Thread by @watergatesummer

So if you are a new follower...here's what you need to know..I am a mom ( my son means everything to me ) ...Very tired grumpy nurse...#NYC.. #LongCovid Survivor...I believe in #Science period..I post , I vent ...I fucking care ( yes I have a cursing problem ) #CompassionMatters

And yes I have red hair ..sometimes it's lighter ( summer) and it looks weird in photos ...and yes I have been wearing a mask / double masked since Feb 2020...

I have been on Twitter forever...like 12 years ? I blogger all thru Bush years ....had a radio show 2010-2013 ( yeah during Occupy)...but I am not tech savvy ( per my son..) but I am trying ...

I also do #music here on Saturday nights ...#SaturdayTunes ...it's my way to try to give back...

I post photos ...random...mostly #nyc or my cats ...but again...trying to save what's left of our sanity...our souls....💙

So I take Covid very seriously, it almost killed me & left me changed..damaged / but I also have one lost too many to it, friends coworkers, nurses, neighbors & yes patients /it slammed #NYC like a freight train March 2020/so I am fighting Covid every day. There is no "Normal" 🤦

I worked Covid early at clinic/day program/nursing homes /tracking & tracing , Summer2020 changed to street nursing with Homeless...because I was worried about them in the Pandemic..so that's what I do but I go with them to hospitals , check on them on street& shelters/ hotels

But I have worked with homeless and working poor the entire time I have been in NYC...it matters to me as a Health issue..it fuels me as a nurse

I am an Old Nurse...I was literally one of the 1st AIDS nurses in the Country in the 80s, that was a bad Epidemic...horrific really & mishandled by Government / leadership..So I thought that maybe this health crisis would be handled better...I tried to hope...but Hope is fragile

And Intuition is a nurses greatest tool...So Christmas 2019 after seeing bootleg Chinese ER videos I started hoarding supplies, everything from vitamins,gloves, masks ,leaf bags, soup, Tylenol, catfood, cleaning supplies, all kinds of wipes and Lysol and alcohol..and yes ..Masks

I will keep adding pandemic snippers here...because I need too..because we are in our 2nd year of the Pandemic ...that's really where we are...and people that say " I can't wait to go back to Normal"....they send my BP to a really bad place ...

True story...March 2020 I made a video about wearing Masks & why it matters ..it was on @NY1 here...yeah..shy me..made a pretty accurate video about Masks for my NY neighbors as the fucking Pandemic was slamming NYC ...

So up above I confess I hoarded leaf bags& shower liner curtains too& Empty Large Pepsi bottles & Kid swim/snorkel goggles ...all that could be used as PPE..yeah nurses were hoarding weird shit that whole 2020 winter

And one nurse friend even sent out a link for a pretty awesome light weight Welders helmet..but it sold out in hours ( Feb 2020) ...she's gone now💔...but I still think she was fucking brilliant ...

Leaf bags made pretty good gowns ..just way too hot...and at the time we even laughed at each other...meanwhile CDC was telling nurses that spring to wear Bandanas for protection....yeah..that really happened...talk about Negligent Incompetence 🤦

The first Covid patient that I sat with as he died...He was an incredible color...blue ashen...like wet driftwood on a winter day with overcast skies...he was on 02..but my pulse ox didn't even get a reading ...I sang softly "Imagine"...

I was doing agency at a Nursing Home ...it was full of Covid...I was on the Hospice Floor ..there was no PPE..we shared garbage bags...we brought all our own supplies... especially masks ...and shower caps ...and hand made shields...

The Blue Man ...he was so so quiet as he slipped away...and I sang softly...I was told not to stay longer than 10 minutes ...I brushed his hair...I looked at his chart and realized with a cold chill I was exactly one day older than him...

After he was gone ...I asked if there was anyone to call...was told his wife was already gone ...that made me so sad...on so many levels ..

And while there I opened a drawer looking for binder clips for my trash bags & opened a drawer of phones...full of phones in plastic sandwich bags..carefully labeled ...another worker explained " we don't know what to do with them , we try returning them to families if we can"

There are things that haunt my dreams still....not just that first Blue Man...but the phone drawer...and Refrigerator Trucks ....

