When I got my #autism dx (at 35) and started trying to figure this stuff out, I scoured the Internet, researched standard “treatment” options, and searched high and low for anything that would help.
I was quickly frustrated that most autism services were only available to kids, but later learned that most of those were crap anyway. So, blessing in disguise.
That forced me to look for unorthodox solutions. To find my own way. And confront a lot of my assumptions, internalized ableism, and prejudice against using my emotions or body signals as any sort of useful information.
I also gradually figured out that what I wanted "treatment" for wasn't autism itself. It was the effects that being unrecognized and unaccepted had wrought in my life.
I had genuine mental health challenges, and lucked into a great therapist who helped with the trauma. She wasn't autistic, and didn't know much about it, but she listened and accepted me and showed true compassion and kindness, and helped me process the times I hadn't known that.
But I didn't need "treatment" for autism. What I wished for was help figuring out my sensory world, recovering from autistic burnout, how to get energy back, and other things. But those weren't problems with autism, but with trying to live an NT life.
I've been on this path for about seven years now, figuring myself out more and more, healing old traumas, dissolving internalized ableism, meeting my sensory needs, unmasking, and all of it gives me back a little more energy, more perspective, and freedom.
I am more at peace with myself than ever in my life. And also more motivated than ever to be a part of healing the world, one overlooked autistic at a time.
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🧵 Are you hiding your natural Autistic reactions from people? Maybe you've done that so much, for so long, that you don't even notice anymore. Here are the top 20 signs that you might be masking your autism.
So, where do these top 20 signs come from? In November and December of 2022, mostly, I tweeted over 60 examples of everyday situations that might be signs that you’re masking your autism.
These tweets were a hit for a while, and thousands of people commented, liked, and engaged with them, and I’ve been wanting to make a roundup of the top 20 ever since. Which is this!
Also, all comparisons (more, increased, longer, etc) are using YOUR personal best functional time in life as a baseline. This is not a comparison to others, this is a comparison to you alone.
In no particular order:
2/26
Low energy.
Exhaustion.
Sleep disruptions, lack of sleep, or sleeping all the time without feeling rested.
3/26
If don't know what's going on inside come on you can't tell when you are pushing too hard, or what things are affecting you, or how, whether your being your masked or unmasked self, etc.
2/7
People ask me all the time how to get better at this stuff and it's actually pretty simple. Thought it does take time and attention.
Noticing what's going on in one single body part in this particular moment, creates associations between that sensation and its meaning.
3/7
Recognize that things are going to have to change eventually. You may not be able to quit your kids or your family or even this job, but something is going to have to change.
You can't heal in the environment that made you sick.
1. You can make a lot of gains for free, with little or no extra time, by picking apart and dissolving the untrue thoughts that are causing you pain.
You can do this even when the kids and loud and you're cleaning up peach juice flung against the wall, or your boss is raging.
Notice even tiny moments when there's no panic attack, and stress is a tiny bit lower. Simply remind yourself in the slightly better moments that it is slightly better.
As opposed to just waiting for it to be bad again, or discounting that it is slightly better because it's worse a lot of the time.
2/4
Whatever we focus our attention on, our attention will focus on that more. So, if you're focusing just on how bad it is, you'll be reinforcing how bad it is. But if you focus on the fact that this moment is slightly better, there's a feeling of 'it can get slightly better.'
3/4
I've recovered from two severe, years-long burnouts, and several weeks-to-months-long ones. I've also been burnout free since 2015!
Over the last few years, I've been helping others create their own versions of this journey.
Everyone is unique, and every recovery journey is unique. Nevertheless, there are some pretty consistent patterns, and my pattern-loving brain has synthesized my own take on what it takes to get out of burnout, and stay out.