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Feb 6 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
I am not sure the answer to this question exonerates the media’s critics
LIMBAUGH: You can’t trust the MSM because they call Republicans racist idiots

FOX NEWS: You can’t trust the MSM because they call Republicans racist idiots

TRUMP: You can’t trust the MSM because they call Republicans racist idiots

CUMMINGS: I wonder why nobody trusts the MSM
R: Trump won the election but the Deep State is trying to cover it up because they’re anti-American globalists who want open borders & are trying to brainwash our children with Critical Race Theory

D: You sound like a racist idiot

R: Clearly you have been brainwashed by the MSM
R: Democrats are hysterical snowflakes who call us racist when we say they’re anti-American globalists who want open borders & are brainwashing our children with CRT

D: There are three racist dog whistles in that statement alone

R: But unless we say the N-word, they don’t count

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More from @Dreamweasel

Dreamweasel Profile picture
Feb 8
Imagining myself pocketing the 50 G’s and starting fresh, desperately trying to attract attention to my satirical dialogues about political gaslighting by stapling them to wooden kiosks & telephone poles
Hey, I don’t know who’s offering $50,000 to buy the rights to my Twitter account, but I’m sure a robust corporation like Disney Plus could continue to generate the blue-ribbon content my readers have grown accustomed to
D: Hello! I am D, a Democrat

R: And I am R, a Republican

D: Let’s argue about politics

R: OK

D: Have you ever noticed the similarities between Donald Trump and a poop-flinging monkey?

R: No, I never have

(choreographed fight scene and/or dance number)

R: Well, that was fun
Read 4 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Feb 8
THE RETURN OF COLBY, THE STILL PROFOUNDLY-FICTIONAL LIBERAL ARCHETYPE THAT YOU HEAR ABOUT ON FOX NEWS

COLBY: My goal is to divide the country by relentlessly criticizing the way Republicans behaved after the 2020 election

D: Are you suggesting that we weren’t divided before
COLBY: The only reason I continue to insist the January 6th rally was a big deal is to distract from the ever-present rioting & looting at BLM protests

D: I suppose there’s not much point in explaining “projection” to you
COLBY: We all know lockdowns are pointless, masks are a nuisance & vaccines are dangerous, but I get a great feeling of power when I force them on everyday Americans

D: So you’re the one
Read 6 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Feb 8
SHORTER GOP: There is no truth whatsoever to the liberal fiction that institutional racism still exists and we are systematically making it harder for black people to vote, two things that unambiguously make our country better and we have no interest whatsoever in stopping
GOP: There is also nothing alarming about President Trump bringing 15 boxes of White House files with him to Mar-a-Lago, as this would necessarily keep them away from the prying eyes of the Deep State Democrats & the Liberal Media desperate to bring down our finest President
GOP: Simultaneously denying and enthusiastically supporting every horrifying thing Democrats accuse us of doing is an impressively acrobatic rhetorical stunt that requires the undying credulity of our base and the embarrassingly short attention span of our national media
Read 7 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Feb 7
Apparently “Pulp Fiction would be ruined if QT left out the pointless N-bombs” is a hill some people are willing to die on
And furthermore
It’s probably more of a “butterfly effect” kind of thing, where changing one detail would mean ZOMG IT’S NOT THE SAME MOVIE ANYMORE and therein likes Orwellian dystopia and dogs & cats living together
Read 5 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Feb 2
TRUMP: I solicited the Kremlin’s help to dig up dirt on HRC & I made promises to Putin that I never disclosed to the public & I fired Comey for investigating me and I really never cared if it was legal

MUELLER: Here is a 400-page summary of my findings; do with it what you will
TRUMP: I threatened Zelensky & I wanted my followers to stop the certification & I wanted Pence to overturn the election & I did everything within my power to interfere with Biden ever becoming President and I really never cared if it was legal

GARLAND: Well, don’t that beat all
TRUMP: Since nobody has held me accountable for anything I’m going to encourage my followers to take over election boards and I’ll promise to pardon anyone responsible for 1/6 and we’ll be ready and waiting to Stop the Next Steal because I still don’t care if any of this is legal
Read 10 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Jan 31
TWO YEARS OF COVID-19

We’ve all heard the refrains from people demanding that Life Must Return to Normal:

- “The Omicron variant isn’t that harmful”
- “Social distancing is causing mental illness”
- “Masks are unfair to children”
- “If they’re not vaxed by now, they never will”
Whatever their rationale may be, these people have decided that the risk posed by COVID-19 is outweighed by the damages caused by masks, social distancing, & other mandated shutdowns.
This isn’t even about vaccine skepticism. A lot of these arguments are coming from people who have had the vax. But they believe, rightly or wrongly, that the current variants of COVID-19 are no longer the threat the virus was when it was first discovered two years ago.
Read 9 tweets

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