Today's #omegaLWJseason brainworm:
I'm always very partial to single-dad!WWX and teacher!LWJ. I am also partial to matchmaker!A-Yuan.
So I think it's fun to plop these concepts into an a/b/o setting.
I'm always very partial to single-dad!WWX and teacher!LWJ. I am also partial to matchmaker!A-Yuan.
So I think it's fun to plop these concepts into an a/b/o setting.
A-Yuan wants siblings, y'all!
Oh, you think JYL and JC are hassling WWX about adopting another baby? You think random Jiang relatives are busy trying to matchmake WWX?
Well, they've got NOTHING on our boy A-Yuan. Every day, he looks at his baba like
Oh, you think JYL and JC are hassling WWX about adopting another baby? You think random Jiang relatives are busy trying to matchmake WWX?
Well, they've got NOTHING on our boy A-Yuan. Every day, he looks at his baba like
WHERE are his younger brothers and sisters?! He's WAITING, Baba!
WWX manages to string him along for a bit, by claiming that he's been checking the cabbage patches every day, but he hasn't found any babies! No deliveries from the stork, either! Sorry, Yuanyuan!
WWX manages to string him along for a bit, by claiming that he's been checking the cabbage patches every day, but he hasn't found any babies! No deliveries from the stork, either! Sorry, Yuanyuan!
A-Yuan wants to know why Baba can't simply adopt again, like he did with A-Yuan.
WWX sighs and explains it doesn't really work like that. He got to adopt A-Yuan because he knew A-Yuan's biological parents, and they picked him to raise their son. It was a private adoption.
WWX sighs and explains it doesn't really work like that. He got to adopt A-Yuan because he knew A-Yuan's biological parents, and they picked him to raise their son. It was a private adoption.
It's usually hard for alphas to get approved for adoption all by themselves, so he doesn't think an agency would let him do it.
A-Yuan doesn't quite understand the legal intricacies of this. But he latches onto the understanding that Baba simply needs to get married.
A-Yuan doesn't quite understand the legal intricacies of this. But he latches onto the understanding that Baba simply needs to get married.
After all, Auntie JYL got married, and then she had a baby! If Baba got married, maybe then a baby could grow in somebody's tummy, like the baby in Auntie's tummy!
He asks Baba, very gravely, how all this works. (He's got a little notepad prepared, so he can take notes.)
He asks Baba, very gravely, how all this works. (He's got a little notepad prepared, so he can take notes.)
WWX mock-sobs dramatically. His tiny son is all grown up now! Such a big boy! Already he wants to learn about the facts of life!
He pinches A-Yuan's cheeks and gives him noogies.
But in the end, he answers most of A-Yuan's questions.
He pinches A-Yuan's cheeks and gives him noogies.
But in the end, he answers most of A-Yuan's questions.
A-Yuan walks away with the understanding that if Baba is going to make babies the 'old fashioned way', then he needs to marry an omega.
...A-Yuan doesn't know what the 'old fashioned way' means, exactly. But it doesn't matter. He knows someone who would be perfect for this job!
...A-Yuan doesn't know what the 'old fashioned way' means, exactly. But it doesn't matter. He knows someone who would be perfect for this job!
His new kindergarten teacher, Mr. Lan! A-Yuan likes him so much, and he does lots of fun lessons and cool experiments and things!
He isn't married to someone else. A-Yuan knows that, because one of the other students asked Mr. Lan if he was married, and he said no.
He isn't married to someone else. A-Yuan knows that, because one of the other students asked Mr. Lan if he was married, and he said no.
So the next day, he marches up to Mr. Lan's desk and asks if he wants to have children.
Mr. Lan is somewhat taken aback by the question. He reminds A-Yuan that he has twenty-five children to look after right this minute!
Mr. Lan is somewhat taken aback by the question. He reminds A-Yuan that he has twenty-five children to look after right this minute!
But he says that yes, someday, he would like to have children of his own.
"How many?" A-Yuan asks, in a very business-like tone.
