very good at handling dead bodies, and he treats them with enough care that the icy atmosphere of the other disciples seems to thaw, a little.

Lwj and Lan Ying get to spend a Lot more time together, now that they are of the same sect, and wwx doesn't have to pretend to be be asshole anymore.

He finds a place for himself, no longer a servant, not quite a disciple.

(Pausing here again)

I'm back! Here's the top of the thread if that's necessary

https://twitter.com/_PorcelainBlue/status/1427680664745254916?t=IgVKP7DvdCQxnkClv6xhzQ&s=19

The war isn't called the sunshot campaign. It's just the war. Thwarted at gusu the Wens retreat to qishan to regroup.

They played their hand too quick, and now all of the jianghu know of wrh's designs

Wwx and lwj are dispatched to qinghe, where they meet with nie mingjue, who is spearheading the efforts.

Nmj sizes him up.
"You betrayed your old clan. Whose to say you won't betray us?" He asks, not unkindly.

Wwx bows.

"Nie zhongzhu. I betrayed the Wen because they was going to kill innocents. I would be dead, but Lan er-gongzi saved me from being gutted by my master. I think it is fair to say I am no longer a Wen to any party."

A pause.

"If nie zhongzhu will not harm innocents, then there is nothing to fear from me."

Nie huaisang laughs behind his fan.

"Messaged recieved, Lan gongzi."

The Intel he provides holds true. Of course it does, because he's not lying.

He has a good memory for details, and is friendly with most of the nightless city staff. He may not have been allowed in the war rooms, but the staff always gossips.

Which is to say, he doesn't know who Xue yang is. He doesn't know about the experiments in resentful energy.

What he does know is the complaints of a dozen eunuchs and maids who have been called to dispose of bodies, of rags of clothing.

He knows where the food is sourced from, the paths the kitchen staff take. Which stablehands are kind to their charges, and which are not. Which of the guards have a stash of wine for long nights on watch duty.

The Intel he provides grants him some level of freedom, in qinghe. He and Lan zhan are to be sent on small missions, information gathering and sabotage. But for now, qinghe is their home base.

He spends his free time training on the Lan sword forms.

He's wandering around a copse of trees, admiring the qinghe elms and willows, when he hears the sound of a scuffle. He hurries to the source, and sees -

Meng Yao, pushed up against a tree, a general or some other higher rank disciple with his hand on his throat.

The thing is, wwx likes meng Yao. The low born need to watch out for each other, you know?

And meng Yao is /smart/, and also never gives wwx shit for being a traitor snake whatever, which is nice.

So wwx thinks he can be forgiven when he steps in, yanks the guy off meng Yao and grips meng yao's wrist tight enough that he drops his hidden dagger.

"Lan-gongzi!" Meng Yao stammers.

"Ah, a-Yao! I've changed names so often I'll forget that I'm being called if you call me that! You can call me a-ying, if you want!" He says cheerfully as he lowers into a brawl stance.

These guys definitely picked on meng Yao because of his relatively weak constitution, after all.

Lucky for him, wwx is pretty damn strong. He's spent a lifetime breaking up fights in qishan.

He lets the guy get one punch in, just for believability.

Then, he lunges.

Nie huaisang and nie mingjue look.. pretty unimpressed.

Wwx drags three cultivators in, bound in rope, mouths sealed shut (thanks, Lan zhan!) Into the main hall.

"Whats this, Lan ying?" Nmj asks archly. He frowns when he notices meng Yao, and his general state.

Wwx bows neatly.

"Nie zhongzhu. This one was admiring your western forest when I came across these three harassing meng-gongzi. I took it upon myself to step in, but I accept any punishment for overstepping."

Nice and polite, and now meng Yao will probably not get in trouble.

"A-yao?" Nmj asks.

Meng Yao hesitates."it's no matter, zhongzhu. It was kind of Lan Ying to intercede, but it is nothing so major."

Nmj turns to wwx.
"Why did you beat up my general?"
"Your general was saying some pretty disgusting things, zhongzhu."

He nods at Lan zhan, and their lips are unsealed.

"-nothing but a jumped up son of a whore, and a traitor b-"

Lan zhan narrows his eyes, looking at nie mingjue.

"Lan Ying, I thank you for helping me take out the garbage."

Wwx shivers. He's never seen nmj quite that angry. Meng Yao is staring at his sect leader with very wide eyes.

Nie huaisang snaps his fan shut and gestures at the rest of them to join him for tea, fussing over meng yao's disheveled robes.

"Shouldn't we stop nie zhongzhu?" Meng Yao asks.
He gets a thwack on the head with a fan.

"Why would we stop da-ge? You really don't think he'd defend you? You're his second in command, for God's sake." Nhs sighs and pushes a bowl of peanuts at him.

Meng Yao flushes.
Eats a peanut.

Meng Yao remains faithfully as the second in command by nie mingjue's side. Wwx takes to pestering him when he can. In return, meng Yao tells him when the training grounds are free, and who to ask in the kitchens for extra food. It works, for them.

The war begins in earnest. In this world, xue yang does not make it to Jin guangshan, or wen ruohan. In this world the war is a war, fought in flesh and blood.

Lwj and wwx are sent to take out enemy outposts under cover of night.

Lwj would protest the dishonorable nature of assassinations, but in truth, his worldview has been shifting since he first punished Wei Ying, so many months ago.

