Thread by @DrJessTaylor

I don’t know why this is controversial but when I managed rape centres and victims services I would absolutely change the therapist if the woman didn’t want them, triggered by them, couldn’t relate to them, wanted someone else…

It’s HER journey, not ours.

It’s not about US.

I would always tell my staff that it wasn’t about them, not to take it personally, and that they needed to move aside to ensure the woman or girl got the best support.

Women requesting specific therapists: sexes, ethnicities, languages, backgrounds, accents, demeanour is common

It’s such a sorry state of affairs that therapists and managers are putting themselves, their needs and their validation above what a traumatised child or adult needs in that moment. These stories, they don’t belong to us, we don’t get to dictate what they need in their trauma.

A woman saying ‘I don’t want to work with them, they are a man!’ Or ‘I don’t want to work with them, they are white!’ Or ‘I don’t want to work with them, their accent triggers me!’ Or ‘I don’t want to work with them, they remind me of my mum!’

All totally acceptable & normal.

They could even just say, ‘I don’t like you, I don’t wanna work with you. You’re not the right therapist for me.’ And that’s fine by me.

Trauma informed, victim-focussed services put that woman/girl at the heart of what they do every single time.