Mr. Lan blinks.
"Two or three, I suppose."
A-Yuan frowns.
"What about five?"
He's already decided he wants three brothers and two sisters!
"How many?" A-Yuan asks, in a very business-like tone.
Mr. Lan blinks.
"Two or three, I suppose."
A-Yuan frowns.
"What about five?"
He's already decided he wants three brothers and two sisters!
Mr. Lan blinks some more. Then, he gives A-Yuan a rare smile and pats his head.
"Perhaps five. I would have to think carefully about this, and discuss it with my partner. It's important not to rush into big decisions."
"Perhaps five. I would have to think carefully about this, and discuss it with my partner. It's important not to rush into big decisions."
He's trying to steer the conversation back on track and provide some type of moral lesson.
But A-Yuan isn't listening. He scampers away, delighted, to go play on the swingset.
LWJ just shrugs his shoulders, amused by the whims and mood swings of six year old children.
But A-Yuan isn't listening. He scampers away, delighted, to go play on the swingset.
LWJ just shrugs his shoulders, amused by the whims and mood swings of six year old children.
Meanwhile, A-Yuan is moving into the next phase of his plan.
Each time they do art projects, Mr. Lan makes something with the students. And each time, A-Yuan asks if he can take Mr. Lan's finished project home.
A bemused LWJ always says yes.
Each time they do art projects, Mr. Lan makes something with the students. And each time, A-Yuan asks if he can take Mr. Lan's finished project home.
A bemused LWJ always says yes.
WWX receives a steady stream of gifts. He's told they are 'from Mr. Lan'.
A-Yuan also cons his baba into buying him some extra things (toys, candy, trinkets, etc.) and smuggles these to school as presents "from Baba to Mr. Lan".
A-Yuan also cons his baba into buying him some extra things (toys, candy, trinkets, etc.) and smuggles these to school as presents "from Baba to Mr. Lan".
He also fishes around to learn more about their preferences. He already knows what types of food his baba likes, and he drops some heavy hints for Mr. Lan. He finds out that Mr. Lan has pet rabbits, and tells his baba that they need to make a spot in their house for rabbits.
For when they get married and Mr. Lan moves in, of course!
But WWX doesn't understand. He thinks A-Yuan is trying to wheedle him into adopting some pets, and he says no. Their apartment is too small for that!
But WWX doesn't understand. He thinks A-Yuan is trying to wheedle him into adopting some pets, and he says no. Their apartment is too small for that!
"Then we have to move," A-Yuan says seriously. "Where will the new babies go?"
"What new babies?!" WWX yelps.
A-Yuan fixes him with a grim state.
"My little brothers and sisters! Where will THEY sleep, if there isn't even room for bunnies?"
"What new babies?!" WWX yelps.
A-Yuan fixes him with a grim state.
"My little brothers and sisters! Where will THEY sleep, if there isn't even room for bunnies?"
WWX claps a hand over his eyes and walks off, muttering about how it's a conspiracy. Everyone in his family is trying to get him to marry and have babies. He can't get a moment's peace around here! If it's not his Jie, it's his own son!
A-Yuan ignores him. He makes a mental update to his plan.
Obviously, they will need to move in with Mr. Lan. That's fine. A-Yuan knows he has a big house. There was a field trip last month where the students got to visit Mr. Lan's backyard, pat his bunnies, feed his chickens.
Obviously, they will need to move in with Mr. Lan. That's fine. A-Yuan knows he has a big house. There was a field trip last month where the students got to visit Mr. Lan's backyard, pat his bunnies, feed his chickens.
They'll simply move in with Mr. Lan when he and Baba get married!
But they don't seem to be any nearer to the wedding, and that means they're not any nearer to having babies, either. A-Yuan is feeling disgruntled.
But they don't seem to be any nearer to the wedding, and that means they're not any nearer to having babies, either. A-Yuan is feeling disgruntled.
LWJ notices, of course, that one of his top students is in a funk. A-Yuan has made some vague mentions of moving, too. LWJ is worried.
