Thread by @stevecusswords

Ted Lasso S2E8.

"Multi Generation Transmission Process" is one of the 8 core concepts of Systems Theory.

We all inherit asset and liability traits from our family of origin. What isn't processed is transmitted. Differentiation is most difficult within families.

1/

Roy is on a journey of making sense of what he has inherited and what he wants to pass down. His vulnerable chat with Phoebe is (IMO) up there with the Dart Scene from S1 as one of the great TL scenes.

2/

Roy grapples with sharing the worst of himself with her. She blesses the best of him and he is able to receive it because he has been on a multi episode journey of self reflection and opening his heart. Roy is moving from detached to differentiation and emotionally connected.
3/

One aspect of Differentiation I am currently exploring is how reality or 'the truth' helps us clarify our values and convictions. Ie, differentiation isn't simply stating who we are, it is also the capacity to measure what we think with reality.

4/

Roy's chat with the teacher is a good example of Roy sifting his values and convictions through the lens of the truth.

The truth ALWAYS sets us free.

The Roy Kent Effect, as it turns out, can have a negative effect on children.

5/

Roy's chat with Phoebe stunned me as he differentiated between the required language of an athlete vs Phoebe's dream to be a vet.

6/

It is this very journey, the work Keely has done, Roy's chat with the teacher, Ted's emotional connection to Roy, all of it, that frees Roy from his family script to see a new way that culminates in a genuine move of compassion toward Jamie. A beautiful and true moment.

7/

Jamie's only option in the terrible moment with his dad is 'severe cutoff.' Severe cutoff is a common reaction to family transmission and Jamie does it in a harsh, but needed way. Yes, Dad was drunk, but yes, Dad escalated in front of Jamie's peers.

8/

Beard relieves the anxiety by helping Jamie carry it. Impressive, how the whole team allowed the situation without rescuing or shrinking the anxiety. Impressive that Beard and Roy stepped in to help carry it.

Ted couldn't. He was too flooded. Ted went into self care.

9/

The beauty of the show - the fluid transmission of care that is now able to flow because of the early differentiation work Ted did. Now several characters can give and receive care. No one needs to be the one always saving the day. No one 'hero.'

10/

Ted knows what he needs to do to get care. Sharon gives Ted what he needs. Ted is then able to care for Beard as Beard is now flooded and 'moving away from Ted.' Ted gently moves toward Beard, not chasing, but framing, inviting, gently slowing things down. Stunning.

11/

A quick words about Sharon. Early in the episode, her supervisor challenges her to break the stuck pattern by moving emotionally toward Ted. Sharon manages her irritation with Ted, and manages her embarrassment that he discovers her alcohol use.

12/

Sharon opens up to Ted, creating an invitation for Ted when he's ready. When he calls with his bombshell, she is able to genuinely care for him because she has worked through her own triggers and assumptions.

13/

Two reasons to do Systems work:

1) It increases your capacity to emotionally connect with a WIDE variety of people, including those who irritate you, catch you when you're hiding, and are coming hard at you.

2) It allows you to be human, seen, own your mistakes.

14/

So that instead of hiding and blaming, you can be exposed, vulnerable and still move toward the people who see more about you than you see of yourself.

An amazing episode. My favorite of the season. Well done @TedLasso team.

15/15