cicer Profile picture
12 Oct, 6 tweets, 1 min read
I delight in picturing the first time LWJ&LXC and WWX&JC witness each other resolving brotherly conflicts.
The Twin Jades sit in a sunny living room, drinking cups of steaming white tea that costs like five dollars an ounce.

They speak in hushed tones, and both of them try to claim full responsibility for the conflict.
WWX texts JC a picture of a donkey with a stupid look on its face and says, 'lmao chengcheng it's you!! <3'

JC texts back with, 'hey you stupid asshole there's leftover pizza in the fridge i'm gonna eat it all myself if you're not here in ten minutes'
Both methods deliver equal results.

But by god, they Lan bros and the Yunmeng bros are SO CONFUSED by each others' methods.
LWJ watches WWX send JC insulting memes.

"Ah," he thinks. "They are still fighting, then. Jiang Wanyin will surely be very hurt when he sees these messages. :/"

He doesn't understand that they are making up right now, before his very eyes.
LXC mentions how he 'talked things out' with his brother and 'apologized'. JC is CONVINCED that LXC is trolling him.

"Apologized?? With your WORDS???" JC thinks. "What is this, a fucking Hallmark movie???"

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More from @cicerfics

15 Oct
Sort of a Pregji-adjacent thought, but this one definitely doesn't have to be mpreg:

I think wangxian have a tiny bit of Friction™ during the first few months of their baby's life, because LWJ absolutely insists that someone MUST get up and go to the baby when they're crying.
WWX will go to the baby! He'll check on them! He'll cuddle them, check their diaper, assess whether they're hungry! He'll make sure they're not sick or hurt!

But if the baby is just crying for the sake of crying, he's OK with letting them try to cry it out for a while.
LWJ is much more of the mindset that if the baby is crying, at least one parent (preferably both parents!) MUST be attending them.

And I think they both struggle to bridge that gap.
Read 4 tweets
14 Oct
I am thinking of the Terrifying Yiling Patriarch, Immortal Emperor of the Cultivation World, Fearsome and Indefatigable, All Praise Him.

...Specifically, I am thinking of the Emperor constantly whining to his beloved Imperial Noble Consort.
"Lan Zhaaaaan. I can't answer those letters. My hand hurts. Write them for me! 🥺"

"Lan Zhaaaaan. I don't want to sit in the main hall to listen to petitioners. That seat is too hard. It hurts my ass! Well, if I go, will you kiss it better? 🥺"
The cultivators who have come to petition his help are quaking in their boots! Their fearsome emperor is late! Does this mean that someone has displeased him? Will be in a bad mood when he arrives??

...Actually, he just overslept.
Read 11 tweets
14 Oct
No, but I am really very obsessed with this idea now.

College student LWJ spots a hot thirtysomething. He positions himself in the guy's line of sight, and hints that he is open to accepting a drink.

This is usually MORE than enough to get him attention.
This usually results in the target TRIPPING over himself to rush to LWJ's side.

But this guy just looks him up and down, and goes, "No. :') You're EXTREMELY beautiful, sweetheart, but you don't even look old enough to drink. :') I am way too old for you. :')"
LWJ puts actually EFFORT into flirting, for the first time in his entire life!

And it gets him NOWHERE.

The guy just laughs, and pats LWJ's head. He has a son in second grade, dear heart. A son and a mortgage! Much too old for pretty college students.
Read 13 tweets
10 Oct
I am once again thinking how post-canon WWX probably gets insulted on a semi-regular basis by people who have Beef with the YLLZ, and he's just like, "Okay. 👍"

Except it's not okay, because LWJ turns into a feral cat (hissing and clawing included) when his husband is insulted.
Imagine being the guy who just worked up the nerve to confront the YLLZ for all his hideous and notorious crimes. You're wondering if he'll smite you on the spot. If he'll have you ripped to shreds by fierce corpses.

But no matter!! You MUST speak!
Except the YLLZ just lets out a loooooong sigh. And he reaches out and catches the back of HGJ's robes.

HGJ, who just materialized from NOWHERE. HGJ, who is now trying to claw your face off.
Read 7 tweets
9 Oct
I really want a reincarnation AU where wangxian lock eyes in a Starbucks, and their memories of their past life suddenly flood back, and they IMMEDIATELY start making out and then rush directly to the courthouse to get married.
Does this fic exist? I feel like this fic should exist already. If anyone knows of something like this, please link me. 🤲
I'm gonna be honest: I just want a situation where LXC is calling his brother, because Wangji was supposed to pick up some drinks and then join LXC at his apartment.
Read 4 tweets
8 Oct
I like to imagine post-canon wangxian going shopping together. Specifically, I like to imagine LWJ examining something, and asking how much it costs.

...It USUALLY costs one (1) copper coin, but the merchant takes a look at LWJ's silk robes and says, "Three silver pieces. :)"
LWJ is just like, "Yes, that seems reasonable" and pulls out his money pouch.

And he's IMMEDIATELY tackled by his husband, who wrestles the money pouch away and loudly scolds the merchant.
How dare you take advantage of this poor helpless Hanguang-Jun who doesn't know what things are supposed to cost! Shameless! You're a disgrace to your family!!
Read 4 tweets

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