It isn't good to move a child when they're halfway through kindergarten, particularly if the move causes such an emotional upset.
It isn't good to move a child when they're halfway through kindergarten, particularly if the move causes such an emotional upset.
He decided to arrange a parent-teacher conference. He hopes that he can persuade A-Yuan's father to delay the move until A-Yuan has finished the school year.
When WWX shows up, he's EXTREMELY confused. He swears up and down that he's said nothing about moving.
When WWX shows up, he's EXTREMELY confused. He swears up and down that he's said nothing about moving.
There's no plans of any kind to move the kid anywhere! True, A-Yuan was hinting that he'd like a pet, and their apartment won't allow that. Maybe they SHOULD move to a bigger place. But they'd stay in the same neighborhood, and A-Yuan would go to the same school!
He knows how close A-Yuan is to his teacher! He knows how much A-Yuan has bonded with his beloved Mr. Lan! A-Yuan talks about him all the time at home! WWX would never rip the kid away from a teacher he likes so much.
LWJ is relieved. He's flattered. And he's starting to wonder if all those little presents (the candy, and such) actually WERE partially from A-Yuan's father. He assumed they were only from A-Yuan, but perhaps they were a thank-you gift from a grateful parent, too?
WWX is having a similar moment.
For a while there, he thought A-Yuan was stealing his teacher's art projects! But A-Yuan always swore he had permission to take them, and WWX didn't THINK he was raising a little liar.
For a while there, he thought A-Yuan was stealing his teacher's art projects! But A-Yuan always swore he had permission to take them, and WWX didn't THINK he was raising a little liar.
He thought maybe Mr. Lan felt sorry for him: an unmarried alpha, raising a baby on his own.
And Mr. Lan obviously cares about A-Yuan so much. Maybe he WAS trying to send them little presents, to cheer them up or make them feel less alone.
And Mr. Lan obviously cares about A-Yuan so much. Maybe he WAS trying to send them little presents, to cheer them up or make them feel less alone.
They beam at each other, and agree to bring A-Yuan into the room.
They'll explain it all to him! They'll tell him he's not moving after all, unless his father decides to move to a bigger house somewhere very close by.
They'll explain it all to him! They'll tell him he's not moving after all, unless his father decides to move to a bigger house somewhere very close by.
He won't lose his teacher or his school friends, and maybe he'll even be allowed to have pets in his new house! So there's no need for A-Yuan to be upset anymore!
They deliver the news, smiling. But A-Yuan is stone-faced.
"What about the babies?" he asks.
They deliver the news, smiling. But A-Yuan is stone-faced.
"What about the babies?" he asks.
"What babies?" LWJ asks.
But WWX claps a hand to his face, because he knows where this conversation is going.
"Ah. Yuanyuan. We talked about this! Remember how I said it's really hard to adopt when you're not married?"
But WWX claps a hand to his face, because he knows where this conversation is going.
"Ah. Yuanyuan. We talked about this! Remember how I said it's really hard to adopt when you're not married?"
He throws an apologetic look at LWJ, embarrassed that they're having this conversation in front of him. Then he knees down beside A-Yuan.
"I probably wouldn't get approved for adoption again, remember? Because I'm not married to anybody?"
"So get married," A-Yuan says.
"I probably wouldn't get approved for adoption again, remember? Because I'm not married to anybody?"
"So get married," A-Yuan says.
WWX claps both hands to his face this time.
"'So get married', he says!"
He flashes a mortified glance at LWJ.
"Ah, I'm sorry. He's been possessed by the spirit of someone's great-aunt, I think. He's been pestering me about this for months!"
"'So get married', he says!"
He flashes a mortified glance at LWJ.
"Ah, I'm sorry. He's been possessed by the spirit of someone's great-aunt, I think. He's been pestering me about this for months!"
"You said," A-Yuan insists stubbornly, "that you probably can't adopt again. But you said you can have a baby if someone marries you and helps you!"
