Harpreet Profile picture
Apr 24, 2019 27 tweets 11 min read
118
Moving on with this thread.
Again!
119
To be fair, #NDTV probably wouldn't be the only one that confused 'Osama' with 'Obama'.
But that doesn't mean I'll not put this 'editorial gaffe' here for archival purposes!
120
Our editors have managed to defeat the Matrix by successfully introducing a 'glitch' that converts a drug addict into a drug addiction!
Here's proof!
121
Refer tweets 5 and 6 of this thread, and possibly another one or two apart from these.
Whenever we type the word 'TERRORIST', our computers automatically change it to a more 'humane' word.
In this case our computers chose to convert Terrorists into Citizens!
122
This one is offered without comment, our of sheer respect for their allegedly unbiased reporting!
123
Talking about inadvertent editorial gaffes .. THANK HEAVENS they only made him 'Sardad' Patel and not 'सरदर्द' Patel!
Because had they done it, one can only imagine the kind of reactions they might have received!
Shukr hai bach gaye!
Kasam Se!
124
Oh, btw, wrt the above tweet, I'll just copy and paste part of the text from tweet number 93 of this thread to save time!
"Sometimes I wonder would an allegedly renowned media house so proudly quote 'Foreign Media' in the main headline .. But then I tell myself, it is #NDTV!"
125
Further to tweets 5, 6 and 121 of this thread ..
This time a guy trained to kill Indian citizens gets branded a Worker!
Looks like the message that the 'T' word will NOT be used has really tickled the creativity bug in some good folks!
126
Btw, such a glamorous 'representative' photo of the alleged 'worker' made me do a google search.
Sure enough, the report on a terrorist's arrest carries a cropped / photoshopped photo of police officers!
127
Ah, Statistics!
We love them soooo much, 'coz they can always be suited to tell what we have on our alleged agenda!
Over here, #NDTV seems to be implying that govts in India are formed / felled based on vote percentages and NOT the absolute numbers of MPs!
128
Yo #NDTV so secular that a Pakistani Flag automatically changes to a flag RESEMBLING Pakistani flag!
This, when their OWN report says it is a Pakistani flag in the VERY FIRST SENTENCE!
129
^^
Heck, even the headline of the report says Pakistani Flag!
But, looks like the worker bee sitting on the twitter handle of our dear #NDTV didn't get the 'correct' message, Allegedly!
130
^^
Btw, ANI tweeted two pics with their report on the incident.
Guess which one did #NDTV choose to use for their own report!
(With due attribution to ANI, of course!)
131
VIRAL indeed!
Aud iss desh ke baaki maa baap toh apne bachchon par sirf chaabuk hee chalaate hain!
132
How in the world did the good folks at #NDTV manage to do this still baffles me!
My alleged conspiracy theory begins with the sentence, "One night an NDTV intern was feeling bored, so he went online and .."
🤣
133
God bless the person who allegedly created the word 'ALLEGED'!
Even @KanchanGupta ji agrees, allegedly!
134
BREAKING NEWS IS OUR DHARMA .. Fact checking comes secondary!
135
Murdered!
Somehow, I have my doubts the 'govt hand' actually used that word.
But then, he is and will always be anonymous, no?
136
Talk about reputations!
137
While we are on the subject of reputations, I guess this thread too has earned a bit, allegedly .. or would you say purportedly?
😂
138
To be fair, she wasn't the only one who celebrated the deaths of soldiers, in their blind hatred of a certain group of politicians.
But what are the odds that having served her two weeks of penance, she is back working for #NDTV?
139
^^
Just for the sake of archiving, here are the screenshots of what Nidhi Sethi, Deputy News Editor at #NDTV said in the aftermath of the #PulwamaAttack.
A truly sick mentality, this.
140
And then there was the time when the good folks at #NDTV turned Robert F. Kennedy into a Chinook helicopter!
Sheer magicians, I tell you!
142
But I have a confession to make .. I sometimes stay awake at night wondering if I am wasting my time chronicling the allegedly 'unique' brand of journalism of #NDTV, esp when NO ONE watches it in the first place!
143
Further to Tweet 26, I'll leave this thread for the time being with a screenshot of this tweet by @shivanginipatha!
Jai Hind!
*Aur

