Ugh. Honestly #ADHD therapy sessions with my therapist is a lot. I was bawling about teachers beating me for being distracted, or doodling, fidgeting, or being talkative. No one realised I wasn't neurotypical. They branded me as being disruptive or constantly distracted.
It created a lot of anxiety and depression because it enforced the idea that I was a bad child, or disrespectful. It was hard because I was being beaten for something I genuinely couldn't control. It's a struggle. My brain never stops, it's idea after idea, thought after thought
Often not putting pen to paper not because I'm lazy and procrastinating on purpose but because my brain is wired differently. Sitting down for long periods of time and working on one thing is next to impossible. It's hard to not get distracted.
No one talks about how hard it is
No one talks about how hard it is
My body always feels restless, as if I need to move. I can't describe it. I often have to rock myself, or pace repeatedly to soothe myself. My focus is short, my concentration span is short. My memory is bad and it's embarrassing because it may make me seem rude like I am just
Ignoring important things or conversations with people but I'm just not neurotypical. People ascribe neurotypical standards to us and then villainise disabled people for not behaving and doing things a neurotypical way. People with ADHD are often very smart and creative.
But learning and working in a neurotypical environment and method is exceptionally hard. Be kind. It's hard and we are VERY hard on ourselves. The past few days I haven't been kind to myself for not being able to function "normally". I get distracted by things a neurotypical
Person may not get distracted by. Like flashing lights can send me into sensory overload. Extremely full places with lots of different noises can be overwhelming. Small sounds that other people don't hear or it doesn't affect them can completely distract me to the point of a
Meltdown because I can't do anything without focusing on the humming from the fridge while I am meant to be working. That can absolutely drive me up the wall because I know I should be working and tune it out but can't, so it sets me into a panic and tears, because I'm frustrated
We have to find new ways of working, and living to accommodate people who are wired differently. I have a habit of looking up at the ceiling when talking and I'm concentrated, and not making eye contact. I didn't realise this until my therapist told me. A neurotypical person may
Think I'm being rude or not taking the conversation seriously because eye contact is important for neurotypical people to access whether you're being "truthful" often. Meanwhile, I am absolutely just trying to concentrate. Also, people with ADHD might stim like autistic people do
Please don't make comments and say we are being rude for fidgeting. It helps soothe us and help us concentrate. The stimming can include different things: doodling, bouncing up and down, rocking, pacing, squeezing a stress ball repetitively, playing with something etc.
Anyway it has been really hard. Even on medication. Medication can help with concentration on a task for example. But it doesn't take away the symptoms, I will still be forgetful, I will still interrupt, I will still stim, I will still get distracted, I will still hyperfocus on
Things that don't make sense to you. I will still repeat stories. I will still babble or be talkative. I will still be impulsive. I will still get overwhelmed and frustrated and cry because I am struggling to cope. My actual brain is different from yours. Be kind. #adhdtwitter
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