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22 Sep, 8 tweets, 2 min read
Oh right Ezra Miller was a Dumbledore after that endless terrible movie about which aristocratic bloodline he was from.
Or I saw some fans like "he's not a Dumbledore, Grindelwald was lying", exciting me for the prospect of a SECOND movie about just which aristocratic bloodline Ezra Miller is from, again with onscreen family trees and multiple archival visits.
Zoë Kravitz's ghost sobbing that she actually switched the babies a second time as her ship was sinking.
I've said this so many times but imagine getting your big movie script and your big monologue climaxes with "and that's why I switched my baby brother with another baby as our ship sank".
Yeah I mean exactly. ImageImage
I have no particular investment in HP and actually thought the first "Fantastic Beasts" was fun but I mean, I have to follow this trainwreck now.
Zoë Kravitz at table read day:
But yeah it's all building to an epic climax where, intercut with Auschwitz, Eddie Redmayne screams "don't listen to him, Credence! You're a Weasley! We have the birth certificate!".

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More from @xenocryptsite

Xenocrypt Profile picture
24 Sep
I believe statistically, older people score higher on political knowledge tests than young people, as a whole.
"As a whole" means, of course, that any individual older person may be very wrong in condescending to any individual younger person.
As would be the case regardless of their respective knowledge levels, of course. Don't be condescending to anyone!
Read 7 tweets
Xenocrypt Profile picture
24 Sep
I mean nothing mentioned in the replies by definition.
At this point I feel like the contrarian for thinking "Avatar" is a good, innovative movie that used its effects in interesting ways that have not been duplicated since.
Like "Avatar" gets the audience lost in CGI-land to mirror the protagonist getting lost in his, well, avatar. It's the title and everything.
Read 8 tweets
Xenocrypt Profile picture
23 Sep
My blazing hot take is video game movies don't do that well because people like the act of playing a video game and not the specific characters really.
As @ScottMendelson has pointed out, movies that use video game imagery or mechanics can do well, but video game adaptations are a long string of losses.
"Detective Pikachu" did ok but I don't think they were quite pleased with $433m worldwide on a $150m budget. Also sidenote, I glanced at the plot summary and it seemed to be a "how is this even legal" ripoff of "Zootopia".
Read 8 tweets
Xenocrypt Profile picture
23 Sep
Yeah eventually someone will figure out how to write or edit a streaming show and we'll be in business.
I mean I'm kind of kidding, kind of not. I think almost every streaming show/miniseries I watch, I would struggle to call any of them like, a real solid screenplay start-to-finish. But it is a youngish medium. Maybe we'll get there. We have to demand it first, I think.
Or we can act like "The White Lotus" is the most we can expect. You'll take your obviously padded rough draft and you'll like it!
Read 7 tweets
Xenocrypt Profile picture
22 Sep
The whole "Black/female James Bond" thing is part of a set of controversies that interest me, which are basically like, "how much does a story need to revolve around 'Demographic X Issues' to 'represent' Demographic X".
EG would or should a "Black James Bond" movie be about like, Africa, or police brutality, or whatever, or would it just be "No Time To Die but with David Oyelowo".
Both options would probably cause some complaining online, and probably with some justification either way.
Read 7 tweets
Xenocrypt Profile picture
22 Sep
Remember like two months ago when many people on here were saying Joe Biden's approval rating would be a stable +10 because something something polarization?
The Xenocrypt Policy of never predicting anything specific pays off yet again. Image
Now it's equally easy to say, oh it'll bounce back, or oh it'll be underwater forever. Why are people so confident about these things. Based on what.
Read 11 tweets

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