it turns out running in the surf makes me obscenely happy. even just 25 minutes / 1.5 miles! i am happy i get to be alive and do these things, happy for a mile i couldn't run a few months ago.
sorry i know this is gross but i havent felt this happy in about two years
it is so stupid and annoying that exercise works wonders for your mood but IT DOES
anyone who tells you to exercise for weight loss is probably a scamming miserable liar, but to feel happier/more embodied/grounded/stronger? yes. last week was 6 months since my first run and it's changed me in some pretty big ways!
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that time a mob gang raped a concubine to death and her owner dismembered her body and sent it to the rest of the tribes to incite revenge and then they did a genocide
1. @briebriejoy did not say this would be a convo about deradicalization; I wouldnt have agreed to it 2. I asked to change the subject many times!! 3. I also asked her not to publish it 4. Fuck you for saying my anger at Nazis that have targeted my family is performative
I am beyond furious at this disingenuous presentation, these glib clips, and frankly, a facetious, ill-informed and damaging Trojan horse of an interview. I deeply regret doing it, not bc I'm ashamed of what I said, but because it was premised on false comity and lies.
i broke. i smoked. what a horrible embarrassment this has been. and a waste of time and energy. i am so ashamed. if i ever try this again instead of just dying of emphysema im damn sure keeping it off twitter. 😭
I am so sad. It feels good and I am so sad.
On the plus side now I know two things:
Anticipate at least 8 days of feeling the worst you have felt in your life. Probably weeks or months of abyssal despair. I look forward to Horrible Day 9.
Also, going from 0 exercise to running ~10 mi a week was so easy compared to this.