We spend a lot of time looking forward. What's the next goal, project, and so forth.
We need more reflection. Looking back, cementing lessons that were hard-earned.
Here are my 10 lessons on living, handling discomfort & loss, and improving our physical & mental health 👇👇
We need more reflection. Looking back, cementing lessons that were hard-earned.
Here are my 10 lessons on living, handling discomfort & loss, and improving our physical & mental health 👇👇
1. What we give attention to gets valued. What we value influences our life choices.
Most things in our life capture our attention. We need to spend more time actively choosing what we give attention to.
More active purposeful engagement, less passive consumption.
Most things in our life capture our attention. We need to spend more time actively choosing what we give attention to.
More active purposeful engagement, less passive consumption.
2. No one wins in defensive mode.
When we default towards defend and protect, we start playing not to lose. We are playing prevent defense. We stop listening, we stop learning.
Whether in debates with others or in pursuing our own goals, get out of defensive mode.
When we default towards defend and protect, we start playing not to lose. We are playing prevent defense. We stop listening, we stop learning.
Whether in debates with others or in pursuing our own goals, get out of defensive mode.
3. Don’t cement/get stuck.
Don’t let your personal or group identity, your beliefs, or even your definition of success become stuck.
A lot of us have a definition of success stuck in 2003.
Don’t let your personal or group identity, your beliefs, or even your definition of success become stuck.
A lot of us have a definition of success stuck in 2003.
Or an identity that has become so intertwined with what we do, the groups we affiliate with, or whatever that we have no space to change.
We need to be secure. But we also need to be flexible and adaptable. Work hard to be open to being wrong, to change, to update your beliefs.
We need to be secure. But we also need to be flexible and adaptable. Work hard to be open to being wrong, to change, to update your beliefs.
4. Learn how to lose
Don’t be like Urban Meyer…
Learning how to lose doesn’t mean accepting defeat. It means being able to accept where you are, and rationally find a path towards where you want to be.
Don’t be like Urban Meyer…
Learning how to lose doesn’t mean accepting defeat. It means being able to accept where you are, and rationally find a path towards where you want to be.
If you don’t learn how to lose, you’re going to default to protect and defend mode. Your ego will convince you to blame others, to find a scapegoat. That gets in the way of finding out what actually is causing you to lose.
A deeper dive on losing:
A deeper dive on losing:
https://twitter.com/stevemagness/status/1458879289345064961
5. Accept who you are and define what/who matters.
We’re always measuring up. We’re all playing a status game. It’s human nature. Accept it.
We’re always measuring up. We’re all playing a status game. It’s human nature. Accept it.
But you have influence over who/where your comparison point is. Get clear on who and what matters. And come back to that over and over again.
It’s only when you accept the game you are playing, that you free yourself up to perform.
It’s only when you accept the game you are playing, that you free yourself up to perform.
6. Occasionally, See God.
We need to do hard things. Not all the time, but every once in a while going to the well, resets and reminds you what discomfort and difficulty are all about.
We need to do hard things. Not all the time, but every once in a while going to the well, resets and reminds you what discomfort and difficulty are all about.
For exercise, I call these see God days. Go so hard, that by the end of the workout, you see God.
You don’t have to visit him often, just a few times a year.
You don’t have to visit him often, just a few times a year.
7. It takes effort to eat vegetables.
In life, we default towards the easy choice. We seek the quickest path to closure, the quickest path to relieving our anxiety or angst. Often, that path is like candy. It temporarily feels good, but leaves us unfulfilled over the long haul.
In life, we default towards the easy choice. We seek the quickest path to closure, the quickest path to relieving our anxiety or angst. Often, that path is like candy. It temporarily feels good, but leaves us unfulfilled over the long haul.
Eating vegetables takes effort and time. Pausing and choosing the difficult path gets a bit easier each time you do it. But it will takes months of eating vegetables before that’s your go to route.
8. Deal with the thing.
Avoidance is a candy solution. Works in the short term, but leaves the thing sitting there, eating away at you over the long term.
Accept the thing. Come to terms with it. Make sense of it. Integrate it into your story.
Avoidance is a candy solution. Works in the short term, but leaves the thing sitting there, eating away at you over the long term.
Accept the thing. Come to terms with it. Make sense of it. Integrate it into your story.
9. Find Silence
We’re all overstimulated. It’s part of the modern world that isn’t going away. We typically handle it by either going numb or trying to squash the anxiety that comes with overstimulation.
It is imperative that you find time & space to be alone in your head.
We’re all overstimulated. It’s part of the modern world that isn’t going away. We typically handle it by either going numb or trying to squash the anxiety that comes with overstimulation.
It is imperative that you find time & space to be alone in your head.
10. Find time & people to be authentic with.
Most of us live on the surface. We present an acceptable piece of ourselves to the world.
But we also need to have people you can go deep with. To have conversations without judgment, to struggle with, to find genuine connection.
Most of us live on the surface. We present an acceptable piece of ourselves to the world.
But we also need to have people you can go deep with. To have conversations without judgment, to struggle with, to find genuine connection.
I hope you take the time to reflect on the important lessons you've learned. Feel free to share!
If you enjoy learning about the science of performance and well-being, consider following.
Here's to a 2022 filled with insight, learning, compassion, and understanding.
If you enjoy learning about the science of performance and well-being, consider following.
Here's to a 2022 filled with insight, learning, compassion, and understanding.
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