We want to talk about role models. Break that idea down and think about it…role models aren't meant to be perfect people. There are no perfect people. Investing too much in role models is a sign of issues on the raving fan end of the equation.
Encouraging raving fans is a problem on a potential role model's end of the equation. Having a need for adoration. Both ends have issues of a sense of lack and a need to fill, and potentially broken boundaries between them.
It becomes a toxic energy exchange between the adorers and the adored.

As both ends are flawed people, the chances these stories end tragically is very real. The adored, raised up on their pedestal, has enormous performance pressure.
They “don't want to let their fans down” and jump through hoops for appearing perfect. They mask tightly. They're anxious about their image. They cannot be authentic. Where there are adorers there are critics, and rumors, and trolls. Scrutiny.
We all know how at least some of these toxic relationships end, with the cherished falling from grace, the fans devastated or crushed, much hand-wringing and lamenting the fallen hero, lots of news or posts about it, and the fallen disgraced.
Go back to “role model”. This is not meant to be a pedestal, there is not meant to be adoration. The model is for inspiration not worship, copying is meant to be a few strengths, not hanging on their actions or investing your self-esteem in their life.
We are each individually responsible to bring our most whole self possible to our relationships, including those who have traits we may admire and wish to emulate. We cannot fill our deficits with another's life & successes.
We have everything we need between our ears. We may need to learn how to use it. We may need to heal. Hanging our hopes, dreams, sense of worth, etc. on someone else is dangerous for both. They feel responsible for you (fans) & cannot care as well for themself.
So if you want to do yourself/ves a favor, and do your idols a favor, consider your connections. Whose words do you hang on? Who do you need to hear from? Who has a hold over your moods and how you feel depends on how they're doing.
Doesn't need to be anyone famous. They may not be aware that you've attached to them. There are ways to disentangle from them safely, and fill your own broken and empty places without needing others to fill you.
Healing your own self, you bring more of you to all your relationships without leaning on others in a toxic way, so when they stumble, you do not fall. You might be strong enough to help steady them. And that's a much healthier relationship, taking turns.
Singular or plural, individuals who need more information on how to heal from these types of issues, please see kinhost.org/Main/Emotional…

Please take really good care of yourselves.

This post brought to you by the letter Q and reaching 1000+ followers.
Rereading our own thread it's like yeah we definitely have the autistic disregard for "authority" positions. We reject the whole idea of inherent castes or respect because of a degree or badge or a published work, etc.
There's more about this in both The Book of Joy and The Culture Code. Humility (we all are born helpless, we all fart, we all make mistakes), abolishing the "don't question leadership" paradigm (blindly following leaders is dangerous; question authority!).

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More from @TheCrisses

Jan 17
Analyzing Brand et al 2012 more deeply, and we're so frustrated with this study. I hope they re-do a similar study for current practices and use it to help inform the ISST-D guidelines because this is *headdesk*.
The DID experts surveyed weren't recommending doing trauma work, for the most part. Barely used EMDR. Used CBT during the middle phases of therapy. There's good info in this document, but it's so out of date it's painful.
It looks like the majority of the experts surveyed recommend spending significant time repairing the therapeutic relationship. What EXACTLY is going on during therapy sessions that this becomes one of the major focuses of therapy?
Read 9 tweets
Oct 4, 2021
While we don't care whether people have a dx or not — one important thing to do, disabled or not, is get and retain your records. This thread is about benefits qualification & other services if ever you should need it. #ActuallyAutistic #DIDOSDD
Going back as far as possible, initiate records requests. You don't have to open the envelopes, but store them all and keep them — or scan them and stash them encrypted in a cloud storage. What types of records?
All of your medical records, tests, assessments, school documentation from pre-K through any uni or training programs. Hospitalization, surgery, psych units, institutions, therapy, counseling, care coordination, special ed programs, IEPs etc.
Read 8 tweets
May 15, 2021
Trouble working with or finding your inner world? Hopefully this info helps folks. 🧵 We keep finding folk having trouble with or mistaken impressions about inner worlds. #pluralgang #pluralpride #plurallife #dissociatwt #DIDOSDD
We have found some plural & DID systems “trying” too hard to make/create their inner world, imagine it, picture it, visualize it into existence, etc. It seems that somehow there's some mistaken information about inner worlds being shared in the community.
We are pretty sure most already have this “place” and are overlooking it, making it too complicated, or under the mistaken impression that it has to be more elaborate, therefore *that* must not be it, it must be more grandiose.
Read 21 tweets

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