Thread by @CultExpert

If I was advising Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) or James Harden (@JHarden13) on HOW to talk to their teammate Kyrie Irving about his fears about receiving the COVID vaccination, here's what I would advise:

First off, you're doing a GREAT job maintaining a positive relationship! 🙏

If you are finally able to persuade him, it will be built upon this positive relationship with one another. When I help family members help someone out of a cult (that's what I do btw), BUILDING this trust and rapport is always the FIRST step. So great work there.

Next...

Listen & really try to UNDERSTAND Kyrie's fears about getting the vaccine. What is he telling you privately? Is he WORRIED the vaccine is physiologically harmful? Does he not just want to be told what to do? KNOWING his frame will be very helpful going forward.

Next...

Let's now proceed to the conversation piece. The way to help someone out of conspiracy thinking (or a destructive cult for that matter) is TALKING with them. We want to ask questions that hopefully inspire critical thinking.

K. Let's go:

1. Ask thought-provoking questions while being warm and curious. Be prepared to listen deeply. You will know if you have listened well if you can accurately repeat back what Kyrie has said. Have an attitude of humility and openness to hear his information.

2. Make your goal UNDERSTANDING, not “WINNING” or even persuading. Conversations should never be competitive or about scoring “points.” Be curious and open to listening.

3. Keep conversations positive, productive, and civil. Never get angry. Stay resourceful. Better to end the interaction than say something counter-productive.

4. Adopt a warm, respectful posture and genuine interest in his point of view. Pretend you’re an impartial counselor. Really try to GET INSIDE his beliefs.

5. Understand his value system and make gentle suggestions if you notice INCONSISTENCIES (i.e. "I hear you saying you don't believe in Western medicine for vaccines, but haven't you relied on western medicine when you've gotten surgery for athletic injuries? Am I off here?").

(By the way, when I advocate "kindness," this doesn’t mean you can’t ask questions or offer to point out inconsistencies in his positions! Just be sure to do so in a way that doesn’t cause him to completely TUNE YOU OUT! We want to get inside his bubble. :)

6. Don’t “TELL” him anything. Help him to make discoveries on HIS OWN!

7. Share feelings and perceptions, not judgments. Use “I feel” statements. Share your own decision process. Stick to what your perception is when reflecting back to him.

8. Remember, more facts don’t always help. Do not overwhelm him with information! Try to see what is UNDER his belief.

9. Use FRAMES that are important to Kyrie. Kyrie has given a great deal of money to great causes (which should be praised!)...

...He's donated food to people in need, and even bought a home for George Floyd's family. Perhaps explain the SOCIAL JUSTICE case for vaccines. Covid has DISPROPORTIONATELY affected people who don't have money...when more of us are vaccinated, these people are safer.

I know this may feel like an insurmountable hill, but it's not. I've been helping people out of cults for over 45 years. These people were very DEEP in their beliefs, but there IS a way! With kindness, patience & resourcefulness you can do it.

Good luck @KDTrey5 & @JHarden13!