Thread by @crabcrawler1

WEEKEND

🚨🚨🚨MASSACRES COMING

JOE BIDEN'S FAULT

SAYS NBC

You gotta be fucking kidding me

"POTENTIAL TERROR THREATS"
"OPPOSITION TO COVID MEASURES"

"Afghanistan military units taking refuge in Iran" -- video from twitter.com/vali_nasr

"Taliban approach Kabul outskirts, attack northern city" arabnews.pk/node/1911031/p…

> Peace talks with the Taliban

Great job Biden

"Taliban Seize Kandahar, Prepare to March on Afghan Capital Kabul" wsj.com/articles/talib…

"Afghanistan on brink of 'humanitarian catastrophe', UN agencies say" reuters.com/world/asia-pac…

"Haiti hit by powerful earthquake" twitter.com/i/events/14265…

Buckle up

Won’t surprise me if Taliban take over everything in Afghanistan by Sunday night

woof

BIDEN goes for the "what difference does it make?" regarding Afghanistan. Wow.

OH BTW

3000? no it's an additional 5000 troops now cnn.com/webview/world/…

"Taliban take over control of Torkham"

GREAT WORK PRESIDENT BIDEN

"The last major city in northern Afghanistan fell to the Taliban on Saturday night, marking the complete loss of the country’s north to the Taliban as the insurgents appear on the verge of a full military takeover."

"Trying to prevent a Dunkirk 2.0 moment. Threat reporting now coming in on Kabul airport, per WH official."

"Secretary Blinken's Call with Afghan President Ghani"

"Pro-TB sources claiming that Taliban inmates have attacked prison guards in Pul-e-Charkhi prison and there is rioting going on inside the prison. Gunshots also reported. VIDEO circulating on pro-TB channels." -- via twitter.com/Natsecjeff/

🚨🚨🚨🚨IT BEGINS, PER ABC:
"Taliban attacks on the outskirts of Kabul now"

"Taliban FM radio declares that government rejected to surrender. Announces full assault on Kabul. Says they are 4 kilometres from the city."

"Taliban inside General Dostum’s house." -- via twitter.com/bsarwary/

"The Taliban have captured Maraz-e-Sharif and are chilling at the {luxurious} house of a top commander of Afghan National Army Abdul Rashid Dostum." -- via twitter.com/m_suchkov/

"Visuals from #Uzbekistan border zone: Long convoy of ANDSF troops & Balkh officials waiting to cross into Uzbekistan after fleeing from #Mazar city in Balkh. #Afghanistan" -- via twitter.com/AadeshGindodiya

"Watch as the #Taliban capture Mazar-e-Sharif, a large, heavily-defended, strategic city in northern #Afghanistan. Commander-in-Chief Biden’s exit plans have created a fiasco. I even wonder if he knows what the word “plan” means!"-- via twitter.com/steve_hanke/

Breakdown of US troop numbers

IM GONNA KEEP TWEETING ABOUT AFGHANISTAN FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT

SO FOLLOW ALONG

"Britain prepares to end diplomatic mission in Afghanistan as Taliban close on Kabul" thetimes.co.uk/article/briton…

🚨🚨🚨REMINDER: As Kabul burns this weekend with the Taliban taking over, the Biden administration had other priorities.
- thepostmillennial.com/biden-executiv…
- thepostmillennial.com/president-bide…
- thepostmillennial.com/watch-russian-…

"Pul-e-Charkhi prison in Kabul moments ago" -- via twitter.com/OmidSobhni/

Hours ago. "Hamid Karzai International Airport in Kabul today. Mass exodus."

"WHY AREN'T THE AFGHANIS FIGHTING BACK?" asks the Biden administration in bewilderment.

🔥🔥🔥🔥

YES IM SURE TALKING WILL WORK

MEANWHILE the Taliban don't like "talking"

"VIDEO from inside Pul-e-Charkhi prison claimed to be from tonight." -- via twitter.com/Natsecjeff/

Who is also covering the Kabul/Afghanistan stuff and is probably more competent than me.

"Kabul city right now" -- via twitter.com/Akhan007/

"How does China play into the current Afghanistan situation"

here's a map. As you can see? China is closer to Pakistan and Afghanistan than many of you probably realize.

