A handful of important lessons I’ve learned on life, family, and health. Goes without saying, I have learned these lessons from my personal experiences as from the experiences of others I know, read, and respect.
1. The present moment is all we have to create our life, and we have to prioritize things we want to do NOW. Regretting the past is like wasting time and energy on the impossible. And worrying about the future is like having no belief in your capabilities.
2. People would occupy a large part of your life, so choose those you want to spend your time with very-very carefully. Of course, as a wise person said, you can’t always control who walks into your life but, you can control which window you throw them out of.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Also, it’s important to learn from other people's mistakes than trying to make all on our own.
4. Accept who you are (unless you’re a serial killer), with all your shortcomings, fears, and doubts. Enjoy being you, and you will never be unhappy and lonely. There’s no point trying to fit into what others would think of you. No one has that time.
5. Accept others as they are (unless they’re serial killers), with all their side-effects. I’ve learned that it’s extremely difficult to change people (try changing your kids!). However, it’s easy to inspire people to change, from bad to good.
6. Accept that you will be wrong. Nothing hurts more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. Appreciate such moments, and move on. You lose nothing by losing an argument. In fact, you save a lot of time.
7. Failures are the stepping stones to success. Without failure, we’ll never learn how to succeed. So try to fail and fast, instead of trying to avoid failure through fear.
8. Patience is truly a virtue. Of course, patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead. But be painfully patient and you’ll often be rewarded. Being a parent has helped me a lot in building patience.
9. It’s important to slow down. Rushing is rarely worth it. Your life is too short to be wasted in the fast lane. Life is better enjoyed at a leisurely pace.
10. There are few joys that equal a good book, a good walk, a good hug, or a good friend. Try all of these at least once a day. They are all free.
11. Expect people to lie. We all lie, and then we rationalize our dishonesty by giving our lies nicer-sounding names to appease our conscience and ego. Expect others to do this as well. This is not about being negative or paranoid; it’s about being realistic and practical.
12. Let go of expectations. When we have expectations of something, we put it in a predesigned box that has little to do with reality. Try to experience reality as it is, appreciate it for what it is, and be happy that it is.
13. There’s far more happiness in giving than getting. I see selfless service or seva as the world’s most authentic and pure religion. Give with no expectation of getting something in return, and it becomes a beautiful act. Try to let go of that expectation, and just give.
14. Gratitude is one of the best ways to find contentment. We are often discontent in our lives, desire more, because we don’t realize how much we have. Instead of focusing on what we don’t have, let's be grateful each day. Also, if you feel gratitude towards someone, express it.
15. Do less. Learn to say ‘No’. Figure out what’s important. Stop being a machine and focus on what you love. Do it lovingly. When you do less, you accomplish more meaningful things in life. You also have less anxiety and more time and space.
16. Become aware of your fears. In our life, the issue is not really ‘fear’ but rather, what we do despite it. We can either get managed by fear or manage it. We can either give up or get up in the face of fear. Only when we are no longer fearful do we begin to live.
17. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is about. The more energy you waste comparing your life to someone else’s and trying to be like them, the less energy you have to be who you are. You are unique, and that's important to remember always.
18. Know what to avoid, and avoid it. Charlie Munger says, “Don’t do cocaine. Don’t race trains. And avoid all AIDS situations.” It’s important to know what we must avoid in life. Happiness follows the same path. To be happy, avoid unhappiness.
19. Your “family” is not just your spouse and kids. It also includes your parents. Don’t ever forget them. Respect them like you want your kids to respect you. Listen to them. They’ve lived longer than you, and they don’t just talk to hear themselves speak.
20. Another one from Munger - the best way to get a good spouse is to deserve a good spouse. So, be deserving.
21. You could be very happy with almost nothing if you had a loving family, and you weren’t competing with a lot of other people who had more than you did. Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.
22. Never walk away mad from a loved one. One moment someone is here and the next moment they might be gone. So treat every last word with loved ones accordingly.
23. Your child needs time with you. Life can pull you in a thousand directions, and you might ignore it especially when your child is little. Remember – Children don’t stay little for long. So, slow down…take some time…give some time…invest some time.
24. A good, slow walk cures most problems. Want to lose weight and get fit? Walk. Want to enjoy life but spend less? Walk. Want to cure stress and clear your head? Walk. Having trouble with a life or work problem? Walk.