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More from @CestMoiz

Feb 20
:Thread:
Dear Shri @Twi77zler Ji from Erstwhile West Pakistan, I know I and my own Nation are far from perfect. But to hear about treatment of minorities from a Bhikharistani, of all peoples in this world, still made me do an actual Facepalm.
Let me enlighten you why.
🙏
But dear Shri @Twi77zler Ji, before moving ahead, let me just inform you that I'm putting your handle on mute because I am really not interested in whatever crap you have to spew.
Talking about crap, I'll just leave this thread here to keep u 'entertained'
Now back to the Facepalm moment. For that I will need to acquaint you with your beloved Bhikharistan's constitution which explicitly BARS minorities from the highest offices of the lands.
Here is what it says about qualifications to be the PM and the President of Bhikharistan
Read 38 tweets
Feb 6
Well Played, @HyundaiIndia!
I'm sure the higher ups of @Hyundai_Global must be mighty impressed at your prowess in going into hiding!
Atleast one thing I know for sure as far as my next car goes - It will NOT be a Hyundai!
Cheers!
Looks like this poorly photoshopped photo of Shri @iamsrk ji in front of some @HyundaiIndia product is going to be in circulation for much much longer than it would have been under normal circumstances, thanks to the brand that he endorses, endorsing Pakistan in return!
🤣
Disclaimer: This 'funny' video is in no way related to the top folks of @Hyundai_Global handing over control of their @HyundaiIndia and @Pakistan_Hyundai operations, including social media, to a bunch of nincompoop monkeys!
🤣

#BoycottHyundai
Read 13 tweets
Jan 15
Army of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan doing a dance that would make the patrons of Heera Mandi proud!
Some mighty frustrated folks, these, I must say!
🤣
This reply to the tweet above reminded me of something that I had seen some time ago. Let me share it with you all!
Here it is. A short news report.
Gives some more perspective to the above comment.
Totally worth the 77 seconds of your life that it asks for. But if you don't have even that much to spare, just watch the last 5 seconds!
Totally worth it.
I promise!
🤣
Read 8 tweets
Jan 14
1/5
Today is the 261st anniversary of the Third Battle of Panipat.
Ahmed Shah Durrani would defeat the Marathas in a series of battles over next few days Image
2/5
However, own losses would force Durrani to sue for peace soon thereafter.
3/5
Photo: Third Battle of Panipat, 14 Jan 1761, Hafiz Rahmat Khan, standing right of Ahmad Shah Durrani, who is shown sitting on a brown horse Image
Read 6 tweets
Jan 13
Welcome to Social Media!
Where a non-existent controversy / outrage is just one photoshop / filter away!!
Jai Ho!!
Iss hafte ke liye yehi sahi. Weekend par pata nahi kaun sa naya controversy aa jayega!
Btw, Photoshop is the forte of the Brown Panted Ones.
#JustSaying
Don't believe me?
Well try and find the torso of the Brown Panted One standing next to the lady receiving her medal 🤣
Here's another Brown Panted Warrior with a MAGICAL Rifle - One that looks like the bastard child of two different rifles, but casts the shadow of something else altogether!!
Read 5 tweets
Jan 9
Dear @defence_pk Ji, thanks for your QT.
I concede on the point of the variant of the IL-78 of PAF.
But I do admire you for the 'What You Smoke' wala point. It is pretty .. err .. 'neat', coming from someone like you!
Allow me to take some time to elaborate upon this point 🙏
I understand that your handle is affiliated with the Pakistan Defence website, or defence.pk, as mentioned in your twitter bio as well. Of course, I would know, since that has been my 'go to' place whenever I find myself in need of some quality entertainment!
So I went there again today!
And guess what I found - people smoking some of the best stuff that there is to be found!
And not just smoke, but grow it as well so that Bhikharistan can stop begging for alms ASAP!
Yup, this member wants to grow opium for the good of the world!
Read 62 tweets

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