Also to make a distinction between ME as an internet crab, and other internet crabs, twitter.com/IntelCrab follows military stuff more regularly.

I'm just a general news crab who happens to be covering usual beat, given the significance of the occasion.

REMEMBER THIS FOR LATER:

90 days turned into 72 hours

NEVER FORGETTI

But seriously imagine being there in this mess today.

It's a clown show but also a tragedy

SHOUT OUT TO JEFF

Bottom Line: It's seriously ONLY KABUL left.

"Jalalabad, the last major city standing other than Kabul will be handed over to Taliban tomorrow without a shot being fired."

TALIBAN SPOKESPERSON: "If you worked with the 'invaders,' feel free to defect back to us."

SHIT

Power outage means no internet probably.

OH WELL we'll keep at it

"Biden administration tells US Embassy staff in Kabul to destroy US flags" thepostmillennial.com/biden-orders-a…

🔥🚨🚨🚨
> "SOMOLIA-LIKE OUTCOMES" for Kabul/Afghanistan

"Costs of the Afghanistan war, in lives and dollars" apnews.com/article/middle…

"this is how much you can rely upon the United States"

HE'S NOT WRONG

"MASSIVE CIVIL WAR"

HERE COME THE REFUGEES

"How the Taliban Overran the Afghan Army, Built by the U.S. Over 20 Years" archive.is/Do0DH

ONLINE CHATTER is accelerating

Hold on tight

AIRSTRIKES happening

no video so use your imagination

SCROLL UP after clicking the tweet im linking to you here. A neat little thread from some New York Times guy.

BILLIONS

twitter.com/EsteveGirbes01/ gives us a visual of what it's like at the moment.

"Helicopters fly over the Kabul sky. The power outages are located less than 6 km from the Presidential Palace."

"Al-Arabiya sources: The Taliban are approaching Kabul from its northern, southern and western axes"

EARLIER: "the Taliban might have seized around 70% of Afghan military equipments — all donated by the US."

TALIBAN attempting to negotiate with Afghan president.

O__O

"‘We Are Powerless’: Joe Biden Official Deletes Social Media Post Admitting Failure in Afghanistan" breitbart.com/politics/2021/…

BIT OF A LULL IN THE NEWS AT THE MOMENT

Hope you enjoy the thread though

can't source this

but sure maybe

Ooooo

👀👀👀

this basically

and now we wait a smidge

AP's report in the meantime apnews.com/article/lifest…

REMINDER: CRABMAN TRIES TO USE SKEPTICISM IN TIMES LIKE TODAY

🚨🚨DRAMATIC UPDATE ON SITUATION IN KABUL/AFGHANISTAN

Translated: this tweet shows us that Biden has lost credibility with even the ESTABLISHMENT folks

IN OTHER Kabul news of the moment

"Former CIA director General Petraeus calls situation in Afghanistan ‘catastrophic’" foxnews.com/politics/forme…

Will they even get there in time?

Trump remarks.

Disgrace.

Believable

"Australian-educated Afghans plea with ministers for visas to Australia" theguardian.com/world/2021/aug…

RUMOR: "Turkey has decided to evacuate military and civilian missions in Kabul in the coming hours."

Worth looking into!

I have been refreshing my usual search terms for the past hour

Crab man is now entering "stand by" mode. If something exciting happens, tweet it at me. Then I'll activate my almonds.

Thank you for choosing Crab Man for your Twitter needs.

Sharing since this wonderful person privated himself

"Special Forces will get UK ambassador out of Kabul by Sunday night amid fears Taliban will take Kabul airport in days" dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9…

cool i can safely celebrate being over 5000 followers now

Me and Twitter dot com

We still going in Kabul huh

Good morning Vietnam

We’re in the thick of it now fellas

🚨🚨🚨🚨

Chaos

“Will haunt us for times to come”

Taliban interviewing with CNN

"they didn't have any ideology except fleecing the Americans."

