Thread by @CSojourner

#Chess evolved as a metaphor for society. Every pawn aspires to become a queen. That's how we tempt them to be first into the fray and take the brunt of the battle. Little do they know the chances of changing their status are slim to none. So long as the king lives nobody cares.

Knights, they are brave, they are bold, they jump over friends & foe to get right to the heart of the battle, they can strike here, and over there too & you don't want one on your side of the board! They step to the side when they stop, that's what horses do when reined in short!

In many a gambit the knight is willing to give his life for any small advantage, they often sacrifice themselves! Thanatos is strong in knights! If you must choose between a knight or a bishop let the knight go, bishops work better in pairs, being blind to all but their own view!

The pawns, you know, they are so ambitious, some of them even take two steps on their first move, so eager are they to advance into the fray! But once they've seen the battle lines, they are less bold, they can only be pushed one step at a time. A passed pawn should be pushed.

The Queen is the only chess piece that has a name, and her name is "Lorraine", she is named after a 16th Century Queen of France, and that's why when you check the Queen, you say, "Lorraine!" (Meaning protect your Queen! If only you can!) Both black and white Queens are so named.

Oh did I forget to tell you why the pawns move on the ranks, but they attack on the diagonals? It's because they are infantry, the foot soldiers carry a shield, and they must move their shield to the side and stab around it. Art imitates life and #Chess imitates life too!

Did you know that the knight can reach every square on the board without touching the same square twice? There is a variation chess players use to train themselves to have vicious knights called #KnightsTour. Ya need 64 pennies & one knight. To win touch and mark each square.

Another chess variation used as training exercise for the power of pawns is called #PeasantsRevolt. It's named after a historical revolt of English surfs in 1381. Pawns are the backbone of chess! White plays only a king & 8 pawns, black gets one pawn, a king & 3 knights! Toss up!

Ah ha hah hah ha! Chess is a metaphor for life! Those clerics, always trying to whisper in the royal ear!

The rooks are the four corners of the universe since the board is the universe! They are the royal castles! The King & Queen both have one! The King can run to hide in either castle, but the Queen's castle is harder to defend, because of an unsupported pawn on the flank.

When castling the King retreats to one of the castles. Queen does not have this option. He can't do it if he is in check, passes thru check, or if he or the castle has ever been moved. It's the only time the king is allowed 2 steps so you must touch him first, then swap the rook!

Now the queens, as I said, are reckless if they go out too early! They are terrible gossips, so if some pawns are coronated, and so there are too many queens on a crowded board, you may end up with a stalemate! It's better to underpromote sometimes. As often happens in business.

I apologize for getting carried away about #Chess tonight, it's a slow night, and I've loved this game for more than 65 years! I learned how to play when I was five. My father told me I was too young to learn, but I could be allowed to watch if I would sit still and be silent.

I'll tell you a secret about #chess! People think men play a stronger game, and frequently they do! At #ChessOlympiad teams are divided into men's teams and women's teams. I know the reason why men often play a stronger game. They are more competitive & often are trained younger.

I had not seen my One True Love in 2 months because I'd been playing chess in Europe. When I came home I wanted a quick haircut before he laid eyes on me. I had no beauty salon appointment, but I passed by a barber shop and I thought, a haircut is a haircut, so I stopped...

As I entered the shop, I noticed the barber had a chess set all set up ready to go. I challenged him but he laughed and said, "Women don't play chess very well! I've never seen a woman play as well as a man! No woman has ever beat me!" I told him I'd be happy to be his first! So

he made me a bet, if I won, the haircut was free, if he won, I'd pay double! Seven moves later, I said checkmate. He was so excited as he cut my hair for free, he said, "I've never seen anything like that, clip, clip, clip, clip, and soon, I was nearly bald and had to buy a wig.

My daughter, who played Olympic chess at age 14, tells of her first great win. She says she never had to win another game because she won this one. She was 13 yrs old, she says, "Mama, I was in the bar where you had your chess club, talking to the bartender, watching your game.

In came a man with a tournament set tucked under his arm. He sashayed right up to the bartender and asked for you. He said he had taken the ferry from St Croix to St Thomas to play against you. He was gunning for you, Mama, like a shark! Like a #ChessSlinger!

The bartender pointed you out & he went right over and challenged you! I heard you say, "Sure, when this game is done, meanwhile, why don't you play my daughter, she's over there." and you pointed at me! He looked dubiously at innocent lil me. "Does she know the rules?" he asked

He came over and tried to tell me how to set up the pieces, checked to make sure I knew how the pieces moved, Mama, I assured him I did but he wouldn't believe, even after I had him on the defensive from the first move, he couldn't believe! It was a massacre and over quickly.

He packed up his chess set to leave, and I said, "Wait, don't you want to play my mother? She's done now." He answered, "No thanks if that's how you play, I don't want to play against your mother!" and he got back on the ferry and left."

Many Europeans think Americans are naive about Europe but don't let anybody gaslight you! In Saba, I played a Dutchman who tried to claim they had different castling rules in Holland. No, they don't. Chess is a universal language and @FIDE_chess dictates the rules the world over.

#Chess is a war game and very political. #Russians love it! This year @FIDE_chess planned to hold Olympiad in #Moscow, but fortunately, grandmaster @NigelShortchess talked them out of it, so now it's in Chennai India. Look how it went in Iran! #HolyHijabs!
sbs.com.au/topics/voices/…

#ChessOlympiad host countries get real excited about the honor! #Chennai painted their major bridge to look like a chessboard. I'm a little worried about that! Looks like it could make some drivers dizzy!

indiatvnews.com/trending/news/…

Oh, what I forgot to tell you about rooks is, if you can safely get one and then two on the 7th rank, do it! One rook on the seventh rank is decisive, but two rooks on the seventh rank are conclusive. In this example, no matter what black does, black loses.

I was jogging in a park in Yerevan, Armenia, one evening in 1996, after spending 7 grueling hours losing in tournament that day. I was still wearing my team shirt and my Olympiad badge. Armenia's independence from #Russia was only four years old.

On that day, Armenians thought it would be a good idea to overthrow their newly elected government. They dragged their new president into a basement and beat him with carpet rods! I got caught in a massive crowd sweeping by, bombs were going off, tanks & troops flooded the city!

I escaped the crowd and ran around the park, once, twice, then I noticed a soldier sitting under a tree, holding a rifle at ease. The next time I ran by, he stood up and put that rifle to my chest! He asked me in Russian, "are you a chessplayer?" "Da, ya shakhmatist!" I told him.

"I want to play you!" he told me, still holding the rifle at my solar plexus. "OK, I said, but if you lose, you can't shoot me!" He followed me back to my hotel, and lose he did, 3 times in a row, tho he scowled quite a lot, he did not shoot me, which is why I lived to tell you.

It's tough to be a fledgling nation! "Within minutes, troops began marching shoulder to shoulder up the street, firing assault rifles in the air, others shot automatic rifles in loud bursts. Troops also threw packets of explosives that sounded like cannon"
nytimes.com/1996/09/26/wor…