#Thread
It’s almost 12 months since I adopted Waffle the dog, which means it is nearly a year since Izzy my Border Terrier died.
There’s no schedule or timetable for grieving the loss of loved ones, and no difference for me between those who have 4 legs and 2. #DogsOfTwitter 1/
The photo of Izzy licking an ice cream was the last photo my father-in-law ever saw.
My partner was called to the hospital where his Dad was dying.
Izzy and I stayed at home, waiting for the inevitable news.
A few weeks later we went out to sea to scatter some of his ashes. 2/
This was how I chose to remember my father-in-law, a former naval officer who spent most of his life landlocked in suburbia.
His old cine films had lots of shots where he stood gazing out to sea.
We watched as his ashes tumbled down into the dark swirling depths of the waves. 3/
Life moves in circles. The mourners become the ones we grieve for.
We didn’t expect Izzy to die so soon.
The compensation was a glorious last summer when we went out walking every day.
When we got home Izzy would fall fast asleep in my arms.
I still miss the weight of her. 4/
Izzy’s paws smelt like biscuits.
I miss that too.
Some people said it was far too soon to get another dog, I had to get over losing Izzy first.
But to do that I needed another companion, so I disregarded what they said, and set aside any thoughts it being somehow ‘improper’. 5/
Waffle is a joy to be with.
She is unreservedly enthusiastic about life.
People often ask what sort of a dog she is.
We have never been sure.
Her original family thought Waffle was a Cockerpoo / Bichon.
The groomer thought she was part terrier.
So my partner bought a DNA kit! 6/
Waffle’s DNA results are back, and they’ve proved to be surprisingly delightful.
Who would have thought Waffle would have Border Terrier and Chihuahua heritage?
Her Bichon, Shih Tzu and Parson Russell characteristics are easy to see, and she behaves very much like a terrier! 7/
The next time someone asks me what sort of dog Waffle is when we’re out walking I can say she’s a lovely blend of breeds.
I’ve never even heard of some of them, like the Danish Swedish Farm Dog (or Danish Pinscher) and the Havanese (the national dog of Cuba). #DogsOfTwitter 8/
The fact that Waffle is mainly terrier explains why she’s always digging, and my lawn is full of holes!
The year has almost completed its circle, we have been through the dog days now.
Autumn and winter still lie ahead of us, with the promise of renewal in the season beyond. 9/
‘Because of the dog's joyfulness, our own is increased. It is no small gift. It is not the least reason why we should honor as well as love the dog of our own life, and the dog down the street, and all the dogs not yet born...’ #MaryOliver #DogsOfTwitter 10/
‘What would the world be like without music or rivers or the green and tender grass? What would this world be like without dogs?’
‘A dog can never tell you what she knows from the
smells of the world, but you know, watching her,
that you know
almost nothing.’ #MaryOliver 11/ end
#Thread
#Autism awareness and acceptance really matter because stigma, prejudice, and lack of trauma informed, ‘experience sensitive’ approaches perpetuate structural inequalities and injustices.
In my locality #SocialCare needs of autistic adults come under the #MH service.
1/
I saw an unqualified Assistant Psychologist in the #CMHT after my #autism diagnosis.
I wanted help with the existential crisis of late autism diagnosis but ended up being gaslighted.
I realised what was going on and discharged myself after explained what iatrogenic harm meant.
2/
A few months ago a combination of factors (none of them to do with mental health) meant that I needed social care support.
Because I am #Autistic I was told that my assessment would be carried out by the MH team.
I was so traumatised by my last contact with them I declined.
3/
#Thread
Adjusting to a very late in life #autism discovery.
How my life has changed 5+ years on.
Like many #Autistic people I had experienced repeated episodes of #burnout and #trauma.
By the time I reached my late 50s I was exhausted.
I had no energy to get going again.
1/
This quiet breakdown could easily have gone unnoticed or been explained by a number of other things.
I’d always been quirky and different, a highly sensitive, deeply empathic person.
My distress could have been attributed to a personality issue, or to anxiety
and depression.
2/
Through good fortune and serendipity I found my way to a service that helped me to start making sense of my life.
The process of acceptance, adjustment, and self-advocacy has continued since then.
It’s not enough for me to adapt, other people need to make accommodations too.
3/
I feel blessed to have reached the age of 64 with much of my life still intact.
When everything began to unravel in my 50s it wasn’t clear why.
My career (which had been reasonably successful, if somewhat disjointed) got derailed.
My personal life started falling apart too.
1/
Without understanding why this was happening, it would have been impossible to remedy the situation.
I’d have carried on pulling at the loose threads until there was nothing left at all.
Discovering that I was #Autistic gave me the answers I needed to start to repair my life.
2/
What needed fixing wasn’t me, it was my living and working environments, and communication between me and other people.
Although I’d realised that interpretation and translation prevented misunderstandings, I hadn’t recognised my language and culture were distinctly Autistic.
3/
On the second anniversary of my #autism diagnosis I wrote a thread about #bullying (not realising that it was my #autieversary at the time). It was very appropriate though, as bullying and abuse have had a huge impact on me, especially in adulthood. #ActuallyAutistic 3/
#Thread
Rebuilding a career after a late in life autism diagnosis.
Personal reflections of a very late discovered #ActuallyAutistic person, 4 years on.
1/
Burnout was a factor in me finally finding out I was autistic.
I’d become overwhelmed and exhausted.
I’d drifted to a halt, and then couldn’t get going again.
I was overloaded by being bullied at work, being in perimenopause, unresolved trauma and my partner’s serious illness.
2/
A demanding new job immediately after my diagnosis didn’t kickstart recovery from burnout like it would have done previously.
What the psychologist had told me about taking ‘baby steps’ was true, even though I didn’t want it to be.
I finally realised I couldn’t afford not to.
3/
#Thread
Why it’s sometimes difficult to know how unwell I am.
A personal autistic perspective.
I’ve been feeling rotten since Sunday, with some kind of respiratory illness.
After 3 years of respite from colds and flu it came as a bit of a shock.
I haven’t had Covid yet either.
1/
I wasn’t too worried to begin with, as my partner was ill before me.
After 2 or 3 days he started to feel better, and I assumed I’d be the same.
Unfortunately I’ve been getting steadily worse.
Less energy.
More coughing.
Less desire to eat.
More sleeplessness.
Strange pains.
2/
I’m almost always in some kind of pain so that in itself isn’t a reliable indicator of being unwell.
Nor is severe fatigue, which occurs so regularly it seems normal.
I rely on objective symptoms like fevers, rashes and swellings.
Tests are a bonus, if they are available.
3/