Thread by @cicerfics

#dadxianweek #pregjiseason

I do think that modern wangxian marry young, and start their family young! I think they have three biokids, two adopted kids, and probably two more unofficial foster kids that they just happened to pick up.

(Hey, their teenage kids have some friends with a lousy home life! What are wangxian supposed to do, NOT adopt those kids? I think NOT.)

Anyway. They're very happy and have a nice overflowing house.

And then. The day comes when their youngest finally moves out. 🥲

Spoiler alert: wangxian absolutely cannot cope as empty-nesters.

Everyone who knows they started a family young is like, "Oh, how nice for you two! You're only 42 and you've already got the house to yourselves! You can travel and have fun and be carefree!"

But wangxian are just moping around the house.

No babies to take care of? No kids to drive to soccer practice? No math homework to help with? No college application essays to proofread? No afterschool snacks to prepare? No PTA meetings to attend?

This is BULLSHIT. 😭

They last about three months before they decide they NEED to snag at least two more foster babies.

And then, just as they sign the paperwork, they realize that LWJ's overdue period (which he thought was the start of menopause) is actually a pregnancy. 🙃

And hey, you're more likely to have twins if you get knocked up in your 40s, so maybe it's two babies!

Anyway. Wangxian now have four more kiddos to look after, and lots of snacks to prepare, and lots of diapers and homework and PTA meetings.

They are At Peace Once Again. 😌

And by the time the SECOND generation of wangxian babies is grown up and out of the house, wangxian have at least six grandkids!

So if they get lonely and empty-nesty, WWX can just call up one of his kids.

"You unfilial child! Why don't you ever let us see our grandchildren?!"

"...Baba. We visited you two days ago. 🤨"

"That's an ETERNITY for an old fart like me! I could have DIED in the meantime, you know!"

"You're only 60, Baba. 🤨"

"BRING ME MY GRANDCHILDREN THIS AFTERNOON OR LAN ZHAN AND I WILL PASS AWAY."

"*long sigh* Yes, Baba."

Wangxian have no shame about pulling the whole I-could-be-dead-tomorrow-you-know routine in order to secure more time with their grandbabies!

Their kids are skeptical, given that their parents enjoy hiking and gardening, and they just traveled to Aruba for spring break. 🤨

Very suspicious that their parents are suddenly at death's door when they go five (5) business days without seeing their grandkids. 🤨

Oh well. Free babysitting is free babysitting, after all!