It's always the married men warning young boys to stay away from married women when they relentlessly chew these young boy's girlfriends & sisters. Can't have your cake & eat it. Contract is with your wife. She can think. If she can't, why did you pick a bread for a wife?
And why a man would kill another man over a woman, I do not understand for the life of me. Don't people have lives outside women? Friends? Career? Business? School? Lose all that? Because of a pricked ego? Too fragile a masculinity, something will always prick it.
I mean, these boys are your sons. They see what you do. They learn from it. And since your women are accessible, they do what you do. You prey on young girls because they are easily accessible, they prey on your wives. I'd say that's a fair game.
That's why in the old days when a boy was caught in mischief, the first question they asked was "who is his father?" A reconciliation of one's identity to their upbringing. You, through greed and recklessness, made these boys. It will go on until you become sensible first!
Everyday I am reminded of Herb Goldberg's exposition of cell masculinity. Where people confine themselves to prisons that defile them. I find it funny really that one must live a prisoner of completely abstract ideals. Violence is not inevitable. You have nothing to prove.
If she cheats, she will cheat. Will you kill the entire nation?

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More from @XivTroy

12 Sep
This one time I was living with my girlfriend & dog. Our relationship had thawed coz her parents were nagging: "Oh goat swallowed a salamander"... Oh! the cows needed more salt". I was tired of their ass! If a cow was old enough to demand salt, it was old enough to work for it.
She would take it out on my poor dog. Saying he is big-headed & eats too much. I said, the dog was eating just fine. It's her parents' cows that had the tastebuds of a dinosaur. Things were not good. Then by some chance, we got a new neighbor, Opija.
Opija was a chill dude. Lots of English, colorful clothes but generally cool dude. Now, his woman on the other hand was a b*tch. She wouldn't deign to greet back, would litter our shared verandah & complain that our apartment stank ass. I mean, she wasn't lying but come on...
Read 18 tweets
2 Sep
I stopped going anywhere with Ochi because the fool once stopped to hit on a policewoman with expired insurance. Back then there was a roadblock right after Mau Summit on your way to Londiani. I ate watery cabbage & porridge in a cell. We had not even been flagged down!
We were delivering some stationery to Busia. Ochi says we should start early. He has a sticker in his car, reads: "bro's before hoes!". He puts on some gospel. "When Jesus says Yes, nobody can say no!" I am thinking, this fool has really changed.
I try to put on the seatbelt, he looks at me, says mirthfully that I need to ease up: "what are you afraid of?" I didn't like his tone. Made me look like a bitch. And I am no bitch. So I ease up. No seatbelt. Gospel flowing. Good times.
Read 17 tweets
30 Aug
Letter to an Ex: The Man's Guidebook:

1. In the 1st paragraph, start with "I will understand if you don't reply"...then proceed accordingly...

This is very important. It is what I call subtle nudging. You are basically pretending to have accepted the separation. Pressures her.
2. Introduce your tribulations at her departure.

How much food does not feel the same. How much the other women snore in bed. You are pampering her ego. That she feels special. And everyone loves to feel special, don't we?
3. Introduce family & friends as a buttress.

How much your mother has been asking about her. How your sisters roasted you when she left...the neighbors won't stop asking when she'll be back. This is an appeal to sympathy. Basically, extending her responsibilities.
Read 7 tweets
31 Jul
Last week on my way to the city, I made the mistake of riding shotgun in a matatu. I never ride shotgun. Why? Coz the last time my teeth were knocked out in a scuffle between a policeman & the driver. The driver had implied the policeman had farted. Police whooped both our asses.
But I was in a hurry, & shotgun was the only option. So I risked it. The driver looked reasonable, not one to tell the policeman he had farted. I even got him some juice & water. He told me good morning & buckled his seat. Yes, stammered a little but decent guy by all standards.
We are moving. Music is good. I mean, this motherfucker was playing Kenny Rogers, Future, Franco: All kinds of music. I am thinking, "you diversity-oriented motherfucker!" Good man through & through. Wind in my face, all is good I fall asleep.
Read 11 tweets
30 Jul
It's my belief that one's relationship is a reflection of their state of mind: discernment, virtues, and/or ambitions. People pick what they subconsciously relate to even if they won't openly acknowledge it. There is no problem with marriage, the problem is individual.
We are a generation of selfish, insecure & demanding overlords. Who are just as boring as we are loud. And it is always someone's fault, never ours. Instead of healing & adjusting, we turn pain into campaign. We conjure childish rules to mechanically regulate social relationships
I mean, relationships are so simple when you know what you are, & what you want. If I made the other sex my sole focus in life, there is no way in hell I was ever going to make a good partner. I am an individual first, before I am a boyfriend. Loving needs no rules, just giving.
Read 6 tweets
29 Jul
In no other country would @DCI_Kenya wear ignorance so majestically in the name of threads. There's a place for everything. A state agency tasked with the delicate responsibility of reporting crime & criminal activity cannot assume the language of porn sites & recipe vlogs.
Crime is not funny. It is also not a canvas on which one sharpens their penmanship. When you do that, you reduce the report to a comical event. This is why you don't find humor in crime documentaries. The report should inform - serve a deterrent function - not entertain.
When you make a tragicomedy of real-life crime, you lessen its weight & reduce the victims to inconsequential apparitions. People forget these are individuals with whole lives outside of the confines of the narrative. They become little more than a tool for laughter - clowns.
Read 4 tweets

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