Wwx is currently fussing over lwj.
"Aiyah. It's so weird seeing you not in white, hanguang-jun" he teases.

It really is strange. His Lan zhan, saviour, benefactor, friend. Clad in black robes that make the paleness of his skin even more stark. Wwx wants to mess him up, wants to protect him from any and all harm.

Lan xichen pulls him aside before he departs.

"Lan Ying. Protect my brother," he says, a firm hand on wwx's bicep.

He nods. He's been a bodyguard his whole life. Lwj will not come to harm under his watch.

He thinks of Wen xu, a lifetime ago, as he watched lwj across their campfire. He remembers when he decided to be who he had become, brutal, efficient. A warm shield to protect a more important life.

He has been okay with that. He thinks he can be useful, to lwj.

"Wei Ying," lwj says, nudging at him.
He jerks, breaking from his reverie to accept a bowl of gruel.

He murmurs his thanks, and they eat in a comfortable silence.

Tomorrow, they will slaughter soldiers. But tonight. Tonight is still peaceful.

When he's done eating he sets his bowl aside.

"You know. I probably now some of the guys were going to attack tomorrow." He sighs.

"I am a traitor, huh?" He huffs.

Its not like he wasn't aware of that, but. It would be nice, he thinks, to walk that broad and open path. But it doesn't matter. Traitor. Assassin. If he can be of use to lwj, if he could cleave himself to this man, maybe- maybe it would be alright.

The last of the Wen outpost guards slumps to the floor, neck slit. Wwx flicks suibian, cleaning his sword with a charge of spiritual energy.

He slumps against a post. Across the way, lwj is sliding bichen into its sheath. He comes to where wwx is leaning.

"Wei Ying. Are you hurt?" He asks. He's so quiet.

Wwx peers at him, then shakes his head. His side is aching, and he's got a few sluggish cuts on him, but-

"Lan zhan! You're hurt?" He scrambles forward.

Lwj shakes his head, but lets wwx push him onto a bench and tug at his robes. The war has eroded much of his defences, and Wei Ying has eroded the rest. He lets himself have this, Wei Ying's warm concern pressing at his ribs.

"Shit, shit," wwx is muttering, ripping into his own sleeve to press a cloth against the sluggishly bleeding gash.

"Wei ying," lwj says, softly, firmly. He takes wwx's hands in his, stilling their movement.

"It is fine."

"It's not fine! Lan zhan, I was supposed to keep you safe, you're not supposed to be hurt-"

He struggles against lwj, mind reeling.

Bur lwj pulls him up, until he's trapped, kneeling on the bench to avoid pressing up against lwj's wound, held tight by his hands.

Lwj holds wwx still, pressing into his wrists. They're both covered in blood. Lwj's robes are parted and pooled at his waist, and wwx is warm and trembling in his arms.

"Wei Ying, it's okay," he says. "I am unharmed, and you are alright. That is enough."

There are tears in wwx's eyes. "Lan zhan, you don't understand-"

"Wei Ying. You are not responsible for my safety. Do not bind yourself to me like this," he says, heart aching.

"What am I, then? If not your servant, or your guard- Lan zhan," he begs, voice cracking.

"What am i? How can I be by your side?"

Lwj soothes him, hauls him close, bleeds on him. Cards his hands through Wei ying's hair, blood streaked.

"You are my Wei Ying," Lwj says, resolutely and gently, and then he kisses him.

Wwx stiffens for a moment, and then melts into it, his breaths hitching in little sobs.

"Be mine, Wei Ying," lwj breathes against his lips. "Be mine, and yours as well."

"Yours," wwx agrees, mouthing at lwj's lips.

He understands, with a soft of hazy recognition what lwj is asking.

Asking him to split that line of belonging- given over to somebody in love, in duty, in service-

Almost exactly like what the has been doing, but fundamentally different.

Belonging with, not belonging to.

If he could love lwj- really love him-

Kneel in exultation, in devotion but never chained, never owned.

He slides down to the floor, onto his knees even as he leans up and up, to grasp at lwj's shoulders, to pull him down to meet his mouth in desperation.

"A-ying," lwj murmurs, petting at his face, tucking his hair behind his ears.

He tilts up, eyes swollen and puffy and face streaked with not and blood and grime.

"I love you, Lan zhan." He says, and feels his chest loose, all the cobwebs shaken out and swept away.

"I know, a-ying. I love you, too." Lwj says, bending down to plant a firm kiss on his brow, on his eyelids, on his nose.

Lwj smiles at him, a tiny, breathtaking tilt of his lips.

"Okay," he breathes.

He will need time, to adjust and recalibrate the axis of his being. But he won't be alone. Lan wangji will be there, and there will be a war to be won, and then peace to construct.

And then maybe they can go back to gusu, where he can become Lan Ying for real.

FIN

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Thanks for reading, everyone! I started out simply thinking of a wwx like a quiet knife, something owned and used for the Wens, and then I ended up writing about his self worth issues. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyways they win the war, nmj becomes xiandu, bc meng Yao is there with him

And wangxian goes home to gusu to have lots of consensual and sexy disciplining sex about it. The end. 🥰

Top of thread for organisation purposes

https://twitter.com/_PorcelainBlue/status/1427680664745254916?t=zTY-SWREOjFw9ywCXtTuGA&s=19