QALA's twin brother dies in utero, which is a big shock to her mother Urmila Manjushri, who blames Qala for taking away all the nutrition from her brother in utero & even tries to smother her. Qala becomes an unwanted child in the process.
2. Critical parenting
Though her mother tries to teach Qala the art of music, she is never satisfied and goes to on to punish her by keeping her out of the house in the chilling snow as Qala is not able to perform to her satisfaction.
3. Need for validation
Qala's father dies before even she is born & her mother never displays affection, which the child craves. It is the duty of the parents to offer love & validation to the child, but since this doesn't come easily, Qala continues to seek validation.
4. Insecure attachment
There's a very poignant moment when Qala tells her mother that she should love her. Her mother becomes angry, & turns away. Qala runs after her saying, "Sorry, mumma."
This is a perfect depiction of an insecure attachment between a mother & child.
5. Rivalry between siblings
Qala's chances of seeking validation only rest on one thing- becoming a great singer.
But these chances become even slimmer when Jagan, an orphan, enters the scene who is shown to be a much better singer.
Urmila sees in Jagan, the son she never had.
Rivalry between siblings
Qala grows up hating Jagan not for the fact he is a better singer but only because she doesn't receive the mother's love.
6. Going any extent to receive the love
In her need to upstage Jagan, she mixes mercury in the milk she offers to Jagan, by which Jagan loses his voice. She just wants a chance for validation. It's hard to empathize with Qala, but you can't hate her either.
Qala is even willing to sacrifice her dignity for the sake of getting a chance to perform, which would eventually lead to musical glory in the hope that, finally, her mother will validate her existence.
7. Identifying with just one trait
Jagan, an orphan, grows up believing that his voice is his only identity in an otherwise unfair world. The moment he loses his voice, he decides to end his life. Qala is shocked to learn that.
8. Success is not happiness
After Jagan's death, Qala upstages him as the best singer.
She becomes an acclaimed singer going on to win a prestigious award, but still, the love she craves for, her mother's approval, never comes. She is never happy despite the success.
9. Importance of mental health
Qala's mental health is shown to be on the decline. She has hallucinatory experiences & reaches out for help. But she doesn't receive mental health help & instead a doctor dismisses it saying- "Aap jyada sochiye mat. Aap jyada sensitive hai!"
If you have reached till here & haven't yet watched the movie, I would recommend you strongly to watch it. The cinematography, direction & acting are all world-class.
And what should I say about music?
It's out of this world! ❤️
Go watch this gem!
Thank you for this too 👇🏼
"You're so skinny!"
"You're so fat!"
We have all either said that/heard that.
But here's why I believe that commenting upon someone's physical attributes in a social setting is not a good idea..
A 🧵
1/n
✔️ There could be various uncontrollable reasons behind person's weight issues- we have a tendency to assume that it is just because of overeating/poor lifestyle/lack of exercise. So when we make such a comment, it could be really triggering for many people.
2/n
✔️ We all perceive such comments differently. A person may take a comment about his increased weight as a challenge for himself while for another person it could be a blow to their self-esteem.
3/n
A 🧵 on #NewYearResolutions and 10 rules on how to follow through on it.
Purposely writing this on day 8 of the new year so that only those genuinely wanting to work on themselves will read it.
I am only mentioning things that have helped me personally!
Read on. 👇🏼
1/n
Research about New Year Resolutions suggests that 23% of people quit/drop out in 1st week.
Only 36% people make it till 2nd month.
Only 8% are able to successfully keep up their resolutions!
2/n
So, should you really be keeping the New Year Resolutions despite knowing that the chances are as low as 8%?
As Akshay Kumar's character says in one of his finest movies, Baby, "Mai 1% pe bhi jaata hu!"
Even if the chances of success are 1%, it's better than never trying!
3/n
A 60 year old lady was brought by her daughter to my OPD a couple of months ago.
In the field of psychiatry, how a person enters, gives us a clue about the clinical condition.
When a patient walks in himself v/s when a patient is 'brought by' someone makes a difference.
1/n
Generally, though not a rule:
> a patient coming himself, means he has some understanding of what is happening to him
> & when a patient is forced/coaxed by the relatives to visit a Psychiatrist, it would mean that the patient is either in denial or not in touch with reality.
2/n
So this lady and her daughter walked in, and I started to take the history.
The old lady didn't utter a word but kept crying. She clearly looked disturbed.
When I asked the daughter, she reported to me that her mother had been having some issues for the last couple of months.
3/n
I recently had a middle-aged man come to my OPD.
He appeared quite nervous and hesitant.
I asked him how I could be of help and this is what happened next.
1/n
He asked me if I provide counseling.
I said yes.
He told me me that his daughter needed psychotherapy.
I asked him the reason for it.
2/n
He said, "Sir I have a 25 year old daughter and she has all the symptoms of being a lesbian!
She doesn't like boys and is only interested in girls."
I listened to him patiently.
3/n
Our society has always portrayed man as a stronger gender; one who is physically strong, doesn’t cry & is emotionally stronger. This myth not only makes men weaker but also pressurizes them to succumb to live up to the ideals of society. Look what has happened due to this-
1/n
Suicide is amongst the top 3 contributors to mortality amongst men in the age group of 15 to 44 years across all geographical areas.
Suicide rates are 2-3 times higher in males compared to females. Men adopt more severe means to die by suicide. 2/n
Social isolation, unemployment, rejection, loss of relationships, poor academics, untreated mental illness, drug abuse are some of the most common causes of increasing suicides in males.
Here are some signs of suicide to be aware of in men near you- 3/n
While this is an absolutely sad news, an important thing that we should not fail to notice is the lack of communication between husband and wife.
He hadn't told her about his job loss for more than 6 months. 1/n
This isn't something new.
Many men I meet attach their value and self worth to their "package".
And when that ceases to exist it can come as a real blow.
They start to feel inferior and ashamed of themselves.
2/n
The volatility in the capitalist world is such that we are all dispensable.
The companies that we are working for, don't care for us.
Let's not define our self worth by it.
Let's not be ashamed to talk about our failures.
3/n