WWX slumps down on the carpeted kindergarten floor. He's prepared to die of embarrassment, right here.
WWX slumps down on the carpeted kindergarten floor. He's prepared to die of embarrassment, right here.
Of COURSE A-Yuan has to do this in front of the most stupidly beautiful teacher in school. Of course he does!
He couldn't do this in front of that elderly lady who helps out with the reading classes in the afternoon? The one who's eighty years old if she's a day?
He couldn't do this in front of that elderly lady who helps out with the reading classes in the afternoon? The one who's eighty years old if she's a day?
He HAS to do this in front of the drop-dead gorgeous Mr. Lan!
"You said," A-Yuan continues doggedly, "that you would probably have to marry a nice omega, and THEN you could have babies the 'old-fashioned way'."
WWX lets out a muffled wail against the carpet.
"You said," A-Yuan continues doggedly, "that you would probably have to marry a nice omega, and THEN you could have babies the 'old-fashioned way'."
WWX lets out a muffled wail against the carpet.
"Why are you exposing me like this! A-Yuan!"
He snatches at his stone-faced son.
"You're embarrassing me in front of your teacher! Now he thinks I've been telling you weird things! Tell him you don't actually know what it means to have babies the old-fashioned way, okay?"
He snatches at his stone-faced son.
"You're embarrassing me in front of your teacher! Now he thinks I've been telling you weird things! Tell him you don't actually know what it means to have babies the old-fashioned way, okay?"
He turns A-Yuan to face Mr. Lan. A-Yuan frowns for a moment, then lets out an aggrieved sigh.
"I don't know what it means," he admits. "But I know if Baba marries an omega, then a baby can grow in somebody's tummy. Like Auntie's baby. Then I'll have have a brother or sister."
"I don't know what it means," he admits. "But I know if Baba marries an omega, then a baby can grow in somebody's tummy. Like Auntie's baby. Then I'll have have a brother or sister."
WWX's face is bright red. He knows it. He can feel it.
It's too bad that they had this conversation because A-Yuan was acting like he didn't want to move. Now they HAVE to move. They have to change their names and immigrate to outer Mongolia, and become yak herders.
It's too bad that they had this conversation because A-Yuan was acting like he didn't want to move. Now they HAVE to move. They have to change their names and immigrate to outer Mongolia, and become yak herders.
They certainly can't stay HERE.
But Mr. Lan kneels down and puts his hands on A-Yuan's shoulders. He almost looks like he's biting back a smile, though his cheeks and ears are red too.
But Mr. Lan kneels down and puts his hands on A-Yuan's shoulders. He almost looks like he's biting back a smile, though his cheeks and ears are red too.
"Ah. I see." He tilts his head. "A-Yuan wants a brother or sister very much, doesn't he?"
His voice is extremely kind. A-Yuan nods vigorously.
"I want five," he corrects.
WWX lets out a groan.
His voice is extremely kind. A-Yuan nods vigorously.
"I want five," he corrects.
WWX lets out a groan.
"Look at this greedy child! Who raised you to be so demanding?"
He nudges his son.
"Do you want me to put you in a box and mail you back to where you came from? I'll do it! I've still got the receipt, you know!"
He nudges his son.
"Do you want me to put you in a box and mail you back to where you came from? I'll do it! I've still got the receipt, you know!"
A-Yuan ignores him, staring raptly in Mr. Lan's eyes.
WWX can't exactly blame him for that. They're nice eyes. Very, very nice eyes.
"But he has to get married first," A-Yuan explains. "Baba said so, and Auntie said so. He has to get married before I get brothers or sisters."
WWX can't exactly blame him for that. They're nice eyes. Very, very nice eyes.
"But he has to get married first," A-Yuan explains. "Baba said so, and Auntie said so. He has to get married before I get brothers or sisters."
A-Yuan is beginning to sense that his beloved Baba and his beloved Mr. Lan are none too bright! So he decides to explain using small words.
"Mr. Lan isn't married," he tells his baba. "He wants a baby. He said so!"
