Thread by @redalphababe

If Only - the government since 2010

If only we could appease the ERG we could be a progressive government
If only we could blackmail the EU with our departure , they will agree to anything we say.
If only we could get rid of the EU we could be kings of the world! 1/

If only we were out of the EU you could have cheap shoes
If only you hadn’t believed us we would know what to do next.
If only we could get rid of immigrants we could give you a house
2/

If only we could get rid of FOM you could have better hospitals.
If only we could have Boris Johnson in charge the unicorns will dance in your gardens every morning.
If only we had sovereignty we could raise taxes from the richest.
3/

If only we were out of the single market we could have better economic growth
If only those pesky remainers hadn’t kicked up a fuss Brexit would be perfect
If only you believed - really really believed, Brexit would be a huge success and you would all be millionaires by now.
4/

If only the EU would not negotiate to protect its own members we could have our cake and eat it.
If only we didn’t have a good Friday agreement, NI would not be a problem.
If only Ireland would leave the EU, everything would be so much easier for us. .
5/

If only it wasn’t for covid, we would be a world beating government.
If only Trump would win the first time we could have a brilliant US trade deal.
6/

If only Trump had won again we would have a brilliant US trade deal.
If only just enough people believe us every time we lie, we can hang on to power indefinitely.
7/

If only we throw world beating into every interview, nobody will notice our cockups.
If only we hadn’t fired Dominic you would you wouldn’t know about the parties. 8/

If only we hadn’t fired our politicians with integrity we would know what to do now.

If only, if only, if only

#BrexitHasFailed
/END