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adhd-angsty

16 Dec, 9 tweets, 2 min read

Me: I can't be autistic, I don't have any social difficulties

Also me: Avoids any social situation where the rules are unclear, writes down scripts for phone calls, asks a billion questions in conversations to avoid losing control, can only unmask with other ND people

Me: I can't be autistic, I don't have any sensory issues

Also me: wants to throw up at the thought of dry paint or clay on my hands, can't walk on dusty concrete, feels sick from wearing tight clothing

Me: I can't be autistic, I don't care about things changing

Also me: Eats the same thing for breakfast and snacks every day, has to deep breathe every time work tasks change, hates when people try to contact me without warning or propose hangs when I already have plans

Me: I can't be autistic, I don't get overstimulated

Also me: Has emotional outbursts for no reason but senses things being "too much", has to hide in the bathroom for breaks during long social events, can't hold a conversation with any background noise

Me: I can't be autistic, I don't stim

Also me: Constantly making tiktok sounds, have to aggressively chew gum when stressed to stay calm, constantly picking at my scalp, always tapping my feet when excited or happy

Me: I can't be autistic, I understand interpersonal relationships

Also me: special interest in culture, hyperanalysing everything always, did a degree focused on human behaviour, constantly on relationship based reddits "understands" but through a theory based lens

Tbh I'm still not 100% clear if I AM, and I am conscious that I don't want to appropriate the autistic experience- but it is fascinating to me how easy it is to dismiss "symptoms" vs the way autistic experiences actually feel.

Seeing autistic people tweet and write about their own experiences as an autistic person, rather than reading diagnostic criteria, have caused a LOT of "oh" moments for me!

FYI, life is busy so I probably won't be responding to this thread anymore x

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More from @AdhdAngsty

adhd-angsty

@AdhdAngsty

12 Oct

I hate that practically every resource about ADHD and relationships is framed around "how to put up with your ADHD partner and all the ways they will fail you".

My partner and I BOTH have ADHD, and it is the most fulfilling, stable, and joyous relationship I've ever been in.

Honestly, if you're dating an ADHDer, and you find ADHD traits like losing things, being late, interrupting etc to be dealbreakers...don't date them. You don't have to put up with those things, but you also can't force your partner to magically be someone else.

My partner and I interrupt each other all the time- I love how energetic we are. I often lose things- he helps me find them. He finds it hard to focus on big convos- so we chat in bed where there are less distractions. These traits are not objective relationship ruiners.

Read 5 tweets

adhd-angsty

@AdhdAngsty

18 Sep

I’d rather live in a world where some people mistakenly think they have ADHD before doing more research, than a world where ADHD has no visibility. A psychiatrist confirmed my self-diagnosis, but I never would have known to look into ADHD without memes and social media.

ADHD's diagnostic criteria is based on what it looks like to others- how much we seem like we're not paying attention, how much we seem like we're not listening, how much we talk "excessively" (who determines what excessive is, by the way?).

Conversely, memes and threads and stories capture how ADHD *feels*. I remember going onto the ADHD women’s subreddit and seeing posts about losing keys and letting friends down and having 15 mugs
on your desk at once. I remember seeing myself.

Read 9 tweets

adhd-angsty

@AdhdAngsty

1 Sep

On ADHD + catastrophizing:

Do you ever think about the impact of consistently telling kids their ADHD related struggles mean they're lazy, careless etc? No wonder some of us catastrophize- many of us were taught that small mistakes DO make us inherently bad.

Growing up, adults consistently made assumptions about what my behaviour meant. I lost things because I was careless, forgot homework because I was lazy, was late because I was selfish etc. As a child I knew this wasn't true and that I was trying really hard to be "good".

But, to the adults around me, behaviour equaled intent. And they expected me to show remorse for that intent, to apologise, and to adjust my behavior accordingly. No matter how hard I tried, I kept making mistakes, which they took as me not bothering to change.

Read 10 tweets

adhd-angsty

@AdhdAngsty

2 Aug

Don't mind me, just sitting here thinking about how angry flatmates and family used to get at me for leaving kitchen cabinet doors open, when it turns out it's related to my ADHD. They always made me feel super inconsiderate even though I tried SO hard to remember.

I'm not saying that ADHD is a get out of jail free card for annoying your flatmates, but it's also not cool to moralise an ADHDer's behavior based on assumptions e.g. interpreting someone leaving kitchen cabinet doors open as them not respecting or caring about the shared space.

I'd love for people with ADHDers in their lives to think critically about what's important and why. If ur consistently hitting your head on cabinet doors or some equivalent, I get the frustration. But if it's bc of what it represents, are u sure it means what you think it means?

Read 6 tweets

adhd-angsty

@AdhdAngsty

1 Aug

Too many doctors resist diagnosing people with chronic illness bc they think it's not worth it, or that people get "worse" and "depressed" after the diagnosis. Hmmm, maybe people appear visibly worse bc diagnosis validates them and they stop pretending everything is fine???

It's absolutely bizarre to me that so many doctors seem to think the diagnosis is what causes the discomfort, rather than the symptoms. It really feels like they're revealing the extent to which they believe what their patients are telling them.

Even if something can't be "treated", a diagnosis means recognition. You have terms to google, and a community with strategies to lean on. You can tell your workplace. Your family believe you. You believe YOURSELF that what you're going through is real and deserves care.

Read 6 tweets