👨‍💼: I support Dave Chappelle because I am a free-speech absolutist

🤵🏽: Hey, that’s great! As a supporter of free speech myself, I will state for the record that I believe Chappelle’s latest special promotes ignorance that may do serious harm to the transgender community

(1/5)
👨‍💼: Here come the SJWs to ruin everything

🤵🏽: Well, are you a free-speech absolutist or not?

👨‍💼: Fine. 🙄 Objections noted

🤵🏽: As a supporter of free-market principles, I will decline to support Netflix as long as they promote ideas that are harmful to the TG community

(2/5)
👨‍💼: Now, see—

🤵🏽: I will also use my freedom of speech to inform others of Netflix’s decision to provide a platform for such material

👨‍💼:

🤵🏽:

👨‍💼: By “absolutist”, I meant Dave Chappelle gets to talk & everybody else has to shut up

🤵🏽: I see

(3/5)
👨‍💼: It seems like you can’t say anything about transgenders without them getting offended

🤵🏽: Like what?

👨‍💼: Mostly that they look gross

🤵🏽: Yeah, I guess it’s high time someone put those people in their place. They’ve been getting a free ride for far too long

(4/5)
🤵🏽: Trans people deal with very real threats of violence & discrimination every day, & most people have no idea what kind of shit they have to endure just to be who they are

👨‍💼: Hey, what if I said I identified as an attack helicopter?

🤵🏽: Never heard that one before

(5/5)

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More from @Dreamweasel

18 Oct
R: We’re not allowed to talk about the fact that COVID came from China!

D: Nobody’s really stopping you, but in the grand scheme of things it’s far less important than what we need to do to stop it

R: WHY IS THE MEDIA TRYING TO SILENCE US?

D: They’re not trying to

R: CHINA!!!
R: All the media does is tell us to socially distance & wear masks & get the vaccine! It’s a scam! They need to tell us that the virus came from China!

D: It may be difficult to believe, but all of those things are true

R: WHY IS THE MEDIA COVERING UP THE ORIGIN OF THE DISEASE?
R: Is there any particular reason this argument is so shrill & repetitive?

D: You tell me; it seems 100% driven by the conspiracy-minded notion of an activist media desperate to suppress the truth

R: And you’re including Bill Maher & Bari Weiss on our side; thanks a lot 🙄
Read 4 tweets
17 Oct
👩🏻: I’m so sick of the dating scene! Every man I meet in L.A. is such a shallow phony

👨🏻‍🦲: WE ARE LOOKING FOR SUBSERVIENT WOMEN TO CLEAN OUR HOMES, COOK OUR FOOD, AND BEAR OUR CHILDREN

👩🏻: Well, you can’t say they’re not honest

👨🏻‍🦲: ALSO, NO FATTIES
CHRISTMAS IN TINSELTOWN
A Hallmark Channel Production

👩🏻: It’s late Fall, there’s a chill in the air, & I am resigned to spending another holiday season alone

👨🏻‍🦲: I AM HERE AMONG THE MONGREL HORDES OF L.A. TO WARN AGAINST THE EVIL OF DEEP STATE SOCIALISM

(both enter Starbucks)
Read 10 tweets
13 Oct
If you are somehow convinced that threatening individual school board members is an appropriate means to address your grievances, might I suggest that your perspective has been badly warped by demagoguery and you are becoming a menace to your community
And no, this is not the same thing as following an unreachable Senator into the bathroom & demanding answers. That wasn’t great either, but the power imbalance was not comparable, nor was the implied threat of violence.
I can’t imagine many School Board members signed up for their jobs expecting that they’d regularly have to face down Tucker Carlson’s MAGA Patrol who show up at meetings to call them tyrants for enforcing CDC safety mandates and/or teaching their children about race in America
Read 5 tweets
11 Oct
Nobody in this article or elsewhere appears to speak with any real, non-hypothetical Arizonian who says “Yes, this is exactly the kind of leadership Arizona needs.”
abcnews.go.com/Politics/kyrst…
CNN: We’re here in Sandtrap, Arizona to speak with some Kyrsten Sinema supporters

*

(crickets)

*

(tumbleweeds)

*

CNN: No really, there must be one around here somewhere
CNN: Oh, look; here comes an Arizona Democrat now

AD: Hello

CNN: Are you a supporter of Kyrsten Sinema?

AD: Absolutely! For I am a quirky, unpredictable moderate with principles that are extremely difficult to define

CNN: Sounds like Sinema’s the right Senator for you
Read 6 tweets
9 Oct
SINEMA: I’m running for Senate to fight for you
DEMS: Sounds good
SINEMA: Thanks!

D: You seem to be fighting against us
S: 😉👎

D: Can we ask you some questions
S: Nope!

D: Why are you so evasive
S: I’m a maverick

D: (follows Sinema into bathroom)
S: THIS IS SIMPLY OUTRAGEOUS
R: The Democrats harass women in bathrooms because they are thugs who can’t accept a difference of opinion

D: It’s not the way we’d like to handle things, but Sinema sold us a false bill of goods & is deliberately avoiding any avenues of direct accountability to her constituents
R: Well, if you libs don’t like it you can vote her out! 😂

D: Great, so she’ll hold the Senate hostage for five more years while the GOP appoints Trump President-for-Life

R: I will simultaneously insist you have TDS and agree that your scare tactic sounds like a fantastic idea
Read 5 tweets
6 Oct
SHIELDS: I am an extremely attractive woman, and I would like to buy a castle

ELWES: I am an extremely attractive man, and I am not entirely sure I want to sell you a castle

SHIELDS: But I am also a famous author

ELWES: Such relatable content

🎶

(cue bagpipes)
ELWES: Here, try on this scarf with an authentic Scottish tartan, which does not look the same as the tartan on your dress

SHIELDS: Are you touching my boob?

ELWES: I am not touching your boob

SHIELDS: I just came here to buy a castle, you know

ELWES: Again with the castles
SHIELDS: While you’re making up your mind, I’ll ride this bicycle through the Scottish countryside

SHEEP: baaaa

ELWES: What an odd, yet alluring woman

JIGSAW: LIVE OR DIE; MAKE YOUR CHOICE

ELWES: Oh, crap; what are you doing here

JIGSAW: I’m stuck here; she took my bicycle
Read 4 tweets

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