It's LWJ's turn to go bright red.
"Mr. Lan isn't married," he tells his baba. "He wants a baby. He said so!"
It's LWJ's turn to go bright red.
"He's an omega," A-Yuan adds, "and you said you have to marry one of those to have a baby."
He tugs on WWX's arm, almost dangling off of him.
"And he has a big house! You said we can't have babies in the apartment because it's too small."
Obviously, this plan is foolproof.
He tugs on WWX's arm, almost dangling off of him.
"And he has a big house! You said we can't have babies in the apartment because it's too small."
Obviously, this plan is foolproof.
A-Yuan is gratified to see a dawning realization on Baba and Mr. Lan's faces.
Baba chokes. He sputters, and tries to speak, but he can't. Mr. Lan gets him a bottled water, and then asks A-Yuan to go wait in the playroom while they talk this over.
Baba chokes. He sputters, and tries to speak, but he can't. Mr. Lan gets him a bottled water, and then asks A-Yuan to go wait in the playroom while they talk this over.
A-Yuan marches off proudly, and the door swings shut behind him.
WWX drains the bottle of water in one gulp, and then sinks into the tiny cramped kindergarten desk that's three sizes too small for him. He buries his face in his hands.
WWX drains the bottle of water in one gulp, and then sinks into the tiny cramped kindergarten desk that's three sizes too small for him. He buries his face in his hands.
"Is this normal?" he gasps, when he can finally speak. "I swear, none of the parenting books said ANYTHING about this. I skipped some of them, okay?"
He looks up at LWJ in despair.
He looks up at LWJ in despair.
"I was busy! A struggling single dad! I didn't read ALL the books! But nobody ever told me the kid would propose to people FOR me!"
He lets out a brief, hysterical laugh.
"No one told me the kid would just walk over and ask someone to bear my CHILDREN!"
He lets out a brief, hysterical laugh.
"No one told me the kid would just walk over and ask someone to bear my CHILDREN!"
"Is he emotionally damaged? Do I have to get him a psychologist? Are you going to call the authorities and tell them I messed this kid up by trying to raise him by myself?"
He can't help sounding a little panicked.
He can't help sounding a little panicked.
It just that there was never any shortage of people telling WWX that a bachelor alpha had no business raising a child, especially one that he wasn't even genetically related to.
And he KNOWS most of those people are chauvinists and jerks and regressive pigs. He KNOWS that.
And he KNOWS most of those people are chauvinists and jerks and regressive pigs. He KNOWS that.
But now he can't help but wonder if he really did mess this up. If A-Yuan wasn't the happy kid WWX always THOUGHT he was. If he was always secretly hungering for more, for something WWX couldn't provide.
LWJ sits down next to him.
LWJ sits down next to him.
They probably look ridiculous, crammed into those tiny desks, but WWX doesn't care.
Mr. Lan truly is STUPIDLY pretty. At least A-Yuan has good taste as a wingman!
"A-Yuan is very well adjusted," Mr. Lan says firmly.
Mr. Lan truly is STUPIDLY pretty. At least A-Yuan has good taste as a wingman!
"A-Yuan is very well adjusted," Mr. Lan says firmly.
"It's normal for children his age to express interest in the idea of siblings."
He nods around the classroom.
"Several of his classmates have recently welcomed younger siblings into their families. It is natural that A-Yuan is curious about this process."
He nods around the classroom.
"Several of his classmates have recently welcomed younger siblings into their families. It is natural that A-Yuan is curious about this process."
WWX tilts his head skeptically.
"So...lots of kids ask questions about babies and marriage, and things like that?"
Mr. Lan nods.
"It is a normal developmental stage," he insists. "I deal with such questions on a daily basis."
"So...lots of kids ask questions about babies and marriage, and things like that?"
Mr. Lan nods.
"It is a normal developmental stage," he insists. "I deal with such questions on a daily basis."
WWX tilts his head further.
"How many of them ask YOU to marry their parents and help give them a little brother or sister?"
