🗣 Rob Rosenberger Profile picture
Jan 5 10 tweets 8 min read
"in which I address some criticisms (some fair, others not)" ⤵️🤨

Let's talk cybersecurity.

Historically, those who were critiqued felt victimized. These victims often lumped non-critique #heckling with legit #criticism to shield their egos.

The use of #comedy tools in…
…legitimate criticism led many (perhaps most) victims in #cybersecurity to cry out that humor negates legitimacy: "the stakes are too high for <THIS|ME>to be taken so lightly!"

Yet these same victims adore e.g. Jon Oliver for his brutal use of #comedy in legitimate criticism.
And here we arrive at the crux of the matter:

The victims, not the #elements of legitimate #criticism, decide what is "fair" in cybersecurity.

This way, anything that is not ✌️criticism✌️ may be labeled as such so victims can associate legit critics to their SCUM counterparts.
If you exclude our legitimate critics, then "we in cybersecurity" typically agree a victim deserves the last word--

--upon which a victim historically addresses #hecklers and #critics in the same breath.

Because (as I proved above), critics are SCUM. Just ask…
Jamie Kennedy if you don't believe me. He starred in "Son Of The Mask" (2005).

So victimized was Kennedy by criticism of his celluloid masterstroke that he filmed a documentary using Perlroth's preface. Check out the SCUM critic @JimEmerson's review at RogerEbert.com:
Yet the global #cybersecurity industry is not like the global movie industry where large corporations and small-time actors alike embrace their legitimate critics and refuse to allow sexual predators to manage their conferences & awards ceremonies--

Shit. Where's the delete key?
Yet the global #cybersecurity industry is not like the global movie industry that sells only the best products to its consumers like "Attack Of The The Eye Creatures" and shuns any Russian or Chinese influence over its plots & scripts--

Shit. Where's the delete key?
Yet the global #cybersecurity industry is not like the global movie industry that started out as vaudeville until they grew large enough without ethical oversight to move their operations to California and New York--

Shit. Where's the delete key?
Okay, forget that. So anyway…

Perlroth will pick & choose the #hecklers and #critics she feels deserve her valid attention. I imagine she'll approach both with the same #gravitas, associating critics with their--

[legit critics enter the room]

Shit. Where's the delete key?
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More from @vmyths

Dec 19, 2022
553 days ago, Steve Morgan's astronomically large yet unexplained #guesstimate for "the cost of cybercrime" exceeded the entire U.S. national debt.

Morgan has bragged that his wild-ass guess is already larger "than the global drug trade":
1/🧵
"Staggering" is ✌️right✌️ — it amazes me how often Steve Morgan's absurdities #dupe cyber experts like @dralissajay, @WaleMicaiah, @lhmphaphuli, @KenBeattyJr, @eSentire, @LilyLopate, etc.

So, let's chart him against the GLOBAL GROSS DOMESTIC PRODUCT
2/🧵
This chart plots Steve Morgan's asinine #guesstimates against WorldBank.org's figures for the 2015-2021 Global Gross Domestic Product with projections up to 2024. For 2025 onward, these charts show a 2.5% increase from an acceptable 2-3% for a healthy global GDP.
Read 10 tweets
Dec 16, 2022
Yes: John McAfee.

What we call "the cybersecurity industry" [d]evolved from the #antivirus industry that formed in 1988 when John proposed "NCSA" as a media con game. It later split in two (think "Good/Evil Kirk"), and the good stuff became what we know today as ICSA Labs.
John's antics appealed to reporters infatuated with the newfangled idea of a computer virus. Some vendors (e.g. Solomon's) shunned it but others (e.g. Panda) couldn't help but play along.

Still, the allure of media exposure tainted nearly everything it touched. There was no…
…ethical foundation in these early days. SANS formed to fill this hole but it struggled at first to make inroads. The late @howardas formed an ethics team inside the White House that ultimately vetted SANS, and he pushed it with every fiber of his being.
Read 5 tweets
Nov 28, 2022
Let's talk cybersecurity #jokes while we still can.

You probably don't take on a company like @McAfee or a person like @CybersecuritySF like *I* do. But most of you DO enjoy a joke that uses #sarcasm, #burlesque, #irony, and/or #satire to make its point…
thehill.com/opinion/judici…
…and that's something I've done in our industry for three decades. PC Magazine columnist @THErealDVORAK labeled me "a comic provocateur" for using the comedian's tools of the trade. My "#antivirus industry persona" predates The Colbert Report. I was…
…blogging about the #antivirus industry before Google's formation. My 120+ "audio rants" predate YouTube. My website visitors routinely crippled what you know as Mae West. I got snapped up at *the* apex of the Internet bubble and I laughed all the…
Read 11 tweets
Aug 4, 2022
1/🧵
An innocent questioner came to me asking "Why do you start [see chart below] at 2021?"

And it stumped me. Because I've studied Steve Morgan's tweets enough to know he's touted "$3 trillion" since at least 2018.

So, why DID I start at 2021? Quite simply…
2/🧵
…I had Morgan's more recent #guesstimates in front of me when I first decided to "chart the math."

Really, though, his multi-trillion $$$ guesstimates date back to 2016. And they're not … exactly … "scientific," if you know what I mean:
3/🧵
Morgan's original multi-trillion $$$ #guesstimate waffled as it [d]evolved from 2016 through 2017 depending on whom he cited:
Read 16 tweets
Jul 1, 2022
Monthly reminder that I study today's global medical PANdemIC through the lens of many past computer virus panics. Click the "panic button" to read more!
twitter.com/i/events/12437…
1/18
Yesterday was #NickoSilar's birthday. Our industry spouts an #UrbanLegend that she died in a hospital #ransomware attack … yet the truth is a bit complicated for our collective reductionist beliefs.

Let's study the facts surrounding this baby's tragic death, shall we? Image
2/18
First, I need to caveat my role in this sad affair. I offer my expertise pro bono to the law firm representing the attending physician who delivered #NickoSilar on that fateful day. My specific goal is to protect Dr. Parnell from Springhill Medical Center's legal team.
Read 19 tweets
Jun 26, 2022
This thread pays homage to every woman by name in the U.S. who got arrested by state police because she installed a period tracking app on her cell phone:

0.

Remember this when somebody tells you to "delete any period tracking apps you use!" #ASCII46
28K retweets for this hysterical advice to delete period tracker apps because state police can now haul women off to menstrual concentration camps
If you followed #hysterical advice to delete your period tracking app--

--you must also leave your phone in the car when you visit the DMV. It doesn't matter which state b/c they all provide "interloping database access" to other states.

Bored in the DMV? A small price to pay!
Read 9 tweets

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