Do you actually get along better with guys or are you just not sure how to be friends with women because you’ve only been taught how to appeal to men?
Whew this is a rough one y’all.
How often have you offered the same forgiveness to women that you give to men? How many women, with the exception of maybe your mother, or a daughter, have you made excuses for? How many have you permitted to have the same level of depth you often fabricate for men around you?
Are cishet men really “less drama,” or are they just more willing to assign low importance to emotional wounds inflicted by men, or to pretend so, and thus assign fewer penalties to men, while alternating between apathy and rage as a manipulative tool for responding to women?
Is desiring to be a woman who is “one of the guys” really just a desire to receive the same benefit of the doubt? The same mostly unconditional support? Why would this type of relationship require being “one of the guys,” instead of just being a good friend?
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Data has repeatedly shown that the 2002 Serial Offender Theory contains a misrepresentative sample and an incorrect conclusion. 2015 research showed 13.2% of men self report at least one rape, and may likely repeat, but usually only during a 1-4 year period in their lifetimes.
Swartout, Koss, White, Thompson, Abbey, and Bellis (2015)
Given that close to a quarter of American women will be the victim of an attempted or completed rape, the 13.2% figure makes sense, once you account for the brief (in comparison to lifespan) time periods of repeated offending. It’s not 1:1, but it’s also not even close to 1:20.
Tired of “wow,” “shut up,” and “lol” comprising 99% of men’s responses whenever I quote tweet another man telling me I’m worthless piece of shit when 99% of men call themselves good guys.
Tired of seeing men catcall on the street while other men look away because they’re not like that - they’re the good guys.
Tired of men “just asking questions” about whether rape stats are legit, or “just pointing out” that women are just as bad, or waxing poetic about a mangled version of due process and but don’t look at me, I’m one of the good guys.
Mayochup definitely has “chup” on the back of his men’s softball league tshirt.
Friends call him the chupster and don’t understand his unlikely partnership with Kranch, who’s really more of an academic but does what he can to fit in. In truth, although he is poor at softball and rarely receives a return high five, Kranch is glad to have a partner like chup,
Attributing value to your own beauty based on your personal value system is what we typically call vanity (though the concept is itself intended to gatekeep the assignment of value); understanding that men assign value to women based on beauty is just being a woman in patriarchy.
...and before anyone accurately points out that women often assign value and police one another based on patriarchal standards of beauty, note that, as I have said before, reading the meter is not the same as controlling the measurement.
Living in accordance with standards you do not control is part of existing in society writ large. Every person has the obligation to work toward changing unfair standards but not every person has the same opportunity to do so. When it comes to internalized misogyny and...
Virtually every woman I know has been harassed or assaulted by a man. Just because no one does anything about it and we go on with our lives doesn’t mean its rare, or that our fear is unjustified, it means some of us are “vitriolic” and some of us say nothing as a way to survive.