Real life scenario: (1) Tina is sexually abused by her grandfather at 6 years-old, unknown to parents. (2) Tina self-medicates abuse by binge drinking in high school. (3) Tina only hears sermons about her rebellious drunkenness, need to repent, & how terribly sinful she is.
(4) Tina is given an oversimplified, pietistic version of the gospel at _____Church's youth group. (5) After several chord progressions, some preacher uses her emotional turmoil to induce a crisis about her moral dereliction about being a "party girl" so that she follows Christ.
(6) At some youth camp, she walks down to the front & throws the stick of her debauchery into the fire with a commitment to live morally acceptable life. (7) Youth leaders report that they'd added to their "decisions" for Christ. 8) Her body never forgets the trauma of her abuse.
(9) In college, life hits again. (10) The stress, isolation, loneliness, advances by male classmates, etc. trigger traumatic memories. (11) The self-medication returns, now with debilitating shame because she threw her stick in the fire and youth camp and got baptized.
(12) Her high school friends learn of her return to binge drinking on Instagram and now question if she was ever "saved." (13) More shame. (14) Because of the abuse, she suffers from debilitating anxiety and depression. (15) Now comes the theological crisis.
(16) "If God is so good, why did He let me get raped by my grandfather?" (17) As a rape victim, her young adult conscious & self-concept is oppressed by powerlessness and shame. (18) On Sunday, at X Community Church her pastor tells her that "she's filthy rag"/"object of wrath."
(19) She also needs to hear about the Jesus who heals, redeemers, & restores. The one who saves her from the power of the devil, demons, etc. (20) Instead, she only hears about a Jesus whose job to address her bad behavior. (21) Wounded & lost, mid-20s, she leaves the church.
(22) Now she's now labelled pejoratively as a "deconstructionist backslider." (23) She encounters a group of non-Christians who treat her with nothing but empathy, kindness, & compassion. (24) One day, one of her new friends, Sam, whose free to be vulnerable tells her own story.
(25) Sam says that she was abused by an older cousin. (26) Tina, says, "I can relate," then grabs a bottle of vodka. (27) When Tina was binge drinking in high school no one ever bothered to investigate *why*. They just wanted her to stop. Moral: sinful actions are complex.
[I've been around churched kids for 27 years. And I've seen this scenario play out over and over again. Too many kids are neglected in churches where the assumption is that teens are rebelling rather than assuming that their teens may be in pain. The consequences are disastrous].
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