Thread by @stand_for_all

Thread: There are benchmarks in this world and I know, for me at least, measuring yourself against them can be massively damaging to your mental health. "They're stressed and do x, so I shouldn't complain". So let's get this out there now, it's okay to say you are struggling. 1/

I'll hold my hands up here that I am a hypocrite. I'm struggling, and even I recognise that taking a long weekend doesn't solve stresses and issues which have been building up for month and years, but I still won't talk about it. NOT AN INVITATION FOR ADVICE FOLKS. 2/

I've got a pretty good reason for that though, experience. Experience as an #ActuallyAutistic tells me that if I try and talk about what gets to me, or why I am struggling, the person I am talking to will inevitably blame it on my being autistic. 3/

They will then give me some advice which helps them as a neurotypical person, and probably get annoyed and blame me for not "trying hard enough" when it doesn't work. FYI, I have never and will never be able to visualise a blue ball of light, or any other colour. 4/

My bosses are brilliant, I genuinely mean that. They know that working in the sector we do, and with the people we do, we need to be careful about burning out, but even so I can't ever bring myself to talk about it other than making a bad joke about how I am feeling. 5/

We're all under pressure aren't we? Others, definitely in my workplace, are under more stress than we are, so it's not fair to say your issues? Bollocks! Yes I'm a hypocrite, do as I say not as I do. Trust me on this, open up to people who worry about you. 6/

I was taught from a very young age to "man up". Hide your emotions etc. I can't remember exactly how old I was, but it was definitely primary school, when my dad told me I was too old to tell him I loved him now, men didn't do that. A healthy upbringing if ever there was one. 7/

I'm not going to throw decades of my experiences into this thread, not least ways because someone will try and give me advice, NOT AN INVITATION FOR ADVICE. I am going to say that we all have our own shit and it can be tough to open up about that. 8/

Here's the thing, listening to the likes of me, or talking to your friends, may help a bit, I hope it does, but we urgently need better communications from professionals from a young age about looking after our mental health. 9/

We need massive funding into mental health services so that people can get the support THEY NEED. Not some off the shelf, one size fits all, hokum designed by an app developer for HR departments. 10/

The first step though, I'd say, and please for God's sake don't expect me to be saying anything other than from my experience, is to at least be honest with yourself that it doesn't matter what others are going through, if you are struggling then you are struggling. 11/