Mr. Lan colors delightfully. WWX's teeth itch. He wants to trace that rising flush with his tongue.
"How many of them ask YOU to marry their parents and help give them a little brother or sister?"
Mr. Lan colors delightfully. WWX's teeth itch. He wants to trace that rising flush with his tongue.
It takes real effort to remind himself that he's in a kindergarten classroom. He scratches restlessly at his knees.
"This is...the first time I have received such a proposition," Mr. Lan admits. "But it may not be the last."
"This is...the first time I have received such a proposition," Mr. Lan admits. "But it may not be the last."
"Young children don't always understand the boundaries between family and school staff. They sometimes see us as an extension of their family."
WWX doesn't respond right away. He wants to say something really stupid like, 'Well, maybe you SHOULD be an extension of our family.'
WWX doesn't respond right away. He wants to say something really stupid like, 'Well, maybe you SHOULD be an extension of our family.'
But then he remembers the gifts, and he buries his face in his hands.
"He was courting you," WWX moans. "For me! My six year old son was bringing you courting gifts and telling you they were from me! Wasn't he!"
"He was courting you," WWX moans. "For me! My six year old son was bringing you courting gifts and telling you they were from me! Wasn't he!"
When he manages to look up, he finds Mr. Lan looking rather flushed again.
"He has good taste," Mr. Lan admits. "He brought my favorite candy, and several ornaments for my desk."
He points to a little hand-painted dish with rabbits on it. There's a little bud vase, too.
"He has good taste," Mr. Lan admits. "He brought my favorite candy, and several ornaments for my desk."
He points to a little hand-painted dish with rabbits on it. There's a little bud vase, too.
WWX should have KNOWN that A-Yuan didn't want those things for himself. He groans again. Then he drops his hands into his lap.
"I kept all the things you let him take home. All the little art projects. I just thought it was really nice of you, so I keep them on a little shelf."
"I kept all the things you let him take home. All the little art projects. I just thought it was really nice of you, so I keep them on a little shelf."
He shrug, embarrassed.
"You were always so nice to A-Yuan, and he liked you so much. I guess I just liked feeling like we had another person on our team, you know?"
He tries to give a casual smile, and fails.
"You were always so nice to A-Yuan, and he liked you so much. I guess I just liked feeling like we had another person on our team, you know?"
He tries to give a casual smile, and fails.
"It was nice to feel like we had a friend who was helping to look out for my son."
So maybe he WOULD like to get married, even though he keeps telling people he and A-Yuan are fine as a twosome. So maybe he'd like more babies and a partner he could cuddle with! So what!
So maybe he WOULD like to get married, even though he keeps telling people he and A-Yuan are fine as a twosome. So maybe he'd like more babies and a partner he could cuddle with! So what!
So maybe A-Yuan has great taste, and he picked out a super gorgeous guy who's already nice to A-Yuan and good with kids. So maybe A-Yuan is too smart for his own good, and knows WWX better than he'd like to believe!
WWX doesn't know what he's supposed to do about that NOW.
WWX doesn't know what he's supposed to do about that NOW.
But Mr. Lan hesitates for a moment, and then plunges in.
"You are unmarried. You adopted a child on your own."
He waits, until WWX nods.
"Does this mean...did you choose to become a parent this way because you have no interest in a romantic partner?"
"You are unmarried. You adopted a child on your own."
He waits, until WWX nods.
"Does this mean...did you choose to become a parent this way because you have no interest in a romantic partner?"
WWX make a strangled noise. He can't help it.
"No! Uh. No, that wasn't why. It just sort of happened, you know. Friends needed someone to adopt their baby, and I was available."
His heart gyrates in his chest. He tells himself not to get his HOPES up, for goodness sake!
"No! Uh. No, that wasn't why. It just sort of happened, you know. Friends needed someone to adopt their baby, and I was available."
His heart gyrates in his chest. He tells himself not to get his HOPES up, for goodness sake!
Mr. Lan is probably just CURIOUS, that's all!
