Stranger danger rating (a thread) 🧵
1/6
1/6
Small Humans:
Danger Rating 0/10
Small humans are mostly harmless, sticky, less hairy versions of their larger counterparts,
They make loud sounds, fall over, and complete daily nonsense. Ignore.
2/6
Danger Rating 0/10
Small humans are mostly harmless, sticky, less hairy versions of their larger counterparts,
They make loud sounds, fall over, and complete daily nonsense. Ignore.
2/6
Teens
Danger Rating 2/10
Teens are gangly, smelly, loud almost humans. While they are almost always acting suspicious it is not their fault. They are full of hormones and it isn’t polite to spay or neuter them yet.
Bark a bunch.
3/6
Danger Rating 2/10
Teens are gangly, smelly, loud almost humans. While they are almost always acting suspicious it is not their fault. They are full of hormones and it isn’t polite to spay or neuter them yet.
Bark a bunch.
3/6
The wind
Danger Rating 5/10
While it well understood wind is merely changing air pressure, it is greatly suspicious. An unseen force that can move leaves, garbage and blow away plastic bags? Not cool wind.
Many barks
4/6
Danger Rating 5/10
While it well understood wind is merely changing air pressure, it is greatly suspicious. An unseen force that can move leaves, garbage and blow away plastic bags? Not cool wind.
Many barks
4/6
Delivery people in hats
Danger Rating 8/10
It is possible that the man with the hat is delivering a new Thneed your humans bought on Amazon, it is more likely they are an axe murderer that will decapitate your family. You, the dog, are the only one who knows this.
BARK AWAY
5/6
Danger Rating 8/10
It is possible that the man with the hat is delivering a new Thneed your humans bought on Amazon, it is more likely they are an axe murderer that will decapitate your family. You, the dog, are the only one who knows this.
BARK AWAY
5/6
Cats
Danger level 15/10
Cats are devious scoundrels. Why is it out and roaming without a human? Answer- gathering data for the destruction of planet Earth. Cats are aliens whose sole purpose is to uslurp the dog’s place as best friend to humans.
GO BANANAS
6/6
Danger level 15/10
Cats are devious scoundrels. Why is it out and roaming without a human? Answer- gathering data for the destruction of planet Earth. Cats are aliens whose sole purpose is to uslurp the dog’s place as best friend to humans.
GO BANANAS
6/6
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