ICYMI

Everything is on fire

SAIGON 2.0 stripes.com/incoming/2021-…

THANKS PRESIDENT BIDEN

🤡 🤡 🤡

FURTHER REPORT confirming that the Afghan President and Vice-President have indeed fled the country

"Video of military helicopters evacuating US embassy in Afghanistan today." -- via twitter.com/JasonMBrodsky/

"Taliban spokesman tells BBC they are 'awaiting a peaceful transfer of power'" bbc.com/news/av/world-…

See? what did I tell you all. It was done within the weekend!

🚨🚨CNN'S JAKE TAPPER GRILLS SECRETARY OF STATE BLINKEN

adios

i KNOW we all dunk on corporate media

But if Richard Engel is in Kabul RIGHT NOW? I respect that

"What's the status?"

UH well the Taliban are pretty much IN Kabul as it is.

^^ (see here)

LOL Harris wanted credit. politico.com/news/2021/04/2…

"More of Kabul in a grid lock. Bystanders told me they are gathering outside to see if today’s the day that Taliban would roll into Kabul and take over. One woman named Shakila tells me: “today is the end day of our lives”" -- via twitter.com/yamphoto/

✈️✈️✈️

Rest in peace

BLESS UP

“Flag is down. Gunfire at airport.”

🚨🚨🚨FOLLOW ME TO CATCH UP ON KABUL AND AFGHANISTAN 🚨🚨🚨

SUMMER IS OVER

*except for Biden

Shame!

Why do people go on the internet and tell lies

BREAKING

SITUATION ON THE GROUND IN KABUL

TRANSFER OF POWER TIME

Biden had one deadline yet the Taliban made their own. And they won.

Yeah that isn’t “we’ve chosen a new Pope” type of smoke

🚨🚨🚨

“What’s the situation in Kabul currently?”

If you want an article to chew on instead theguardian.com/world/live/202…

Biden should be “COMMENDED” ?

For his “clarity”?

This must be a joke statement from Pelosi.

Because MEANWHILE this is the scene in Kabul

LATEST UPDATE

O__O

REMINDER that there’s gonna be a ton of refugees outta this Afghanistan situation

MIGHT GET UGLIER

Good luck with that one

Status of the moment in Kabul

THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS axios.com/scoop-joint-ch…

Political people fleeing

IRONY LEVELS MAXIMUM

If you want to know why the Kabul takeover is historic?

It keeps coming back to this comparison.

🚨🚨IT'S PRETTY MUCH OVER LOL

"Taliban officials sitting at the desk of now former Afghan president Ashraf Ghani..."

Can only put so much lipstick on this situation before you run out of lip

🤔🤔🤔🤔

ADD INSULT TO INJURY

"Biden’s Betrayal of Afghans Will Live in Infamy" theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/…

"My source sent me this video of all the Taliban prisoners being released ... this is #BidensAfghanistan Terrorists that many of our troops and Afghan troops captured free to start terror training camps again" -- via twitter.com/SaraCarterDC/

;__;

O__O LISTEN TO THAT PANIC
"This is happening right now aboard KamAir destined for Istanbul. (Video sent by a friend)" -- via twitter.com/saadmohseni/

"Video showing the state of confusion at the airport #كابل Afghan collaborators with the US embassy and other European embassies are being transported with their families to the UAE's Al Dhafra air base." -- via twitter.com/sameer_alnamri/

TALIBAN announces they know what bad optics looks like and are trying to reassure the people fleeing that it's all good man

MEANWHILE

CURRENT KABUL STATUS

FLASHBACK

"Quran recitation by the Taliban inside the presidential palace" -- via twitter.com/evanhill/

"Biden’s Afghanistan Exit Raises Questions About His Foreign-Policy Record" wsj.com/articles/biden…

Taliban redecorating

Taliban making themselves officially "moved in" to Kabul

Reminder that this Afghanistan/Kabul situation has people in it.

TALIBAN LEADER IN KABUL SAYS THEY CAME FROM GUANTANAMO BAY

WHICH OF OUR LOVELY USA PRESIDENTS LET THEM OUT?!?