But it's hard to see what Mr. Lan is thinking. His face is closed-off, and thoughtful.
"I see," he says, after a brief pause. "And...you told your son you would most likely need to marry an omega. Did you say this because..."
But it's hard to see what Mr. Lan is thinking. His face is closed-off, and thoughtful.
"I see," he says, after a brief pause. "And...you told your son you would most likely need to marry an omega. Did you say this because..."
"No," WWX squeaks.
His voice cracks. It's NOT suave or sexy. Really, maybe he should let A-Yuan handle his romantic life after all!
"No." He clears his throat. "I wasn't just saying that because of, uh, the biology. I do like omegas. Not JUST omegas, but I like them, too."
His voice cracks. It's NOT suave or sexy. Really, maybe he should let A-Yuan handle his romantic life after all!
"No." He clears his throat. "I wasn't just saying that because of, uh, the biology. I do like omegas. Not JUST omegas, but I like them, too."
He would probably NEED an omega if he wanted to have babies the old-fashioned way.
But...if he's perfectly honest with himself, he would probably just enjoy having one around, too. Even if there were no babies involved.
He feels like a butterfly pinned to a corkboard.
But...if he's perfectly honest with himself, he would probably just enjoy having one around, too. Even if there were no babies involved.
He feels like a butterfly pinned to a corkboard.
Mr. Lan stares at him for a long time. He nods.
He reaches out, moving the little bud vase to a different position on his desk. Then he turns back to WWX.
"You are trying to avoid making promises to your son about having more children in the future," he observes.
He reaches out, moving the little bud vase to a different position on his desk. Then he turns back to WWX.
"You are trying to avoid making promises to your son about having more children in the future," he observes.
"Is this because you don't want to raise his hopes, in case you cannot find a partner? Or is it because you, personally, would rather not have any more children?"
WWX gulps.
They're almost, almost tipping over the edge of what's appropriate parent-teacher conversation.
WWX gulps.
They're almost, almost tipping over the edge of what's appropriate parent-teacher conversation.
So far, they're not quite there yet.
Mr. Lan might just be asking so he knows how to deal with A-Yuan in the classroom. He might be asking so he can advise WWX about proper communication with children. It MIGHT be that.
Mr. Lan might just be asking so he knows how to deal with A-Yuan in the classroom. He might be asking so he can advise WWX about proper communication with children. It MIGHT be that.
But something about Mr. Lan's pink-tipped ears makes WWX think that isn't the case.
He worries at his lower lip, and then musters up his courage.
After all, if he's misreading this, he can still flee the country. Outer Mongolia isn't going anywhere.
He worries at his lower lip, and then musters up his courage.
After all, if he's misreading this, he can still flee the country. Outer Mongolia isn't going anywhere.
"No." He smiles faintly. "I'd like a partner, more kids, all of that. But not a lot of people want to shack up with someone who's already got a little kid, you know!"
"Very foolish of them," Mr. Lan says, crisply.
He studies WWX intently.
"How many children do you want?"
"Very foolish of them," Mr. Lan says, crisply.
He studies WWX intently.
"How many children do you want?"
WWX chokes again, and Mr. Lan has to get him ANOTHER bottle of water. But once he glugs it down, he decides there's no point being coy anymore.
He rubs his hands over his face, and he laughs.
He rubs his hands over his face, and he laughs.
"Well, A-Yuan says he needs five siblings. And as you might have noticed, he kind of runs my life! So I guess I need to find someone who wants five more babies."
Half of his brain thinks that Mr. Lan will coolly wish him luck in his search, and send him out of the room.
Half of his brain thinks that Mr. Lan will coolly wish him luck in his search, and send him out of the room.
The other half, the optimistic half, hopes that maybe Mr. Lan will negotiate. Maybe he'll say HIS limit is two babies.
WWX would take it. He'd tell A-Yuan that little boys can't be too greedy, and neither can grown men! He'd tell A-Yuan they'll just have to settle for two.
