Thread by @vyrthandi

I do not expect anyone to have compassion for the person who has their boot on your neck. But if you know me, then you know I expect it of myself.

When I hear @DaveChappelle out, I hear guilt suppression for any part he played in Daphne Dorman tragically taking her own life.

Dave and other comedians (particularly men) want to live in a word where their jokes don't have consequences (*for them), just like every single bully who has made it their pet project to ridicule transgender and other queer people for our entire lives.

https://twitter.com/vyrthandi/status/1454302178454261763?s=20

I'm not claiming Dave was solely responsible for Daphne Dorman's death.

Rather, our society is not hospitable to trans people, and when a trans person chooses to take their own life, it is the culminating act of suffering millions of wounds, whether perceptible or unseen.

Some of those wounds are ill-timed, come with a barrage of others, or are larger than we can shoulder.

I know what it's like to fall asleep hoping to never wake again--at least if it isn't from this waking nightmare that we walk through every day.

We're so fucking tired.

As a trans woman, I recognize the kind of emotional gymnastics that denial, guilt and suppression can put you through.

Only after I accepted my truth and took the first steps to reconciling myself with it was it that I finally knew the forms my denial had taken for decades.

In #thecloser, what I see is a desperate attempt to use comedy to cope with her loss. I get that.

But instead of talking with a therapist, or engagement in a meaningful self-analysis, what we have is a ghoulish desecration of Daphne's memory for the sake of edgy content.

Dave still hasn't moved beyond imagining a world in which trans women of color don't exist, framing transness as a form of white male privilege, and accusing trans women of subverting black people to take the gold in the very prestigious Oppression Olympics.

From Equanimity:

I don't know everything that transpired between Dave and Daphne.

But what I know from personal experience is that being trans often entails indulging seemingly minor or nigh-harmless transphobic microaggressions in casual conversation for the sake of concessions and acceptance.

We'll extend an olive branch, to our friends, family, or the people we look up to, to meet them half way, just to maintain relationships, even if toxic.

It appears Dave was initially sensitive to this, but he took Daphne's laughter or indulgence as a green light to go full bore.

This is a section of the transcript to the epilogue of Dave's Sticks and Stones, from an audience Q&A once available as a separate video, now unlisted from Netflix's site. (I don't know when it was removed.)

netflix.com/watch/0?origId…

Transcript location:
scrapsfromtheloft.com/comedy/dave-ch…

For trans people I've spoken with, the few last sentences bring to mind Steven Crowder, who has a well-documented history of being a chaser, while being transphobic on Louder With Crowder.

As @hasanthehun noted in his reaction, The Closer was Crowder-tier transphobic "comedy."

Often, men who love us at night loath us by day. They disguise shame by being excessively performative in their hatred.

(The "trans panic defense" is how men STILL get away with killing us in most states--particularly trans women of color, who DO exist.)
lgbtqbar.org/programs/advoc…

Nobody is the villain of their own story, and I'm sure that Dave feels justified and righteous in his views.

I’ve also seen, in the past, that Dave is capable of realizing he’s made a mistake, and I hope he can do so in this instance before more damage is done to our community.

I expect the people who will suffer the most from the stochastic violence and terror caused by Dave's emboldened stans will, overwhelmingly, be trans women of color. They always are.

I hope he'll eventually consider that, and rethink his position, but I'm not overly optimistic.

Dave struggled with his comedy in the past, and dropped off the face of the Earth, leaving a popular Comedy Central show. I didn't understand then, but I now recall skits with Tyrone Biggums, and I'm embarrassed I laughed at an unintended, 21st century minstrel show.
From Looper:

There's no inherent problem with jokes about trans people and our lives. I make them all the time. Some of them are incredibly dark.

One of my favorite books is Invisible Monsters. Written by a queer man, it embodies internalized transphobia better than anything else I've read.

But Dave, sweetheart: I didn't transition from a man to your punchline.

Trans lives are tragic, and miraculous, and cringe, and beautiful, and way too fucking difficult because men like you treat us as nothing more than jokes and disposable objects for your sexual gratification.

I believe that everyone is capable of significant and meaningful change. Because I'm trans, I have to believe that, both of trans and cisgender people. As it stands, the state of trans healthcare and our material conditions won't systemically improve until cisgender rage relents.

Additionally, "I'm Team TERF!" conveyed a complete lack of awareness of the struggles that we face, including our enemies.

TERFism is a form of white feminism. It's white supremacy, For Her.

This is serving a little too much Clayton Bigsby, black white supremacist realness.

There are jokes that are funny, but need to be told by the right person.

We intuitively know Michael Scott shouldn't perform a Chris Rock routine.

If I had the funniest joke ever about black people--a career defining crown jewel--I wouldn't tell it, not today, and not in 1965.

The struggle for trans rights, civil rights and anti-racism are not distinct, as embodied by some of our greatest champions. These movements often intersect. Prolonging one struggle will only perpetuate the other.

As I gaze up at you and a mob you incited, standing with your boots on our necks, there is little I can do but hope you'll cease this diversion before it's too late.

You don't have to do this, to us, or to yourself.

You could stand with us, and fight for our mutual liberation.