McConnell statement

"In the check-in area and at the security controls of the airport of #Kabul there is no one left. Everyone is on the runways trying to get on a plane and run away from Afghanistan" -- via twitter.com/oscardiazdlian…

oh shit people are stranded

🚨🚨🚨PEOPLE ARE STRANDED AT KABUL AIRPORT🚨🚨🚨

Taliban "celebrating inside the Governor’s House in Kandahar, Afghanistan." -- says twitter.com/TarekFatah/

If I make this a Twitter moment this will be the likely thumbnail

PENTAGON throwing 1000 more troops at Afghanistan problem

TALIBAN ROLLING ON IN TO KABUL, says twitter.com/MJalal700

"No country has ever really done what we did here. No country has ever deliberately chosen and charted a course into its own humiliation when there was no national demand for withdrawal above all things." commentary.org/john-podhoretz…

Saw a video with a bunch of dead bodies

Not posting it here because Crab Man doesn't do gore

Not in the Twitter thread at least, we're trying to stay clean

anyway. Taliban have already taken over the TV stations and are getting to work.

KABUL might be taken over, but the WHIPLASH of politics in the wake of this?

Yeah this Twitter thread will continue for a long LONG time

"Biden officials admit miscalculation as Afghanistan's national forces and government rapidly fall" cnn.com/2021/08/15/pol…

SHIT IS STILL BAD IN KABUL by the way

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
"Thousands of men and women entered Kabul airport with the intention of leaving, amid the sounds of gunfire and the overflight of a military plane - with the aim of breaking up the gathering -. Currently there are no foreign flights." -- via twitter.com/S7RZ/

Taliban formally declares victory

Elsewhere

Biden's fault.

Just sitting back and watching

Somebody (gently) sit down with Mia Khalifa one day soon and explain all this stuff to her.

"The Kabul Immigration right now 💔" -- via twitter.com/RuchiKumar/

REMINDER AGAIN about the lives of the people in the Kabul crisis.

People have yelled at me for criticizing Biden too hard.

But rest assured. Crab man sees Boris Johnson too.

"The 82nd Airborne Division of the United States is now deployed in Kabul airport amidst a state of panic and fear of what is coming." -- via twitter.com/theragex

"Another Saigon moment: chaotic scenes at Kabul International Airport. No security. None." -- video via twitter.com/saadmohseni/

"who is the new President of Afghanistan?" is an ongoing question that has lasted throughout the day.

This newest report seems the most credible, thus far.

REMEMBER there's more beautiful people out there with great coverage

AND STICK AROUND after this is over in Kabul. I do general news threads every day.

... it just got especially complicated this weekend.

> Inclusive

LOL

If this story is true give that British Ambassador a knighthood

^ "why the knighthood?"
Because this is the situation in Kabul at the moment.

PENCE publishes a statement

😂😂BIG IF TRUE
(DON'T blame Crab man, some guy from The Economist pointed this out!)

TRUMP releases new statement mocking Biden for dropping the ball on Afghanistan

I read this tweet and think back to the pile of dead bodies i saw earlier in a video

"Video of the scene outside of the White House" -- via Tim Perry of CBS News twitter.com/tperry518/

OK COOL so it WAS a bad idea for the Biden WH to tweet this particular picture....

adding this video in for posterity

🚨🚨🚨NEW video of the scene in Kabul this evening via a German television correspondent.

see twitter.com/NatalieAmiri/ for more

"Afghan human rights activist to me right now: You don't know how the Americans treat us. They point their guns at us and yell at us. And are just pushing us out of the area again" -- via twitter.com/NatalieAmiri/

"'PLEASE HELP US:' Canadian embassy security worker pleads for help as Taliban move in" torontosun.com/news/please-he…

it's impossible to process the implications of everything that went on this weekend

> Next few days
> days
> DAYS

Well there's that.

THIS IS A PHOTOSHOP
"how can you tell?"

the NOISE on the flag does NOT match the rest of the scene.

Wherever that image of the flag was taken from? It was much CLOSER UP.

In this photoshop, someone downsized it

WHAT THE F*CK
"Shooting in the air by US soldiers at an airport #كابل , in an attempt to control thousands of Afghans who want to escape" -- video via twitter.com/ShehabAgency/

TAKING ANOTHER DRINK

“Now I have to burn everything I achieved.”

🚨🚨🚨“We’ve heard more from the Taliban than we’ve heard from Biden.”

More

SIDE THREAD