WWX would take it. He'd tell A-Yuan that little boys can't be too greedy, and neither can grown men! He'd tell A-Yuan they'll just have to settle for two.
Instead, Mr. Lan thinks for a few minutes. Then he nods.
"Six is acceptable," he says.
"SIX?!" WWX shrieks.
Mr. Lan frowns, and points discreetly to the 'use your indoor voices' poster on the wall.
"Five," he explains, "plus A-Yuan."
"Six is acceptable," he says.
"SIX?!" WWX shrieks.
Mr. Lan frowns, and points discreetly to the 'use your indoor voices' poster on the wall.
"Five," he explains, "plus A-Yuan."
And before WWX can absorb that, Mr. Lan stands up. He tugs WWX to his feet, too.
"I did not thank you for my gifts," he says, nodding at the vase and the painted dish.
WWX stares at him for a minute. Then he throws his head back and laughs.
"I did not thank you for my gifts," he says, nodding at the vase and the painted dish.
WWX stares at him for a minute. Then he throws his head back and laughs.
His hands have somehow found their way to Mr. Lan's hips. Mr. Lan tugs on his jacket, pulling him closer. WWX's head is spinning. He feels giddy, a little drunk.
"You didn't!" He heaves a sigh. "Ah, such poor manners from a teacher! Should I complain to the principal?"
"You didn't!" He heaves a sigh. "Ah, such poor manners from a teacher! Should I complain to the principal?"
Mr. Lan slides his fingers underneath WWX's collar.
"Allow me to thank you now."
It's shockingly bold. WWX lets out another hysterical, giddy laugh.
"Mr. Lan! Do you do this during all your parent-teacher conferences?!"
He's joking, of course. But Mr. Lan's face is serious.
"Allow me to thank you now."
It's shockingly bold. WWX lets out another hysterical, giddy laugh.
"Mr. Lan! Do you do this during all your parent-teacher conferences?!"
He's joking, of course. But Mr. Lan's face is serious.
"No," he says.
And then:
"Call me Lan Zhan."
WWX doesn't have enough time to call him anything. Lan Zhan's mouth is suddenly on his, hot and slick.
They're totally going to get arrested, he thinks.
And then:
"Call me Lan Zhan."
WWX doesn't have enough time to call him anything. Lan Zhan's mouth is suddenly on his, hot and slick.
They're totally going to get arrested, he thinks.
Kissing in the kindergarten classroom can't be legal!
But by the time they draw back, Lan Zhan is smiling. And WWX spots a tuft of hair peeking over one of the tiny kindergarten chairs.
He lets out a loud groan.
But by the time they draw back, Lan Zhan is smiling. And WWX spots a tuft of hair peeking over one of the tiny kindergarten chairs.
He lets out a loud groan.
"Get me a box! Get me some shipping tape! Get me some of those foam peanuts! I'm packing you up and FexExing you back where you came from! Unfilial child! How dare you spy on us!"
A-Yuan bounces up, his small face unrepentant. He's smiling too.
A-Yuan bounces up, his small face unrepentant. He's smiling too.
"Are you getting married now?" he demands. "When will I be a big brother?"
Lan Zhan's mouth twitches. But WWX just sighs and drops his forehead against Lan Zhan's shoulder.
"Let me take your teacher out for dinner first! My goodness. Children are so forward nowadays!"
Lan Zhan's mouth twitches. But WWX just sighs and drops his forehead against Lan Zhan's shoulder.
"Let me take your teacher out for dinner first! My goodness. Children are so forward nowadays!"
He complains for fifteen minutes straight about how children today are much too smart for their own good, and it's probably all that filthy music and TV shows putting ideas in their heads!
But it's no good. He does marry A-Yuan's beloved Mr. Lan within a matter of months.
But it's no good. He does marry A-Yuan's beloved Mr. Lan within a matter of months.
And A-Yuan gets his first little sister within a year of the parent-teacher conference. His hard work and scheming definitely paid off, and WWX can't even bear to scold him for it.
THE END.
THE END.
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