Women, imagine that for 24 hours, there were no men in the world.
No men are being harmed in the creation of this hypothetical. They will all return. They are safe and happy wherever they are during this hypothetical time period.
What would change? What would you do that day?
Men are not the only reason some women feel unsafe. Racism, classism, homophobia, transphobia, and religious persecution are all ways that society, including other women, can harm both women and men.
The difference is, women do not make men unsafe simply because they are men.
For four years now I’ve asked this question on Christmas Eve. It’s a gift, to give women a moment to imagine what they would do if they felt safer. Collectively there are more than 14,000 original replies.
Women, who just want to take a walk. Men, berating them for saying so.
Ok so I was scrolling through, trying to decide what sort of tweets I make that would be worth paying for, but that I don’t want assholes to be shielded from, and I realized that basically just leaves dunks so we’ll stick with the old model.
Me: EXCLUSIVE PICS FOR SUPER FOLLOWERS ONLY
Super follower: what the fuck these are pictures of kittens
Me: their names are Smokey and Bandit they are three months old
I want to talk about how misogyny is often framed as edgy jokes. I want to talk about how this guy is comparing battered women to dogs in an animal shelter and mocking how traumatized and easy to manipulate they are as a result. I want to talk about why men think this is funny.
I want to talk about how the internet is foaming at the mouth for this kind of content. How men dive into the replies to participate like starving sharks diving onto a steak.
I want to talk about how tossing out lazy, bottom of the barrel, vitriolic misogyny online is always done in the key of “king willing to say what we’re all thinking,” and that it’s a common part of the discourse among young men, and especially among progressive or leftist men.
Women learn early and often that being cruel, dismissive, or indifferent toward other women will earn you marginally less mistreatment from men. This is true regardless of whether a culture actively discourages networks of women, and even when it actively encourages them.
Sometimes culture isolates women by assigning value exclusively based on proximity to men. Sometimes it isolates us by limiting the nature of our proximity to men to sex/caretaking, while being mostly indifferent about women’s networks because they have no real access to power.
In either case, a woman who does not prioritize proximity to men over relationships with women is a disnormative threat. Men reward women who disclaim prioritized solidarity by granting them greater access: If you are willing to cut down other women, you can be one of the guys.
Do you actually get along better with guys or are you just not sure how to be friends with women because you’ve only been taught how to appeal to men?
Whew this is a rough one y’all.
How often have you offered the same forgiveness to women that you give to men? How many women, with the exception of maybe your mother, or a daughter, have you made excuses for? How many have you permitted to have the same level of depth you often fabricate for men around you?
Data has repeatedly shown that the 2002 Serial Offender Theory contains a misrepresentative sample and an incorrect conclusion. 2015 research showed 13.2% of men self report at least one rape, and may likely repeat, but usually only during a 1-4 year period in their lifetimes.
Swartout, Koss, White, Thompson, Abbey, and Bellis (2015)
Given that close to a quarter of American women will be the victim of an attempted or completed rape, the 13.2% figure makes sense, once you account for the brief (in comparison to lifespan) time periods of repeated offending. It’s not 1:1, but it’s also not even close to 1:20.
Tired of “wow,” “shut up,” and “lol” comprising 99% of men’s responses whenever I quote tweet another man telling me I’m worthless piece of shit when 99% of men call themselves good guys.
Tired of seeing men catcall on the street while other men look away because they’re not like that - they’re the good guys.
Tired of men “just asking questions” about whether rape stats are legit, or “just pointing out” that women are just as bad, or waxing poetic about a mangled version of due process and but don’t look at me, I’m one of the good guys.