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Owen Ellickson @onlxn
, 15 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
dreading my own Star Wars opinions
great news: it turns out my opinions about the new Star Wars movie are terrific
Star Wars characters don’t spend enough time going “this place is WEIRD! holy shit, that thing is WEIRD!”
i mean i know they’re used to there being different planets but still some of them, to some of them, would be weird!
the craziest character in Star Wars history is the guy who tastes a new planet and goes “salt.” fucking lunatic
KYLO: The Resistance is over, and the Jedi will die forev—
SOLDIER: (tastes planet)
KYLO: Why’d you do that?
SOLDIER: I dunno.
KYLO: ...Jesus
LUKE: Every part of that was wr—
KYLO: That guy just ate dirt.
LUKE: What?
SOLDIER: It’s fine. It’s salt.
KYLO: YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT!
SOLDIER: Just go... go back to what you guys were doing.
LUKE: Dude. Don’t taste a new planet. I mean, who— (chuckles)
KYLO: Right?!
LUKE: What’s your deal? You w/ them?
KYLO: He is NOT my guy. Ew.
LUKE: You do this a lot?
SOLDIER: No!
LUKE: (closes eyes) You’ve tasted 14 planets
LUKE: This is only the beginning—
SOLDIER: I’m an introvert, OK?
KYLO: Don’t start w/ that shit.
LUKE: Yeah. That’s not why you ate dirt
LUKE: Saying “introvert” doesn’t mean you can just do whatever.
KYLO: Seriously. Who raised you?
SOLDIER: Bantar Foth
LUKE: Dude he wasn’t actually asking
LUKE: So which one’s the tastiest?
SOLDIER:
KYLO: Answer him!
SOLDIER:
LUKE:
SOLDIER: Kashyyk
LUKE: The Wookiee planet? No shit.
SOLDIER: Delicious. Do yourselves a favor.
KYLO:
LUKE:
SOLDIER: Not both. I mean, whoever wins the... thing
SOLDIER: Good luck guys
LUKE: You’re saying that to *both* of us?
SOLDIER: Sorry. Just Luke.
LUKE:
SOLDIER: Good luck Luke
KYLO: (sotto) so weird
as for the movie: i: LIKED it
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More from @onlxn see all

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in addition to supporting and listening and engaging politically, there is another thing my fellow dudes and I can do: look around our respective worlds and double-check for assault survivors whose stories we may have shrugged off
what the GOP is doing is historically ugly in one sense, but in another sense it's life as usual: dudes shrugging and not involving themselves in women's pain. "I know him. I don't know her." "who knows what happened." "not my business"
this is hardly the first time a woman has come forward against a powerful assaulter, only to see him avoid consequences thanks to the silence of men around him. this happens in every industry. there are several recent examples in mine
Read 14 tweets
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lmao, just remembered "William Bigelow" was the Breitbart pseudonym of BEN SHAPIRO'S DAD
in this 2012 article Shapiro erroneously identified a former Gitmo detainee as the perpetrator of a suicide bombing in Israel. once this was proven false, instead of correcting the slander they changed the byline to Shapiro's dad's pseudonym instead. goddamn brain geniuses
PS: this is literally the case. "William Bigelow," author of several articles defending and valorizing Ben Shapiro, was actually David Shapiro, Ben's dad. incredible alpha move to have your dad ooh & aah over you under a fake name politico.com/blogs/on-media…
Read 11 tweets
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facts feelings etc, but I do feel bad for Ben here. he stumbled onto a lucrative grift as a teenager, but he’s a Valley kid... he wants to be a real boy again. but whenever he gets close he’s undone by things he’s done & said. tragic!
when he watches Jordan Peterson and Dave Rubin bray at each other across a bar table, part of Ben thinks, “this is boring and it sucks. there’s a better life than this.” part of Ben wants out. he wants the malign things he’s done & said to not count. but, the thing is: they do
Shapiro grew up thinking you could sling all the incendiary filth you wanted... it wouldn’t stop you from being “respectable” once you decided to be. he wasn’t wrong to think that. Buckley’s lionized. Buchanan was all over TV. shit, CNN hired Erick Erickson!
Read 7 tweets

Related threads

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1. I amplify a lot of fundraising requests. I know this may annoy some of my followers, but I want to take a moment to talk about why I do this. I considered snarking the screenshot posted below with a "Men On the Internet" tweet, but I think I should do this in a serious way.
2. I'm an advocate for the #Exvangelical community, which consists of people who have escaped fundamentalist/evangelical Christianity, an authoritarian and damaging form of Protestantism that upholds white supremacist patriarchy:

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Ok. Let’s try this out:

“Unlocking”

TF, NSFW, 18+

(TW for description of medical issues)
There’s an old song on the radio that gets you every time you hear it, from the very first line.

“My body is a cage”, it sings, and if that isn’t a fucking mood.
The lock on yours is an autoimmune disorder. It was genetic, the doctors explained. No one’s fault. No obvious trigger. It could have happened at age nine. It could have happened at ninety.

No cure. Just treatment.
Read 110 tweets
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Shit I...

I need this 2011 Ford e450 which is a bigass utility truckvan thing with tons of storage built into the back and also sides
Imagine, rough night outside, cold as hell, this thing rolls up, side compartments open revealing blankets, snacks, little pillows, handwarmers, and homeless folk could come rest in the back where it's warmer
Would be excellent medical station at an occupation protest too
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The Unholy Corruption Behind Brexit: What Do Brexiters want?
Brexiters lie about everything. Johnson, Gove, Davies, Mogg, Baker - they have all been caught lying. And why? Because the truth about their desire for Brexit is too unpalatable for the electorate to swallow. It involves the complete destruction of the post war consensus.
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Things that surprised/amazed me about Japan, an ongoing thread.

(More likely UI than food, but you know this already.)

It’s my first time here. Please comment away and/or point out my cultural insensitivities!
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2. Very nice and clean train from the airport, with power sockets, and vending machines onboard.

Tons of solar panels passed by on the way.
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Happy Saturday, family. A notice that tomorrow’s #MusicSermon will be EARLY, due to the Grammy’s.
I’ll give ya’ll an estimated time later. Please govern yourselves accordingly.
Amen. ⛪️
Happy Sunday ya’ll! As I mentioned yesterday, we’re doing an EARLY service today in observation of the Grammy’s. Doors of the church will open around 4. ⛪️
Be with ya’ll in a few. In the middle of my *own* Grammy prep 😬
I’ll be settled in a bit.
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