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10 Nov, 4 tweets, 1 min read
Weird characterization note:

I fully believe that WWX is one of those people who can parallel park with his eyes closed and only one hand on the wheel.

But I vacillate between "LWJ is a methodical and efficient parallel parker" and "LWJ cannot parallel park for shit."
I think I just enjoy it when LWJ is an outrageously smart, powerful, and competent person who simply...cannot deal with bugs or parallel park.
Sidenote: in a modern setting, I always think it's very funny when LWJ, LXC, and JZX don't know anything about cars besides 'the gas goes in that little hole right there :)'.
JYL and JZX get married. She takes a look at his car and goes, 'Hm...sweetie, when did you last have the air filter replaced?'

JZX, who literally just learned that cars have air filters: 🤯🤯🤯

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More from @cicerfics

cicer Profile picture
13 Nov
#omegaLWJseason

...Hm. I am once again thinking about an AU where LWJ is forced to marry Wen Xu, and he copes by immediately starting a smoking hot affair with WWX.
I don't know if this should be a canon AU or modern AU. I don't know if this is a situation where LWJ and WWX already know each other, or if they meet after the wedding.

I really have no idea what the particulars should be. I just like the Vibes involved with this concept.
I think it's particularly fun if WX really believes that he's got this chaste-to-the-point-of-frigidity omega husband. But LWJ is getting absolutely RAILED by WWX whenever his husband's back is turned.
Read 30 tweets
cicer Profile picture
12 Nov
#omegaLWJseason

I think that when Omegaji gets pregnant, WWX spends approximately 95% of his waking hours trying to touch his husband's swollen tiddies.
LWJ, swatting his hands away: Wei Ying. They are sore. Don't squeeze.

WWX nods, salivating a little. He immediately reaches out to touch them again.
This is really just a continuation of my ongoing 'WWX's IQ drops like a rock when LWJ is pregnant' headcanon.

Pre-pregnancy, WWX is a genius!

Post-pregnancy, WWX is banging into walls, drooling, thinking of his husband's tiddies. 🤤😵‍💫🥵
Read 4 tweets
cicer Profile picture
12 Nov
LRT - ...Well, now I kinda want a time-travel fic where WWX goes back to the very early days of the Sunshot Campaign.

He promptly FLATTENS the Wens, casually disposes of WRH and his sons, arranges for JGS to 'accidentally fall off a cliff', and claims the Dafan Wens as his own.
...And he accidentally winds up as the new Sect Leader for the rebuilt/restructured Wen clan, which is not what he was going for AT ALL, and now he's like
Now, I don't know what period WWX is coming FROM.

Post-resurrection means he's a lot more psychologically stable, but it also means he probably wants to get back to his own timeline.

Pre-death means he's pretty damn unstable, but he also might not want to go back.
Read 17 tweets
cicer Profile picture
11 Nov
I really do think that WWX will joke freely about eating the rabbits, but he'll also gasp in outrage and indignation if anyone else does it.
WWX sends LWJ lots of jokey pictures of WWX putting the bunnies in the crock-pot while LWJ is at work.

But if JC makes one (1) comment about WWX or anyone else eating the bunnies, WWX lunges across the room to cover both LWJ's ears AND the bunnies' ears.
"Jiang Cheng!" he wails. "How could you make jokes about something like that! Look, you're upsetting Petunia! Stop saying that people might eat her, or she'll be traumatized!"

Then, as soon as JC is gone, he goes back to taking funny pictures of the buns in a roasting pan.
Read 5 tweets
cicer Profile picture
11 Nov
#omegaLWJseason

After wangxian get married, LWJ goes off his suppressants. He wants to have a heat cycle and get pregnant, so he stops taking his medicinal teas or whatever.

Slowly, his scent changes.

And the HGJ Respecting Quotient (HGJ-RQ) goes up DRAMATICALLY.
Before, the general mood in CR was, 'Yes, of course we respect our HGJ.'

Afterward, the mood is, 'I BELIEVE IN HGJ SUPREMACY 🥵😵‍💫🛐 '
LWJ can't go anywhere without a trail of Lan disciples (young and old) following after him.

You need anything, king? Anything we can do for you? Just say the word! 🥺😳🥰
Read 8 tweets
cicer Profile picture
11 Nov
Oh, this is fun!

singing: 0/10
acting: 4/10
drawing: 0/10
dancing: 6/10
writing: ????/10
public speaking: 9/10
cooking: 8/10
driving: 9/10, parking 2/10
math: 7/10
I absolutely cannot evaluate my own writing competency! I've been doing it all my life, I studied it at the undergrad and graduate level, I've done it professionally. It's my primary hobby, and has been ever since I could hold a pencil.
And that means I'm way too close to it. I can't assess it AT ALL. It's a can't-see-the-forest-for-the-trees situation.

I'm shit at parking, though. I knocked a couple points off my cooking score because I don't really know how to cook meat/seafood.
Read 4 tweets

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