My first official Covid patient ... I confess ..I didn't know she had Covid, and my brain fought it...it was March2020...3rd week here in NYC in the Shutdown..I worked clinic in morning & afternoon got pulled to a Nursing Home ( agency nursing )...

"Jewel" was calling out, yelling from her bed.I tried talking to her , but she didn't know where she was, she kept crying for her mom, I asked other staff ? " she was fine yesterday, playing Bingo, smoking in the bathroom " . Beautiful 44 year old Black woman with childlike eyes

She was clearly delirious. The next six hours with her were life changing. she was thrashing, yelling "Momma I need you" over and over, crying , gasping. I went floor to floor taking Oxygen tanks ...I hooked her up using nebulizer equipment , because that's all I could find...

Many staff had already left sick...wheezing coughing ..hacking ..I pulled plastic off her windows & opened the windows so she could have some air...I tried to give her sips of water but she couldn't swallow...and her hand felt like a hot coal in mine...

I found a broken fan in her closet,it worked but made squeaking wheezing noises...I found another nurse & said we have to call 911 for her...he says he called ..I tried too on my cell while in the room...I could hear sirens wailing outside...it was a constant noise by week 3

She kept pulling at my trash bag ...it ripped and I gave up trying to tape it...she pulled at my hair and mask..and kept begging " I have to get to Momma" ...she was crying...her nails were so dark...her lips so gray...her tongue didn't look right ..I was on hold with 911..again

I kept talking to her ...the whole time....and rubbing her forehead...letting her know she was not alone .." It's ok...Momma is waiting it's going to be ok"..Meanwhile calling 911 again...got thru finally the dispatcher was hoarse...she sounded so tired ,whispering ...

So the dispatcher whispered " I got your address I can't tell you when they coming ..I wish I could...I promise you...she's on the list .."

Late in the afternoon EMS arrived...there was Fireman...EMTs ...all gathered around her...she didn't seem to see them...but she still clung to my hand crying ...gasping..I ran and got them my last stash of Masks ...

Before they came I had wiped her down with aloe wipes & put a clean nightgown on her.. sang Aretha "Rolling in the Deep"...because I saw she had it on a post card on her mirror...I kept thinking if she is dying I shouldn't be singing that ...it's wrong ..

I tried calling supervisors but it went to voicemail...I left messages saying I called EMS ..As I got her ready I kept thinking EMS better get her....We are running out of O2...I realized as a nurse that was a first, just like the ripped garbage bag ...

So when they finally arrived ...we planned how to get her to the ambulance ..she was still thrashing...calling Momma ..we had a new problem ..the elevator was broken ....so we were going to have to get her down five flights of stairs ...and the last 02 tank was on the Red zone...

So we planned the descent and managed to get her down five flights to the Ambo...and she was crying the whole way...I held her hand...the whole way...on the 3rd floor she knocked my cell out of my pocket as she was still thrashing & we all watched it fall

It fell down three flights...it was like watching it in slow motion...the EMTs made jokes " Takes a Licking, keeps on ticking"..."50/50 it's still alive"..all of them were so kind to her soothing her ..." We are going to get you fixed up hon"

But all of us were exchanging quiet careful uncertain looks...we got her to the bottom & as I tended her nightgown, retucked the sheets ,I asked " So where you taking her ?" Head Guy looked at me & said calmly " I don't really know , it's going to be where ever we can get her in"

I nodded..like That was "normal"...I leaned down & found my phone at the bottom of the stairs ..it was very cracked, but still working .." That's one Tough Mutta" said one EMT ..we all nodded..there was a fierce quiet hope in that moment..

As I helped her in the Ambo...I gave her hand a squeeze...she was still crying " Tell momma I'm coming ...pray for me" I promised her I would ...in my heart I did know she was going to Momma ...I could feel it as the wind blew threw the street & I exchanged glances with the EMTs

10/1/21 now a part me of knows that was just the Beginning...Now thousands are gone and not enough people are listening to the nurses, doctors, EMTs, but they need to listen about masks, crowds, vaccines.. because we've seen what Covid does...how quickly it kills ...please share

What I shared above...is just a snippet of life & death here in NYC ...those first deaths...they haunt me ..they don't leave me ...all nurses/doctors/hospital workers /EMTs we all have stories, we need to share ,to take care of each other & maybe save lives...thanx for listening