Thread by @TheBrometheus

Men build structures. Women build networks.

When men in a family build safe structures around women, women can build self-correcting networks that heal wounds and keep the family intact and healthy.

Weak men force women to defend the structure instead of nurturing the network.

When I worked as a family therapist, I taught attachment to the women in a family first. They drank it up like a sponge and immediately applied it to start fixing the system. But that work was slowed when the men in the family stayed weak and disengaged. Strong men sped it up.

The more energy the women were able to focus into nurturing their self-correcting networks, the healthier the family became. That required men to step up to build and defend the structures. So the women felt safe and had plentiful resources for their self-correcting networks.

Weak men = defensive women = no self-correcting networks.

This is why feminists say “The future is female!” They know the way to fix families and society is with self-correcting networks.

They resent “the patriarchy” because men have failed to build and defend structures.

Women have been forced for over a hundred years now to defend their own structures instead of networking. Men haven’t had much choice with endless wars and industrial wage slavery and a host of other evils. But women resent this weakness and crave more safety.

This is why proud feminists still run to authoritarian governments (headed by men) for safety. They’re seeking structures and defense so they can go back to building self-correcting networks.

This is also why Forbes ran a survey recently and found that 84% of working women would rather stay at home and nearly 2/3rds resented their male partner for not earning enough to allow them to do so.

Men build structures. Women build networks. It’s biological.

The answer to our social problems becomes obvious.

Men building structures. Women building networks.

Zoom out on the human race for a moment until we look like ants. Men build hives, women build networks inside AND between those hives.

What are the hives? Family structures. Not nuclear family but extended family. Ten male relatives building and defending a hive with ten female relatives building the networks.

And interconnected clan hives as the family expands into ten hives. All networked by the women.

Women are instinctively trying to rebuild this. It’s why they seek to hold their broken families together. Forgive their abusive dads. Keep their depressed brothers together. It’s why some single moms have five boyfriends they bounce between. They want men to build structures.

When men step up to build and defend these family structure, women can go back to focusing on building self-correcting networks. Right now women are so anxious about defending that they turn in each other. Mother vs daughter vs sister. In a healthy network, they’re all allies.

Imagine the power of every anxious woman turned toward building a self-correcting network inside every extended family. To catch mental health issues before they erupt. To heal traumas. To teach compassion. To cover every individual with deep love.

That really what’s at the core of all those macho self-discipline masculinity charge. Men know they need to step up. To lead. To build.

But to what end? What comes next?

Women building self-correcting networks. It’s the 1-2 Punch combo. Masculine and feminine.

When men build and defend, women can nurture and network.

This is the way we fix the future.

And men and women are already doing this. They’re healing their attachment and connecting in family structures. They’re making this happen.

You can do this, too.